Comment from N. Rabwar

Exceptional

Your poems are such finely crafted gems. I didn't think I would like any poem with the word New York in the title,but I did. I assume that twice removed means grandchild. Your poems are so precise and well executed. They have a unique style. I have to wonder what is your inspiration in the manner in which you write.

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 19-Apr-2018

Many thanks, NR, for your award of six stars for my poem. I appreciate your supportive comments. My inspiration for my poetry is drawn from my own life experience and the techniques owe much to wide reading and study of poets both ancient and modern. I have also learnt considerably from other poets on this website. Best wishes, Tony

Comment from Debra White

Exceptional

Hi Tony,
Your poem is perfect!
I love everything about it, but most of all the final two lines which are just 'wow!"
Tight meter, lovely rhyme scheme, great use of alliteration and enjambment. A pleasure to read.
Kindest regards as always, Debra :)

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 19-Apr-2018

Many thanks for your six star award, Debra. I appreciate your very supportive comments. Best wishes, Tony

reply by Debra White on 21-Apr-2018

Any time! :)

Comment from pome lover

Excellent

Mr. Fawcus -
your daughter and granddaughter live in New York? And you, in Australia?
goodness. You don't get to see each other often, I wouldn't imagine.
You taught me another new word: lour. Had not heard that one before, either.
But I was surprised at the line:"when my maudlin thoughts make my life hell." I didn't think that sounded like you, but I guess everyone has times when they feel like that. I guess I Just didn't understand this one, especially the last two lines.
You certainly achieved honors for this poem, though. congratulations. And the picture is darling!
Katharine - pome lover

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 19-Apr-2018

Many thanks, Katharine. I appreciate your supportive comments. Yes, the distance between us does mean that we don't see each other as often as we would like. However, modern communications technology helps us to keep in touch. My poems, although often based on observed facts, are not necessarily autobiographical. Best wishes, Tony

Comment from Pamusart

Excellent

Is a rainbow rare in New York? I know seeing stars would be nigh impossible. Below is my favorite stanza. It is very inspiring. Thank you for sharing

"When maudlin thoughts make my life hell,
a double rainbow can inspire
such a joy and hope that will dispel
all gloom, and set my heart on fire."

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 18-Apr-2018

I'm not sure how rare double rainbows are in New York. However, the pair pictured are pretty special! Thanks for the review. Best wishes, Tony.

Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)

Excellent

I know we pronounce words differently, but here removed and parenthood would not event be a slant rhyme. Other than that, this is a wonderfully written 8 syllables per line sonnet. Take care, my friend~Debbie

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 18-Apr-2018

Thanks, Debbie. You are right, it is a bit of a stretch, even for a slant rhyme. I may have to think of an alternative. Best wishes, Tony.

Comment from CD Richards

Exceptional

Terrific work with this poem, Tony. It's obvious they are your rainbows. I learned a new word - lour - never heard it before. It seems to have the same meaning as "glower", a similar sounding, and more familiar, one to me.

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 18-Apr-2018

Thanks, Craig. I appreciate the sixth star and your kind words. You are right - a much loved pair of rainbows! Best wishes, Tony.

Comment from Alex Swan

Excellent

A very touching poem, tfawcus.

Ah, parenthood. Some people believe that parenthood is responsible for mental illness, OJ Simpson dilemmas, the so-called Millennium Generation crisis, etc. But I don't believe parents are responsible for any of those things.

Parents, as you so aptly present in your poem, are umbrellas. Whether or not those umbrellas are big enough (sorry for the Police allusion) is, perhaps, another issue.

Thanks very much for your post. I loved reading it.

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 18-Apr-2018

Thanks, Alex. I was interested in your comments about parenting and tend to agree. Best wishes, Tony.

Comment from Irish Rain

Excellent

How totally charming this is!! I love the couplet especially. But the picture steals the show...that teeny umbrella!! I had a rainbow umbrella, but I left it in a Walmart shopping cart, ah well. Loved this!
Blessings...

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 18-Apr-2018

Many thanks, Judy. Sorry you lost your umbrella! Best wishes, Tony

Comment from Wabigoon

Excellent

Tony--
Dammit! Why does the "mother sell her heart?" Maybe you are paying homage to some version of the pot of gold story, but not one that I know.

Surely, you don't mean she sold her heart? Isn't there some other word or image you can use here? Otherwise the poem's terrific. My heart...my heart...sank with that last line.

The "mother found her heart which she thought she'd sold." The mother returned the pot of gold because she found her daughter. The Daughter is worth so much more than the pot of gold there is no comparison, she ignored it and picked up her daughter, etc.

Best
Jeff

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 18-Apr-2018

Many thanks, Jeff. The pot of gold was intended as a metaphor for the daughter, in whom the mother has invested most of her heart. Best wishes, Tony

Comment from catch22

Excellent

Hi Tony, I thought this was a lovely poem about childlike wonder. I liked how you juxtaposed this innocence with the coldness of the city. Good meter and rhyming as well.

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 18-Apr-2018

Many thanks, Pam. Glad you enjoyed the contrasts in this one. Best wishes, Tony