Town Slayer
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Tempting Fate"A vigilante seeks justice for all abused women.
9 total reviews
Comment from Harry Smith
The reader really likes the writer writing and is finding this book to be very interesting. I was read for a good story when I saw the book cover I knew I was in for a good read.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2018
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The reader really likes the writer writing and is finding this book to be very interesting. I was read for a good story when I saw the book cover I knew I was in for a good read.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2018
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Thank you so much for your kind review, I'm glad you enjoyed it and that the book cover caught your eye.
Thank you again for another great review, take care.
Comment from apky
I have a feeling this is nearing the end and I almost regret it because I've really enjoyed reading the last chapters. But I'm also glad tht Janet and Ben have resolved their differences and I don't doubt they will get her little boy too.
Thank heavens for the power of love and trust!
Great chapter, Misty.
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2018
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I have a feeling this is nearing the end and I almost regret it because I've really enjoyed reading the last chapters. But I'm also glad tht Janet and Ben have resolved their differences and I don't doubt they will get her little boy too.
Thank heavens for the power of love and trust!
Great chapter, Misty.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2018
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Thank you so much for such a fantastic review, You made my week a whole lot better, thank you, thank you, thank you.
I have a couple chapters to go. I'm trying to find an explosive ending, logical, but leaving readers saying what the heck? One that won't be soon forgotten. I've got it. Thanks for the help.
Thank you again for all your help support and your friendship, it means so much to me, take care.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
She killed all those men and they're just letting her go? Or someone did. I'm confused, as usual. Is self defense sufficient for the torture she used on her victims? Or is Jackie/Janet not the killer?
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2018
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She killed all those men and they're just letting her go? Or someone did. I'm confused, as usual. Is self defense sufficient for the torture she used on her victims? Or is Jackie/Janet not the killer?
Comment Written 24-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2018
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Thank you for your kind review I'm sorry it's left you confused, but I'm sure you've had a lot more on your mind than my story.
The shoeprint at Beth's house or fingerprints on the knife didn't match. Janet. They recently discovered a video of Janet being shoved into the truck. With the truckers extensive record, doing time for rape, being on the national registry, they assume foul play. The nanny cam at her house clears her of husbands murder.
They thought Penny escaped from the mental institution started killing but the fingerprints, DNA that was sent from the asylum doesn't match her either. They thought Jen killed Bobby, but security footage cleared her.
I hope that cleared things up, if not please let me know.
Thanks again for all your support it means a lot to me, take care.
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Then WHO killed all those men?
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Mistydawn
I can see you did a lot or research about the get away killer's car ( sounds like a racing car) now is that a clue?
I liked the dialogue between Janet's lawyer and Phil telling her she is not guilty.
Waiting to see what is going to take place (next)
Gert
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2018
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Hello Mistydawn
I can see you did a lot or research about the get away killer's car ( sounds like a racing car) now is that a clue?
I liked the dialogue between Janet's lawyer and Phil telling her she is not guilty.
Waiting to see what is going to take place (next)
Gert
Comment Written 24-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2018
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Thank you for your wonderful review and all your support it always means a lot to me.
I've loved Corvettes since I was little, helped my dad restore an old 65 corvette. Well he restored, I fetched tools things like that. He even made up things for me to do to make me feel like I was helping.
Thank you again for your great review, take care.
Is the Corvette a clue, well kind of. Not in identifying the killer but it leads to another dead body.
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Hi Mistydawn
How many has she or is it he killed so far?
Gert
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Only 4 Bill, Steve, Willie, Bobby. She needs to pick up her pace, lol.
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Oh sounds like (she) is going to get caught when she doesn't expect it.
Gert
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
I wondered a little bit about the nanny cam thing. They are so commonly used now. Mind you, a better explanation would be that they weren't looking for one so it would be easily missed.
Berryville PD, Detective Webb speaking? - this seems more of a statement than a question.
It may be an idea to use the ellipsis (...) to signify that someone else is talking on the phone. It gives more a realistic tone to Rachel's conversation as long as it isn't overdone.
Why don't I call the police station; see what they have against you - may need a question mark in here.
there was a second murder?I see - spacing here.
I'm not so sure it would be that simple for Janet to get off that truck driver killing. She did shoot the man. The police have the evidence there and only her word for it that it was sexual assault/rape. I don't think they can make that decision.
reestablish your guardianship - re-establish needs the hyphen.
All the best
G
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2018
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Hi there,
I wondered a little bit about the nanny cam thing. They are so commonly used now. Mind you, a better explanation would be that they weren't looking for one so it would be easily missed.
Berryville PD, Detective Webb speaking? - this seems more of a statement than a question.
It may be an idea to use the ellipsis (...) to signify that someone else is talking on the phone. It gives more a realistic tone to Rachel's conversation as long as it isn't overdone.
Why don't I call the police station; see what they have against you - may need a question mark in here.
there was a second murder?I see - spacing here.
I'm not so sure it would be that simple for Janet to get off that truck driver killing. She did shoot the man. The police have the evidence there and only her word for it that it was sexual assault/rape. I don't think they can make that decision.
reestablish your guardianship - re-establish needs the hyphen.
All the best
G
Comment Written 24-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2018
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Thank you so much for your helpful review, I really appreciate you taking the time to help me.
I changed it to Kirk found, a video of him shoving her in the cab. That combined with Janet's saliva on his penis and him a registered as a sex offender... I mentioned the last part very early on, think it'd help to add a reminder, right? I'll work on the ellipsis too.
