A Double Rainbow in New York
A sonnet in mainly iambic tetrameter45 total reviews
Comment from krys123
Cheers, Tony;
-there are many sonnets that come as they go but this particular sonnet has touched my soul as it shall everyone else.
-All throughout your writing I had the enjoyable exercise of reading the fluidity of your sonnet. An octave that sets up the reader by painting and dismal austere atmosphere only to be brightened up, metaphorically, "a human child can blaze a trail when In the arc of parenthood." I like how you mentioned arc is a rainbow's arc.
-Exceptional formatted tools for this poem created in enjambment that is the running on of the thought from one line, couplet, or stanza to the next without a syntactical break.
-Good rhyming to all the rhyming words have meanings that are familiar to the conceptual theme of the lines.
-An exceptional adaptation of iambic pentameter also creates and fluidity of the reading of this poem.
-All in all a really enjoyable sonnet And thank you for sharing this, Tony, take care and have a good one especially with all your family and friends who love you dearly.
Alex
PS: I remember when you visited New York just a while back. Are you there again?
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2018
  |
Cheers, Tony;
-there are many sonnets that come as they go but this particular sonnet has touched my soul as it shall everyone else.
-All throughout your writing I had the enjoyable exercise of reading the fluidity of your sonnet. An octave that sets up the reader by painting and dismal austere atmosphere only to be brightened up, metaphorically, "a human child can blaze a trail when In the arc of parenthood." I like how you mentioned arc is a rainbow's arc.
-Exceptional formatted tools for this poem created in enjambment that is the running on of the thought from one line, couplet, or stanza to the next without a syntactical break.
-Good rhyming to all the rhyming words have meanings that are familiar to the conceptual theme of the lines.
-An exceptional adaptation of iambic pentameter also creates and fluidity of the reading of this poem.
-All in all a really enjoyable sonnet And thank you for sharing this, Tony, take care and have a good one especially with all your family and friends who love you dearly.
Alex
PS: I remember when you visited New York just a while back. Are you there again?
Comment Written 17-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2018
-
Many thanks for the sixth star, Alex. As always, I appreciate your supportive comments. No, I'm not back in New York, though we are contemplating another visit. This one was inspired by a photograph that Anna and Dave sent me. Best wishes, Tony
-
Thanks for the info, Tony, didn't And Dave go on that trip in South America? Now I can't remember?
Take care and have a good one.
Alex
Comment from Mark Valentine
Wish I had a six. One of the things good poetry does is to find creative ways to express well-known truths, such as "children bring joy to our lives". Extracting the metaphor of the double rainbow from the photo is a fantastically creative way to anchor that truth.
From the idea of rainbows giving beauty to dismal days, to the brilliant line "Blaze a trail when in the arc of parenthood" - the metaphor fits your messag and the photo perfectly. Then, of course, you cap it off by following the rainbow metaphor to the pot of gold at its end.
Can't help but smile at this one.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2018
 |
Wish I had a six. One of the things good poetry does is to find creative ways to express well-known truths, such as "children bring joy to our lives". Extracting the metaphor of the double rainbow from the photo is a fantastically creative way to anchor that truth.
From the idea of rainbows giving beauty to dismal days, to the brilliant line "Blaze a trail when in the arc of parenthood" - the metaphor fits your messag and the photo perfectly. Then, of course, you cap it off by following the rainbow metaphor to the pot of gold at its end.
Can't help but smile at this one.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2018
-
Many thanks, Mark. I appreciate your supportive comments. Glad you enjoyed the contrasts in this one and that you enjoyed the metaphor. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Isn't that sweet. Matching umbrellas. My, the child has grown fast Tony. Time flies. This is an uplifting poem
for rainy days. Gloomy, rainy days that hang around do tend to make us restless and sad. A walk on a rainy day could be invigorating! Well done. Nancy
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2018
|
Isn't that sweet. Matching umbrellas. My, the child has grown fast Tony. Time flies. This is an uplifting poem
for rainy days. Gloomy, rainy days that hang around do tend to make us restless and sad. A walk on a rainy day could be invigorating! Well done. Nancy
Comment Written 17-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2018
-
Many thanks, Nancy. Teagan seems to be changing day by day. Although we are inundated with photographs, it would be good to be able to see her more often. I appreciate your supportive comments. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
Aw this is touching. So sweet, Tony! This is a great ekphrastic poem. Both poem and picture complement on another beautifully, and I love your interpretation here of "double rainbows" and that you've used it as a metaphor for the happiness that these two bring into your life.
Lovely sentiment in your concluding couplet. Little typo ... "In the arc" ... in the arc.
A most enjoyable poem, Tony! ~~ Connie
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2018
|
Aw this is touching. So sweet, Tony! This is a great ekphrastic poem. Both poem and picture complement on another beautifully, and I love your interpretation here of "double rainbows" and that you've used it as a metaphor for the happiness that these two bring into your life.
Lovely sentiment in your concluding couplet. Little typo ... "In the arc" ... in the arc.
