Town Slayer
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Fight or Fold"A vigilante seeks justice for all abused women.
8 total reviews
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
In the summary - she hit's him over the head - She hits.
"We have two bodies, Sergeant." Steve is in the barn and his wife, Beth is under an oak tree around back." - extra speech mark here.
Using both Janet & Jackie in the narrative is a little confusing. It would probably be better to refer to her as her given name but have others refer to her as the assumed.
She remembers her terrorizing fear when she sees her picture on TV - I'm not sure terrorizing is the right word here. You could go for overpowering or towering.
An over-abundance of vines - overabundance can be a single word here.
she thinks, hoping in the truck - hopping.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2018
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Hi there,
In the summary - she hit's him over the head - She hits.
"We have two bodies, Sergeant." Steve is in the barn and his wife, Beth is under an oak tree around back." - extra speech mark here.
Using both Janet & Jackie in the narrative is a little confusing. It would probably be better to refer to her as her given name but have others refer to her as the assumed.
She remembers her terrorizing fear when she sees her picture on TV - I'm not sure terrorizing is the right word here. You could go for overpowering or towering.
An over-abundance of vines - overabundance can be a single word here.
she thinks, hoping in the truck - hopping.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2018
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Hi stranger. Thank you so much for your helpful review, I always appreciate your suggestions. I can see your point about the confusion, but I'm afraid if I don't use both names in the summary new readers will get confused think it's two characters. So what if I put Jackie, formerly Janet to show they're one?
Thank you so much for all your help and support, it's been great hearing from you again. Your fair rating keeps me humble, reminds me I have a ways to go, take care.
Comment from Ulla
Well, well. well. there's certainly a lot of action here. it appears that the bad guy is getting what he well deserves. I really enjoy reading this. Looking forward to what is next. All the best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2018
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Well, well. well. there's certainly a lot of action here. it appears that the bad guy is getting what he well deserves. I really enjoy reading this. Looking forward to what is next. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 23-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2018
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Thank you so much for your review, I'm glad you liked it. I tried to get into the characters heads this time. Help you guys get to know them, understand them better, why they're this way.
Thanks again for your kind review, take care.
Comment from Ric Myworld
There is always a market for books that make sure the bad guys get what they have coming to them. The only disappointing part to me is that, I don't get to the one giving it to them. Thanks for sharing. :-)
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2018
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There is always a market for books that make sure the bad guys get what they have coming to them. The only disappointing part to me is that, I don't get to the one giving it to them. Thanks for sharing. :-)
Comment Written 23-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2018
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Thank you so much for your review. It would be nice to see those SOB's get what they deserve. All the sexual predators, abusers. Unfortunately, the law doesn't believe in an eye for an eye theory the way my killers do.
Thanks again for all your reviews and support, take care.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Mistydawn
Thank you for introducing Beth
this lady certainty sounds like she was in a mental hospital at one time.
Now Misty is this another clever clue of yours who is the real killer
Gert
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2018
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Hello Mistydawn
Thank you for introducing Beth
this lady certainty sounds like she was in a mental hospital at one time.
Now Misty is this another clever clue of yours who is the real killer
Gert
Comment Written 23-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2018
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Thank you so much for your review. Beth would've been a lot better off with Joe instead of that horrid man. Losing two women he cared about to monsters, Joe remained single for a long time. Until Rachel steals his heart. Oh, Joe tries to deny his feelings, but his heart wins in the end.
You're good at picking up clues. You're going to end up guessing this one if I'm not careful.
Thanks again for your great review and all your support take care.
Oh, I've been meaning to ask you, the lady sitting on the rocks in the water, is that you?
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You are welcome Mistydawn
I sure that you know that you just gave me some great information that is going to help me put all my clues together
The lady in the picture does look like me
maybe that is why I decided to use it
I love to sit upon rocks and watch the water rushing.
Gert
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You probably see a lot of that. Lighthouses too I imagine. I have this thing for lighthouses. My hallway is lighthouse pictures on one side and waterfalls on the other, my other favorite.
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Hello Misty question was your reply met for me
Gert
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About the lighthouses and waterfalls? Yes, you said you liked the rushing water and I told you my two favorites. The message before that I told you about Joe and Rachel's love. See this book, town slayer is based on a book I wrote a long time back. In my newer books Rachel and Joe fall in love, marry. I'm sorry I had you so confused.
Comment from apky
Uh-oh. I think the killer is going to shave off something that shouldn't be... I can't help but feel sorry for the man. Such a cliff hanger. Can't wait for the next post.
