Comment from ngage

Excellent

For starters, your picture you placed with your chapter is eye catching and the title caught my attention right away. Very clever.
I am always impressed with how you manage to weave between scenes and characters. This shows how creative and professional you are at your craft. Keep writing this story Shana. I have no doubt this will take off some day. Young adults will eat this story up. Looking forward to more chapters.
Your fan,
Nate

 Comment Written 09-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 09-Apr-2018

Thank you, Nate :)
Thanks for mentioning about the photo. I love to find the perfect one to fit the chapter. I can't thank you enough for all your awesome feedback and your encouraging support. You're the greatest!
Sincerely,
Shana :)

Comment from apky

Exceptional

I love the artwork - it's so tender and painful at the same time...

I was, funny enough because I really sometimes so disliked him, hoping that Sebastian doesn't die. Whatever else he is, I think he loves his mate and his children. On the other hand I was hoping that Lilith recovers if for nothing else but for poor Steven.

You wrote about Jace's suffering so vividly I felt with her. I really hope that Tessa and the babies will be fine although the bleeding is scaring me and I'll keep my fingers crossed for her and Jace. It was bad enough to lose Lilith/Lisa.

But altogether you have weaved a fantastic chapter here as well, emotional in an altogether different way. And there were no glitches, no spags. Looks like your sweetheart is having very positive effects on you all round.

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 03-Apr-2018

Thank you dear friend :)
I'm glad you could feel the emotion in this chapter.
Sebastian is my most hated character with readers. But his turn around has changed their minds. He has done a lot of bad things, but he is also misunderstood. My next book will take the reader back to his and Eve's past. It will explain why they turned out the way they did.
Thanks again for your encouraging words. You put a big smile on my face.
Always your fan,
Shana :)

Comment from rwilliam

Exceptional

Great photo. I had a heck of a time finding anything for my last chapter. The art seems very limited right now. Anyway, perfect piece for this chapter!

"Lilith," Sebastian's voice came out as barely a whisper.--Did he mean to say "Lisa?" Maybe I'm missing something.

Other than that, amazing chapter. Tugged at my heart. Wonderful writing my friend.

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 03-Apr-2018

Thank you so much :)
Lilith's real name is Lisa. She was taken captive by physicians when she was pregnant with Tessa and Steven because of her supernatural gifts. Corrupt scientists were researching and experimenting on people with special gifts and rarities like her. After she had the twins, they turned her into Lilith. When Dr. Hubert Crane shot her, it was a serum that brought her back to her natural form... back to Lisa. I hated to end her character, but I didn't see anyway to fit her into my next series. But in the last chapter, her character shows up a few more times.
BTW... there are a lot of images in google you can use that do not have a copyright as long as you are not making money from them.
Thanks again,
Shana :)

reply by rwilliam on 03-Apr-2018

Oh ok I thought who but I wasn't 100% sure. You are doing a wonderful job writing this series. It's got to be hard to keep them all straight, but you are doing it! Good job.
Thanks for the heads up about goggle. I will try to remember that.

Comment from Alexander Vasa

Excellent

Hello Scongrove ... you are writing a very imaginative fantasy fiction here. It was a great read, you open with a major event that hooks the reader, and your characters feel real, in spite of the fantasy genre, they're part of. Your author notes and information regarding the previous chapter fill in the gaps for the reader. I enjoyed it, and your ending is a good place to leave it, as the reader wonders what will happen next.

I saw no errors, the only thing I noticed is a formatting issue from FanStory editor. But that doesn't affect the rating, which I feel is a strong five. Thanks for sharing your story, Ana.

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 03-Apr-2018

Thank you, Ana :)
Your feedback is very encouraging. You made my day, Ana! Thanks for your support.
Sincerely,
Shana :)

Comment from royowen

Exceptional

As usual Shana, beautifully written and composed Shana, the sheer pathos and drama is pouring from every syllable, word, line and sentence, of this fine example of creative sci-fi writing. It would be nice if Lily was brought back, but would suit the pattern, but of course, the twins will be saved, but perhaps not Tessa, Jem's abilities are about to be tested. Well done, Brilliant episode dear Shana, blessjngs, Roy

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 03-Apr-2018

Thank you, Roy :)
As always, you bring the sunshine in my day my dear friend. Thanks for always supporting me. It means the world to me.
Always your fan,
Shana :)

reply by royowen on 03-Apr-2018

Always Shana Dear

Comment from Ricky1024

Excellent

"Death Whispers was well written with great theme and imagery.
It flowed well and read well with no grammar issues as well.
Adjective Content was aligned well with Objective Content and Descriptive Measures aligned perfectly.
Thanks for this and have a blessed day.
Dr Ricky 1024

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 03-Apr-2018

Thank you Dr Ricky :)
Your kind words and awesome feedback made my day!
Hope to hear from you again!
Sincerely,
Shana :)