Comment from ngage

Excellent

Great ending to your story. Very emotional and gripping. You have so much talent Shana. I have no doubt rhat your Breedline series will go far. Looking forward to reading your next installment.
Nate

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 18-Apr-2018

Thank you, Nate :)
Your feedback is important to me. It's nice to hear positive words of encouragement. I only hope to continue to entertain you with my Breedline adventures. Thanks a bunch my friend!
Shana :)

Comment from rwilliam

Exceptional

awesome picture ...as always.

After he had placed the baby in the incubator, he moved next to Jace and said, "I can save her." Maybe try: He placed the baby in the incubator and went to Jace, " I can save her."

Tessa looked at her baby for the first time and smoothed her hand over his blond hair. The instant her touch fell upon him, he turned his head and cooed.--LOVE this! So tender and a great visual. :-)

I'm so happy for you and Jace. I don't think I've said it enough, but thank you. I can never repay you and Jace enough for your kindness.--you use the word' enough' twice in close proximity. I'd remove the second one. Just a note. :)

The story is good but what do you think about having Tessa be not so fine so quickly. She lost a lot of blood. Maybe have her being really tired, or groggy. Work that in a little. Maybe the Dr. can say she will be fine instead of 'is'. Just little thoughts likes that. :-)

Great chapter. What an ending and then I read the comforting words that another book's on the way. YAY!! Congratulations and great job!!!

 Comment Written 16-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 17-Apr-2018

Thank you, girl :)
I always love to hear your words of advice and encouraging feedback. This does make a difference in my writing. The reader does see what I overlook, and that's how I can always make the story better.
Your fan and friend,
Shana :)

Comment from apky

Exceptional

Oh, how lovely! This was such a happy last chapter it almost felt like a family get-together at Christmas. I am so relieved that nothing happened to Tessa and her babies, Jem and Jax, are fine. Steven finally hugs his father. Tears and embraces everywhere you turn. You certainly know how to end a book on the happiest note.

I can't wait to start reading the next book!

Open your eyes(,) honey.

Listen to me(,) Jem,

I would love too(to).

 Comment Written 16-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 17-Apr-2018

Thank you dear friend :)
Glad you enjoyed the ending. I'm a sucker for good endings. I even have a heart for some of the bad guys. Its true what they say. Everyone has the power to change, right? :)
Thanks for the encouraging words. You're always inspiring me, not to mention all your helpful advice. I'm so lucky to have help here on FanStory. Not everyone takes the time to help me out.
Sending you hugs!
Always your fan,
Shana :)

Comment from Harry Smith

Excellent

Real nice picture for the real explosive chapter that is very well written with lots and lots of imagery. The reader really enjoyed and will be back to read more.

 Comment Written 16-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 17-Apr-2018

Thank you, Harry :)
Glad you enjoyed the photo and the chapter. I'm looking forward to hearing from you again. Stay tuned... more Breedline adventures to come.
Sincerely,
Shana :)

Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear

Excellent

This speaks, in continuation, next part of the series, death whispers, the final stage, mystery reveals, Lilith puts an end to Dr. Crane, and Kyle and Casey gets Tessa back to the Breedline Covenant praying that Dr. Could save her unborn twins, Helen delivered the twins; well said, well done. DR ALCREATOR

 Comment Written 16-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 17-Apr-2018

Thank you, Dr Alcreator :)
Your dedication to my story is very encouraging. I always look forward to your feedback. Stay tuned... more Breedline adventures to come.
Sincerely,
Shana :)

Comment from royowen

Exceptional

Your story has made subtle changes over the time I've been reading, and it has been some time now dear Shana. I like the theme of glowering evil matched with the unconditionality of the shared love in this covenant, the sibling and family love, children reunited with parents, children being born, as God intended, and over all, and in all, the abiding love of God, which permeates them all. Yes, your audience will probably Change with the poetic thrust of the series. But I like the way it's progressing dear girl, beautifully done, there's always malevolent evil to combat for the covenant. (Perhaps reconciliation for Sebastion and Eve, revealing all is not lost for repentant, contrite heart.) well done, blessings, Roy
Typo :,Unless Jem has (lightening) speed. Lightning?

 Comment Written 16-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 17-Apr-2018

Thank you my dear friend :)
You have been truly dedicated to my story. I am very grateful indeed. And you are right. As my story has moved on... I have brought more light into the story. It's true what what they say... light always triumphs over the dark side. And everyone has the power to change. I believe we all have the ability to do good and become a better person. This is what I want to bring to life as my story continues.
Thank you for inspiring me and catching my typos. I never fail to have those. Haha!
Always your fan,
Shana :)

reply by royowen on 17-Apr-2018

Always Shana

Comment from Alexander Vasa

Excellent

Hello, I love the names you've chosen for your characters and you have a great beginning with Tessa so near death. You build that tension very well and your dialogue is good at propelling your story forward, as good dialogue should. I also liked the ending, which I found almost philosophical.

Nice writing and thanks for sharing it, Ana.

 Comment Written 16-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 17-Apr-2018

Thank you, Ana :)
Your feedback is very inspiring, and thanks for mentioning my characters. For some reason when I think of my next character, a face comes to mind and then the name comes later. I've been asked many times how do I come up with my character names. The only answer I have for that is... they just come to me. LOL!
I do enjoy hearing from you. I would like to thank you in my next book in my author's acknowledgments if that's okay with you. You are inspiring to me.
Sincerely,
Shana :)

reply by Alexander Vasa on 17-Apr-2018

Hello, be my guest, I am honored that you want to do that. I have trouble with characters names, I always use real people, my family members, as it makes it easy for me to keep them in character, and they don't read my writing, so what they don't know won't hurt them, LOL

reply by the author on 18-Apr-2018

Thank you, Ana! You have been an encouragement and I want to thank you in my book.
I do use a couple of family members as well. My son is in all four of my books. He loves it! But... unfortunately, none of my family members read my books either. Go figure? :)