Mother Nature
Droughts and flooding rains13 total reviews
Comment from l.raven
HI Kace, I'm sure it would be a blessing...they have had such droughts there...sounds like a refreshing day Sweetie Pie...very well written you...and this is an awesome picture...love your story told...and love your poem...big love to you...Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2018
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HI Kace, I'm sure it would be a blessing...they have had such droughts there...sounds like a refreshing day Sweetie Pie...very well written you...and this is an awesome picture...love your story told...and love your poem...big love to you...Linda xxoo
Comment Written 24-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2018
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Hello Wombat, Tanka you for reading, glad you enjoyed. Much love, Kace XXXX
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you are sooooo welcome Sweetie Pie...love you much...xxoo
Comment from N.K. Wagner
I love your mixture of the natural and supernatural in this story, Kay. Also, there's arriving rhythm to it that conveys the increasing tension as the storm approaches. If you replaced the final two paragraphs with a related haiku, you'd have an excellent haibun. A pleasure to experience. :) Nancy
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2018
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I love your mixture of the natural and supernatural in this story, Kay. Also, there's arriving rhythm to it that conveys the increasing tension as the storm approaches. If you replaced the final two paragraphs with a related haiku, you'd have an excellent haibun. A pleasure to experience. :) Nancy
Comment Written 22-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2018
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Hello my dear friend Nancy, Thanks so much for your review and suggestions. Hope all is well? Love, Kay.
Comment from Harry Smith
I really like the way you write. This short story is excellently written with lots and lots of imagery. The picture selection is perfect for the short story. The reader really enjoyed the read.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2018
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I really like the way you write. This short story is excellently written with lots and lots of imagery. The picture selection is perfect for the short story. The reader really enjoyed the read.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2018
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Hello Harry, Thanks so much for your kind review, glad you enjoyed. Blessings, Kay.
Comment from Rasmine
Hello, Aussie,
I saw you hear before and I always thought you were from Australia. Or maybe you are, you just have never seen a dust devil with your own eyes.
I wish you luck in the contest.
Nome
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2018
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Hello, Aussie,
I saw you hear before and I always thought you were from Australia. Or maybe you are, you just have never seen a dust devil with your own eyes.
I wish you luck in the contest.
Nome
Comment Written 21-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2018
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G'day from Australia! Dust devils live in the desert. I live on the East Coast of Queensland, near the Pacific Ocean. Thanks for reading. Did you enjoy the story? Blessings, Kay.
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Yes, I sure did. :)
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Nice to meet you, :)
Nome
Comment from Michael Steinert
I really enjoyed the take of the story and then was nearly floored when I read you never even been to Australia since you created a beautiful image.!
Thank you and have a great weekend!
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2018
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I really enjoyed the take of the story and then was nearly floored when I read you never even been to Australia since you created a beautiful image.!
Thank you and have a great weekend!
Comment Written 21-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2018
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Hello Michael, I am Australian, live on the East Coast of Queensland. Just haven't been to the Northern Territory! Thank you my friend. Cheers, Kay XX
Comment from mermaids
Your use of words creates a vivid scene of nature that is alive. Love the line about the bull ants and the bats, even these creatures are affected by upheavals in nature. I also like the name Willy Willy, the dust devil. This is a great entry for the contest.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2018
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Your use of words creates a vivid scene of nature that is alive. Love the line about the bull ants and the bats, even these creatures are affected by upheavals in nature. I also like the name Willy Willy, the dust devil. This is a great entry for the contest.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2018
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Hello my friend. Thanks for reading, glad you liked the story. Blessings, Kay XX
Comment from rama devi
Wow, this is unique. It's a novel approach to flash fiction to tell the story as personification of nature. I'm not sure if the judges will approve, because there is no 'plot' per se...just nature's storm resolving, but I personally enjoyed this, especially the poetic devices and descriptive caliber. As a poem, this would be nearing a six. As flash fiction, not quite. Also, there are a few nits to note.
NOTES:
Flash of lightning unzips clouds. What a great line!
*
Kangaroo sniffs dust(-)laden air.
Love this: bats wrap themselves in their own rain coats.
* Cattle and sheep huddle together, spooked by thunder(,) and lightning strikes.
*
Pitter patter of rain drops growing loud, becoming icy hail.
I general, this write overuses gerunds (ING words) and also non-grammatically. Suggestion for above (just use one, not two and switch to active voicing of verb):
Pitter patter of rain drops growing loud, becomes icy hail.
Nice rhyme here:
Smashing, crashing fury whipping trees in wild display of nature's jury.
Nice continued personification:
Whipping wind dies away, sun breaks through to kiss the day. Rain moves on to quench another needy place.
*why the gerund here:
Water flows; uplifted nature smiling.
Suggest:
Water flows; uplifted nature smiles.
Really enjoyed this. Felt I was there. Saw it in my mind's eye. Felt the storm resolve into calm smiles.