A most enjoyable poem, Tony! ~~ Connie
Comment Written 17-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2018
-
Many thanks, Connie. I appreciate your supportive comments. Thanks for picking up the typo. My eyesight isn't quite what it used to be! Best wishes, Tony
-
I know what you mean about the eyesight, Tony. I feel like I should be carrying a magnifying glass around with me at all times. :-)
Comment from Katya
Nice poem! Certainly makes for cheerful thought on a gloomy day--nothing like a grandchild to light up one's life! And of course the picture is magnificent.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2018
|
Nice poem! Certainly makes for cheerful thought on a gloomy day--nothing like a grandchild to light up one's life! And of course the picture is magnificent.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2018
-
Many thanks, Katya. I appreciate your supportive comments. This little granddaughter is a ray of sunshine to dispel the rainiest of days! Best wishes, Tony
Comment from damommy
I see the double rainbow with Teagan as the pot of gold at the end. Precious picture. How clever to use the umbrellas as rainbows.
I didn't know you could write a sonnet in hexameter. Good to know.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2018
|
I see the double rainbow with Teagan as the pot of gold at the end. Precious picture. How clever to use the umbrellas as rainbows.
I didn't know you could write a sonnet in hexameter. Good to know.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2018
-
Many thanks, Yvonne. I'm not sure that you can write sonnets in hexameter - certainly not the traditional format. As Jim pointed out to me, this isn't in hexameter anyway. Its in tetrameter. It seems that I have been tripping up over my feet! . Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This speaks about double rainbow in New York, there she is the pot of gold for which her mother's heart was sold, a true observation; well said, well done. DR ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2018
|
This speaks about double rainbow in New York, there she is the pot of gold for which her mother's heart was sold, a true observation; well said, well done. DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 17-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2018
-
Many thanks, Dr Alcreator. I appreciate your supportive comments. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from rama devi
Excellent contextual sonnet. That picture looks like an apartment complex my mom's friend used to live in on the lower West Side (23rd and 9th).
Good sonnet composition style. Great meter, flow and rhyming. Good phonetics. Favorite line is the human child blazing a trail in the arc of parenthood...potent!
Just one nit:
match morbid skies that scowl and lower.
Did you mean GLOWER? that would make more sense to me.
*suggestion:
all gloom,(no ,) and set my heart on fire.
*
when I(i)n the arc of parenthood.
The volta is unique and interesting. However, the poem only makes sense if the reader sees the picture, because otherwise they would not know the double rainbow is made from umbrellas. This poem only works WITH the photo...no independently. There are some who call that a weakness. I call it an ekphrastic sonnet! :)
Excellent closing couplet.
An enjoyable read.
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2018
|
Excellent contextual sonnet. That picture looks like an apartment complex my mom's friend used to live in on the lower West Side (23rd and 9th).
Good sonnet composition style. Great meter, flow and rhyming. Good phonetics. Favorite line is the human child blazing a trail in the arc of parenthood...potent!
Just one nit:
match morbid skies that scowl and lower.
Did you mean GLOWER? that would make more sense to me.
*suggestion:
all gloom,(no ,) and set my heart on fire.
*
when I(i)n the arc of parenthood.
The volta is unique and interesting. However, the poem only makes sense if the reader sees the picture, because otherwise they would not know the double rainbow is made from umbrellas. This poem only works WITH the photo...no independently. There are some who call that a weakness. I call it an ekphrastic sonnet! :)
Excellent closing couplet.
An enjoyable read.
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 17-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2018
-
Many thanks, RD. I appreciate your very helpful review and kind words. 'Lower' was a spelling mistake. I have corrected it now, along with the other two suggested edits you suggested. I had intended 'lour', (look angry or sullen; scowl). The buildings in the photo are on the other side of Manhattan, in Stuyvesant Town, Peter Cooper Village. Originally built, I understand, for soldier resettlement after WW2. Best wishes, Tony
-
Ah yes, lour and glower seem similar! :-)))
Comment from Pantygynt
Tony you have your hex and your tetras muddled I am afraid. Most of these lines are of eight syllables (tetrameters -- for metrical feet). A hexameter has six metrical feet or twelve syllables. You did say that you might get roasted for writing a sonnet in hexameter, but the only reason I would put you on the spit is for incorrect nomenclature. Lol
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2018
|
Tony you have your hex and your tetras muddled I am afraid. Most of these lines are of eight syllables (tetrameters -- for metrical feet). A hexameter has six metrical feet or twelve syllables. You did say that you might get roasted for writing a sonnet in hexameter, but the only reason I would put you on the spit is for incorrect nomenclature. Lol
Comment Written 17-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2018
-
Many thanks, Jim. It seems that I have tripped over my feet rather badly here. Perhaps it has something to do with my family nickname of 'Ant' - a little beastie with six feet. I have now amputated two of them. Best wishes, Tony
-
Hope it didn't hurt too much
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Gorgeous - both the poem and the great picture. Perfect rhyme and meter, of course, and the words are wonderful. 'When maudlin thoughts make my life hell,
a double rainbow can inspire' - such loving meaning wrapped up in metaphor. The whole is a lovely read and I particularly like your final couplet - 'Indeed she is the pot of gold for which her mother's heart was sold.' Again, lovely use of metaphor. I enjoyed the read very much. Regards Dorothy
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2018
|
Gorgeous - both the poem and the great picture. Perfect rhyme and meter, of course, and the words are wonderful. 'When maudlin thoughts make my life hell,
a double rainbow can inspire' - such loving meaning wrapped up in metaphor. The whole is a lovely read and I particularly like your final couplet - 'Indeed she is the pot of gold for which her mother's heart was sold.' Again, lovely use of metaphor. I enjoyed the read very much. Regards Dorothy
Comment Written 17-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2018
-
Many thanks, Dorothy. I appreciate your supportive comments and comments about the appropriateness of the metaphor. Best wishes, Tony