Thank you again for all your help, support, I greatly appreciate it, take care.
Comment from meeshu
this is well written, misty. the dialogue is crisp and the suspense is building up.
I won't try commenting on content as this isn't what I would read for pleasure. wouldn't be fair..........meeshu
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2018
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this is well written, misty. the dialogue is crisp and the suspense is building up.
I won't try commenting on content as this isn't what I would read for pleasure. wouldn't be fair..........meeshu
Comment Written 23-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2018
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Thank you for your kind review and encouraging words. What things do you like to read?
Thank you again for taking the time to read my chapter, take care.
Comment from robyn corum
MD,
Sure sounds like you've done a lot of research on this story. Great job. I am enjoying the plot; keep it coming. *smile*
Of course, I've got notes for you. --sigh-- I'm such a menace.
1.) Another family's life is shattered because of drugs(,) Rachel solemnly thinks as she continues
2.) running fingerprints, DNA through AFIS and I'm doing facial recognition.(")
3.) "Berryville PD, Detective Webb speaking?" Your parents are fine, Mr. Gains.
--> please check placement of quotation marks in this paragraph
4.) then turns towards her partners. (")Mr. Gains said he gave her his coat
5.) "Thank you, Ben." Please, follow me. follow me.
--> I think the q marks are in the wrong place
--> why is 'follow me' repeated?
6.) He leads them down the hall. (")Please excuse my mess, I haven't had time to clean lately.(")
7.) She's been cleared of her husband's murder(?)" He looks over at Janet and winks. "Wait, did you say there was a second murder(?)
8.) Back to the car again -- at the top, you have her in 7th gear, then making some moves, yada yada, then shifting into 'a higher gear'. I think you need to make sure the reader understands that she downshifted at some point and then was shifting back UP to the higher gear.
9.) the font size is sooo small. Consider making it larger??
Thansk! Hope this helps!
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2018
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MD,
Sure sounds like you've done a lot of research on this story. Great job. I am enjoying the plot; keep it coming. *smile*
Of course, I've got notes for you. --sigh-- I'm such a menace.
1.) Another family's life is shattered because of drugs(,) Rachel solemnly thinks as she continues
2.) running fingerprints, DNA through AFIS and I'm doing facial recognition.(")
3.) "Berryville PD, Detective Webb speaking?" Your parents are fine, Mr. Gains.
--> please check placement of quotation marks in this paragraph
4.) then turns towards her partners. (")Mr. Gains said he gave her his coat
5.) "Thank you, Ben." Please, follow me. follow me.
--> I think the q marks are in the wrong place
--> why is 'follow me' repeated?
6.) He leads them down the hall. (")Please excuse my mess, I haven't had time to clean lately.(")
7.) She's been cleared of her husband's murder(?)" He looks over at Janet and winks. "Wait, did you say there was a second murder(?)
8.) Back to the car again -- at the top, you have her in 7th gear, then making some moves, yada yada, then shifting into 'a higher gear'. I think you need to make sure the reader understands that she downshifted at some point and then was shifting back UP to the higher gear.
9.) the font size is sooo small. Consider making it larger??
Thansk! Hope this helps!
Comment Written 23-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2018
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Thank you for another helpful review. Your not a menace, you just like busting my chops, lol I'm just kidding, I really do appreciate all your helpful suggestions, It's how a learn and grow as a writer. We have to write badly before we write good, right?
I went back and corrected all of my mistakes. The downshift I did right before she turns. Don't know why I didn't think about putting it in knowing a car will die if you don't downshift. All that research and the detail that got me was the most obvious one of all, lol.
Thanks again for your helpful review, take care.
Comment from royowen
Ben takes Janet to see the lawyer friend, PHIL, who rings the police on her behalf, and finds she's been cleared of all charges, the next thing she finds out is Timothy grandparents have been granted custody, but hopefully she can get him back. And meanwhile our killer skilfully manoeuvres out of the trouble she's in, and goes past the startled police. Well done, great episode, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2018
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Ben takes Janet to see the lawyer friend, PHIL, who rings the police on her behalf, and finds she's been cleared of all charges, the next thing she finds out is Timothy grandparents have been granted custody, but hopefully she can get him back. And meanwhile our killer skilfully manoeuvres out of the trouble she's in, and goes past the startled police. Well done, great episode, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 23-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2018
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Thank you so much for all your reviews and your continuous support. It's loyal reviews like you that keep me going. Hemmingway said it best "It is easy to write. you just sit at your typewriter and bleed."
Thank you again for all your help and support, take care.
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Most welcome
Comment from Alexander Vasa
Hello Mistydawn, another good chapter for your novel. I enjoyed the fast-moving dialogue in this post. So realistic and the story is really interesting. I'm wondering what will happen now. I noticed no errors, your grammar, and spelling, etc, is good and the characters are quite vividly portrayed. I have no suggestions for improvement, and thanks for writing and sharing, Ana.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2018
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Hello Mistydawn, another good chapter for your novel. I enjoyed the fast-moving dialogue in this post. So realistic and the story is really interesting. I'm wondering what will happen now. I noticed no errors, your grammar, and spelling, etc, is good and the characters are quite vividly portrayed. I have no suggestions for improvement, and thanks for writing and sharing, Ana.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2018
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Thank you so much for your continuous review and for all your support. I greatly appreciate it. I'm so glad that you continue to enjoy this story. Knowing someone likes my work makes it all worthwhile.
Everything looks good for Janet and the killer, but you should know by now my stories don't stay calm for long.
Thank you again for your kind review, take care.