Blessings, rd
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2018
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Wow, this is unique. It's a novel approach to flash fiction to tell the story as personification of nature. I'm not sure if the judges will approve, because there is no 'plot' per se...just nature's storm resolving, but I personally enjoyed this, especially the poetic devices and descriptive caliber. As a poem, this would be nearing a six. As flash fiction, not quite. Also, there are a few nits to note.
NOTES:
Flash of lightning unzips clouds. What a great line!
*
Kangaroo sniffs dust(-)laden air.
Love this: bats wrap themselves in their own rain coats.
* Cattle and sheep huddle together, spooked by thunder(,) and lightning strikes.
*
Pitter patter of rain drops growing loud, becoming icy hail.
I general, this write overuses gerunds (ING words) and also non-grammatically. Suggestion for above (just use one, not two and switch to active voicing of verb):
Pitter patter of rain drops growing loud, becomes icy hail.
Nice rhyme here:
Smashing, crashing fury whipping trees in wild display of nature's jury.
Nice continued personification:
Whipping wind dies away, sun breaks through to kiss the day. Rain moves on to quench another needy place.
*why the gerund here:
Water flows; uplifted nature smiling.
Suggest:
Water flows; uplifted nature smiles.
Really enjoyed this. Felt I was there. Saw it in my mind's eye. Felt the storm resolve into calm smiles.
Blessings, rd
Comment Written 19-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2018
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Hello Possum, Thanks so much for reading and editing. I felt the story was stilted myself. I just couldn't make it softer because of the word count. Never done it before. I appreciate you in-depth review. I don't believe it will win a contest! Just love to tell you about Oz. Love, Kay XXX
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Thanks, Possum Sis! I enjoyed the Oz experience. Would love to visit there one day. My guru, Amma, travels there often, and I have many Aussie friends in the ashram in India (and a few from FS too, like you)! I miss Suneagle (Les) and a few others who no longer participate here.
Love,
rd
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I think you are most blessed to have so many good friends. Does Amma have website? XXK
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Absolutely. Very lucky!
Yes, she has a few, actually. The main one is: www.amritapuri.org (that is her ashram headquarters in India - it has the most information)
But there is also a US-based one (with more details about activity in the US: www.amma.org
And there is one website dedicated to her humanitarian and charitable activities, which are vast:
www.embracingtheworld.org
And here she is on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/embracingtheworld/
https://www.facebook.com/MataAmritanandamayi/?ref=br_rs
https://www.facebook.com/Amritapuri/
https://www.facebook.com/amritayoga.amritapuri/?ref=br_rs
And here is the hospital run by Amma (where I do volunteer work when I am in India...see the picture there? I live in one of those tall pink buildings:
https://www.facebook.com/AmritaInstitute/
There are You tubes about Amma as well.
When I met Amma, the programs were like 20 people in someone's living room. Now there will be double-digits of thousands (or more) in huge venues...she has become quite world famous. She won the Gandhi-King award from the United Nations (Mandela also won that). She comes to Australia every year or two, if you'd like to meet her.
Love and smiles,
rd
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Crikey! You sure you ain't her secretary? I will follow up, Avagoodweekend my friend! Love, Kay XXX
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Nope--just an ardent devotee! :-))) xxooo
Comment from Sasha
I am so impressed with this awesome and beautifully written entry for this 150 Words Flash Fiction contest entry. Awesome choice of words that come to life on the page. I enjoyed this immensely and sincerely wish you all the best i this contest.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2018
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I am so impressed with this awesome and beautifully written entry for this 150 Words Flash Fiction contest entry. Awesome choice of words that come to life on the page. I enjoyed this immensely and sincerely wish you all the best i this contest.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2018
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Hello Sasha, Thanks so much for reading and so pleased you enjoyed! Love, Kay.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Amazing picture Kay. We have those willy willies here where I live in Nevada. We call them Devil Dancers. They tear up Jack when they come through. Australia is an amazing country. Good Job, Good Luck in the contest. Nancy
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2018
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Amazing picture Kay. We have those willy willies here where I live in Nevada. We call them Devil Dancers. They tear up Jack when they come through. Australia is an amazing country. Good Job, Good Luck in the contest. Nancy
Comment Written 19-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2018
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Hello Nancy, Thanks so much for reading, glad you enjoyed and thank you for the good wishes! Love, Kay.
Comment from jlsavell
Kace, this reads more like a Gaibun than flash fiction, for it is not truly fiction but a depiction of reality in the poets eyes!
Exceptional my beautiful friend, exceptional.
Jimi
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2018
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Kace, this reads more like a Gaibun than flash fiction, for it is not truly fiction but a depiction of reality in the poets eyes!
Exceptional my beautiful friend, exceptional.
Jimi
Comment Written 19-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2018
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Hello Jimi, Glad to her from you. I have never written flash fiction. I don't expect to win, I just love to tell you about my country. How are you doing kiddo? Love, Kay.
