Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

Hi there,

You invested a lot in this small write. the scene is written clearly and vividly. these are tricky things to pull off but you did a good job with this one.

Personally I can't wait for my second childhood.

 Comment Written 07-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 07-Apr-2018

Thank you very much. I appreciate you taking the time to review.

Comment from Harry Smith

Excellent

Well the picture said a lots about this short story that is very well written with lots and lots of imagery and the reader found it to be very interesting. I like the writers work.

 Comment Written 07-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 07-Apr-2018

Thanks so much Harry. I appreciate it!

Comment from karenina

Excellent

Awwww. This is like a Hallmark Dribble Flash Fiction! I'm a sucker for a happy ending and this is just too cuddly and sweet not to adore! The older I get the more romantic these gray haired romance scenario seem to me....

Karenina

 Comment Written 06-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 06-Apr-2018

Thanks so much!! I appreciate it.

reply by karenina on 07-Apr-2018

I am not QUITE that old...but oh, God, hear my plea---bless such happiness to me!

Comment from JDRBAR

Excellent

This captures so much more than I thought so few words could possibly do. It evokes a wonderful image of an old woman who can look back on her life with love and contentment.

 Comment Written 05-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 05-Apr-2018

Thanks so much for the good review.

Comment from Marge Setzer

Exceptional

Sweet bit of nostalgia without being saccharine. I can picture Granny in her shawl rocking back and forth sentimentally thinking about an old beau. I like the picture but am not sure about the pillows unless, of course, her beau was in the military. Or maybe you meant to say swing instead of rocker???? Thanks for sharing. Marge

 Comment Written 04-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 04-Apr-2018

Thanks so much for the great review.

Comment from Sharon Haiste

Excellent

I think this is a good entry for the Dribble Flash Fiction writing prompt.
Your short story tells clearly of Granny's flashback to the porch swing.
Well done and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 04-Apr-2018

Thanks so much!

Comment from Cindy McIntyre

Excellent

I loved that your dribble flash fiction begins with a sound...it pulled me in. I could visualize the scene also with the shawl. You gave just enough descriptives to make it great. Well done!

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 03-Apr-2018

Thanks so much!! I really appreciate it!

Comment from Spitfire

Exceptional

Beautifully written prose with poetic devices: onomatopoeia with "creak, creak", alliteration with hunched and huddled. Dramatic use of ellipsis before the daring thought. Captures the coming of age for this old dear.

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 03-Apr-2018

Thank you so much for the great review and stars.

Comment from LIJ Red

Excellent

Looks like a proper dribble flash to me, and calls memories of old folks in the nursing home, making some kind of motion on and on, and leaving you wondering what they think they are doing...excellent post.

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 03-Apr-2018

Thanks so much!

Comment from judiverse

Excellent

Great verbs make this. Excellent atmosphere and setting with the porch swing. The word "granny" indicates age, especially with the addition of the shawl. The anticipated action was the kiss, which she had been anticipating. There is no age limit on romance. Great entry for this dribble fiction contest, and best of luck. judi

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 03-Apr-2018

Thanks so much!!

reply by judiverse on 03-Apr-2018

You're welcome. Great entry. judi