Great chapter, sorry I'm already out of sixes.
The team is processing the scene when Joe and Rachel pull into the driveway. Kirk runs to their cruiser as they climb out of the car. ~ This is subjective, so don't take it as an affront against you, Misty. When I have a scene like this one and this was my story, I would not leave at telling the reader that the scene is being "processed". I would instead describe the scene of crime people doing their job, what they are wearing, what they are examing there on the little patch of grass, that tweezer they're shaking into the plastic evidence bag, and so on. I mean this slows doen the story, but it adds flavour to it, if you see what I mean. But as I said - my take on things, not yours.
The way the officer drug(I think you mean "drag"; I don't think the officer gave her any bad medicine. And you need to make it past tense - dragged - because the rest of the sentences in this paragraph are recalled in the past tense.) her across the lawn.
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2018
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Uh-oh. I think the killer is going to shave off something that shouldn't be... I can't help but feel sorry for the man. Such a cliff hanger. Can't wait for the next post.
Great chapter, sorry I'm already out of sixes.
The team is processing the scene when Joe and Rachel pull into the driveway. Kirk runs to their cruiser as they climb out of the car. ~ This is subjective, so don't take it as an affront against you, Misty. When I have a scene like this one and this was my story, I would not leave at telling the reader that the scene is being "processed". I would instead describe the scene of crime people doing their job, what they are wearing, what they are examing there on the little patch of grass, that tweezer they're shaking into the plastic evidence bag, and so on. I mean this slows doen the story, but it adds flavour to it, if you see what I mean. But as I said - my take on things, not yours.
The way the officer drug(I think you mean "drag"; I don't think the officer gave her any bad medicine. And you need to make it past tense - dragged - because the rest of the sentences in this paragraph are recalled in the past tense.) her across the lawn.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2018
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Thank you so much for great review. The killer has a little fun torturing him before he meets his maker. It may be one my gentleman reviewers wants to skip, lol. Then again it'll be fun to read their reaction. I should've added more detail there your right, I'll go work on that. Was my heartbreaking scene alright? Emotional enough? I wanted to show Joe's softer side. That he's not as tough as he lets on.
Thanks again for all your help and support take care.
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Yes, the heartbreaking scene did really move me as a reader... I should have mentioned that in the review but forgot.
Comment from Wetbelly01
Oh yeah!... This is a good one!
Didn't come across any 'glitches' along the way.
Guess I'll hang around to see how this story plays out.
My compliments, well done so far!
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2018
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Oh yeah!... This is a good one!
Didn't come across any 'glitches' along the way.
Guess I'll hang around to see how this story plays out.
My compliments, well done so far!
Comment Written 22-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2018
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Thank you so much for another great review. I'm glad you're really getting into the story, that it's keeping your interest. Poor Jackie has a long way to go, and the killer, she has a lot of jerks to kill.
Thanks again for your great review, take care.
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You're very welcome!
Comment from royowen
Our killer has little mercy for her victims. She's as hard as she can possibly be, but then, who can blame her, but poor Janet, on the other hand, is as much a victim as the killer is now a malevolent beast. It's funny how she now plays God, well done, great scribing, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2018
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Our killer has little mercy for her victims. She's as hard as she can possibly be, but then, who can blame her, but poor Janet, on the other hand, is as much a victim as the killer is now a malevolent beast. It's funny how she now plays God, well done, great scribing, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 22-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2018
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Thank you so much for your wonderful review, and all your support. Although the two are complete opposite they're both after the same thing, and that's justice.
Thank you again for all your support and encouraging words, take care.
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Most welcome
Comment from Alexander Vasa
Hello, nice job with this writing. Jackie is a strong character, and your dialogue shows and doesn't tell, as does your other narration. I enjoy mystery and crime genre. It is exciting to write. Your backstory is good for the reader as are your characters written at the bottom. Good for people coming into the story having not read other chapters.
I noticed no errors. You have a good grasp of English and write well. I'm glad that uncle got what was coming to him. Thanks for sharing your writing, Ana.
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2018
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Hello, nice job with this writing. Jackie is a strong character, and your dialogue shows and doesn't tell, as does your other narration. I enjoy mystery and crime genre. It is exciting to write. Your backstory is good for the reader as are your characters written at the bottom. Good for people coming into the story having not read other chapters.
I noticed no errors. You have a good grasp of English and write well. I'm glad that uncle got what was coming to him. Thanks for sharing your writing, Ana.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2018
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Thank you so much for your kind review, and wonderful praise I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I hope to hear from you again, take care.
