Haibun ( Christmas market )
Two girls took the train back wrongly.13 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
. Because they had asked the conductor, Wilma pressed the emergency break immediately, and without any hesitation. (What does asking the conductor have to do with Wilma pressing the emergency break???? It doesn't make sense.)
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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. Because they had asked the conductor, Wilma pressed the emergency break immediately, and without any hesitation. (What does asking the conductor have to do with Wilma pressing the emergency break???? It doesn't make sense.)
Comment Written 21-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have great second part of the week.
Comment from judiverse
You relate an interesting incident. However, I was misled by the word "girls." The two were mature women, as Wilma was married. Clear presentation of what happened on the train. This is an incident that Wilma and her friend could laugh about later. It probably didn't seem very funny at the time, though. It's easy to see how misstake could have happened. judi
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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You relate an interesting incident. However, I was misled by the word "girls." The two were mature women, as Wilma was married. Clear presentation of what happened on the train. This is an incident that Wilma and her friend could laugh about later. It probably didn't seem very funny at the time, though. It's easy to see how misstake could have happened. judi
Comment Written 21-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have great second part of the week.
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You're welcome. Take care. judi
Comment from Rasmine
Hello, Robina, :)
How are you doing? Hope you are great. It is going to snow here later on, again.
Good form, girl. I commend you on your writing. A haibun is different from a haiku, for sure. I looked it up. You did well, from what I could see. I didn't find any typos in your writing.
Love,
Nome
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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Hello, Robina, :)
How are you doing? Hope you are great. It is going to snow here later on, again.
Good form, girl. I commend you on your writing. A haibun is different from a haiku, for sure. I looked it up. You did well, from what I could see. I didn't find any typos in your writing.
Love,
Nome
Comment Written 21-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have great second part of the week.
Comment from Joan E.
You told the story of a harrowing experience and followed with a haiku that is lighter and describes the type of person Wilma is. I did not realize that Basho wrote travelogues. And I liked being transported to Rothenburg with the picture you selected. Cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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You told the story of a harrowing experience and followed with a haiku that is lighter and describes the type of person Wilma is. I did not realize that Basho wrote travelogues. And I liked being transported to Rothenburg with the picture you selected. Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 21-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have great second part of the week.
Comment from l.raven
Hi Ine, I have never heard of this form...but it seems you did it very well my sweet friend....I love your story told...and love this picture...very well written...love you...Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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Hi Ine, I have never heard of this form...but it seems you did it very well my sweet friend....I love your story told...and love this picture...very well written...love you...Linda xxoo
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have great second part of the week.
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you are so welcome Ine...you have a great evening...love xxoo
Comment from lyenochka
I'm not really familiar with the haibun structure. Does the haiku have to follow the typical 17 syllable total? It's a funny story especially when the conductor asked if they wanted to jump in the water.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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I'm not really familiar with the haibun structure. Does the haiku have to follow the typical 17 syllable total? It's a funny story especially when the conductor asked if they wanted to jump in the water.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have great second part of the week.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This speaks Wilma's nature of making people laugh at times, she and her friend had taken the train wrongly back from Christmas market, she pressed the emergency break and lost time; well written, well done. B A CHANGE INSPIRER-WRITER --DR ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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This speaks Wilma's nature of making people laugh at times, she and her friend had taken the train wrongly back from Christmas market, she pressed the emergency break and lost time; well written, well done. B A CHANGE INSPIRER-WRITER --DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have great second part of the week.
Comment from Artasylum
I love the carefree read of which ever way the wind blow that day. Slice of life is my favorite genre... the girls were so carefree and alive... I need what they are drinking.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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I love the carefree read of which ever way the wind blow that day. Slice of life is my favorite genre... the girls were so carefree and alive... I need what they are drinking.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have great second part of the week.
Comment from Zue65
I have never tried writing a Haibun. Thank you for the informative insights you shared in your author's notes. I learned a lot form your poem and the your notes. Thanks for sharing, all the best.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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I have never tried writing a Haibun. Thank you for the informative insights you shared in your author's notes. I learned a lot form your poem and the your notes. Thanks for sharing, all the best.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have great second part of the week.
Comment from Sugarray77
A great Haibun! You wrote a good story and verse to accompany it. I also appreciate your author's notes where you explained a Haibun. Very helpful and informative. I got a lot out of it. Thanks.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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A great Haibun! You wrote a good story and verse to accompany it. I also appreciate your author's notes where you explained a Haibun. Very helpful and informative. I got a lot out of it. Thanks.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have great second part of the week.
