Just My Mind (Playing Tricks on me.)
A survivor missing a deceased friend46 total reviews
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Nolan!. I am just geting back from a four month haitus of illness myself. I had bladder cancer but now in remission and actually cancer-free. Sorry about your friend. I can imagine it must be difficult missing her.
This is a very sad poem, my friend. I would make one small suggestion: Were it me, for the sake of better pacing, I would breaak this down into four-line stanzas. Just aa suggestion, mind you. God Bless you. It's great being back and reading your work. Bob
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
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Hi, Nolan!. I am just geting back from a four month haitus of illness myself. I had bladder cancer but now in remission and actually cancer-free. Sorry about your friend. I can imagine it must be difficult missing her.
This is a very sad poem, my friend. I would make one small suggestion: Were it me, for the sake of better pacing, I would breaak this down into four-line stanzas. Just aa suggestion, mind you. God Bless you. It's great being back and reading your work. Bob
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
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Hello Bob, welcome back and praise God that you are healed. You are far too valuable a friend to lose. I appreciate your comments and I will explore the changes you suggest. This is a poem I wrote years ago, even before I joined FanStory. I posted on a "What the heck." whim. LOL.
Comment from Pantygynt
Here we have a rhyming poem that has a rhythm that is in no way connected with either metrical or syllabic considerations. I have no idea where it comes from but it works and that is the main thing. An enjoyable tribute to your deceased friend.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
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Here we have a rhyming poem that has a rhythm that is in no way connected with either metrical or syllabic considerations. I have no idea where it comes from but it works and that is the main thing. An enjoyable tribute to your deceased friend.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
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Thank you. This is an old poem, written before I learned anything from my association with the great writers here on the site. I thank you for your comments.
Comment from c_lucas
We are never too old to harvest more friends. Some just past through our lives, while others enrich it. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
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We are never too old to harvest more friends. Some just past through our lives, while others enrich it. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
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Hello Charlie. Great to hear from you my dear friend. Thank you for your kind and generous comments. They are much appreciated.
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My pleasure, Nomi. Charlie
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi there;
Thank you for sharing this compelling poetry which speaks to the strength of friendship and the pain of loss. Your lines flow along and tell the story of how we can miss someone so much, we see their face and hear their voice even though it couldn't be possible.
~patty~
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
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Hi there;
Thank you for sharing this compelling poetry which speaks to the strength of friendship and the pain of loss. Your lines flow along and tell the story of how we can miss someone so much, we see their face and hear their voice even though it couldn't be possible.
~patty~
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
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Thank you Patty. This is a poem I wrote years ago on behalf of the deceased woman's family and other friends. I do believe that it helped them to come to grips with their, our loss.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a sad and heartfelt tribute to a dear friend. Your rememberance here is warm and kind and in your daily life you miss the small things that bring a tear, she was be so proud to know that you wrote this lovely poem, this kind of friendship is to be celebrated, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
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This is a sad and heartfelt tribute to a dear friend. Your rememberance here is warm and kind and in your daily life you miss the small things that bring a tear, she was be so proud to know that you wrote this lovely poem, this kind of friendship is to be celebrated, love Dolly x
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
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Thank you Dolly. This poem was written back in the 90s and it was written shortly after the death occurred. I am pleased to state that the family and surviving friends were somewhat strengthened by it.
Comment from Boogienights
It's sad to lose a friend, as you so eloquently point out in this poignant poem. It is something you never get over or forget, but the pain does fade over time. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
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It's sad to lose a friend, as you so eloquently point out in this poignant poem. It is something you never get over or forget, but the pain does fade over time. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
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Yes I agree with all that you say. This poem was written some time ago, but on rereading it, I felt compelled to submit it. I appreciate your fine comments.
Comment from Heather Knight
How sad and how beautiful! This is superbly written and full of feeling.
I guess your friend lives on in you and those who knew her. These probably sound just like empty words, but I don't know what else to say.
Thanks for sharing your talent.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
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How sad and how beautiful! This is superbly written and full of feeling.
I guess your friend lives on in you and those who knew her. These probably sound just like empty words, but I don't know what else to say.
Thanks for sharing your talent.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
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No, you are right. The people we become are a reflection of the people that we meet and inter-react with over the course of our lives. Those who hurt us, those who love us. They all help form us into the people we become.
Comment from karenina
I generally shy away from poetry stripped naked of all punctuation. I think the theme enticed me and your line breaks were well positioned to give a natural pause and pace to you moving poem.
I enjoyed the read....
Karenina
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
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I generally shy away from poetry stripped naked of all punctuation. I think the theme enticed me and your line breaks were well positioned to give a natural pause and pace to you moving poem.
I enjoyed the read....
Karenina
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
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Dear Karenina, Your comments from among all the fine and moving comments I have received on this poem, stand out and move me the most. I thank you so much, your words are precious to me and I deeply appreciate them.
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Then we are both twice blessed !
Karenina
Comment from Liberty Justice
Nomi this story is a true testament to the fact that chain smokers can die from lung cancer. Y'all probably tried to get her to stop smoking, right? But, she refused, right? I've been trying to get several friends I know to stop smoking but they say they can't stop. Your verses are beautifully written with musical alliterations, love and caring. liberty justice
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
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Nomi this story is a true testament to the fact that chain smokers can die from lung cancer. Y'all probably tried to get her to stop smoking, right? But, she refused, right? I've been trying to get several friends I know to stop smoking but they say they can't stop. Your verses are beautifully written with musical alliterations, love and caring. liberty justice
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
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You are absolutely correct in all that you say. I have a sister in-law that I could not love more. She like her dad cannot seem to stop smoking. We had to watch him suffer a devastating stroke and then slip away in death from smoking and even this has not been enough to make her stop. We are at our wits end as to what we can possibly do.
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Someone told me doctors
can write prescriptions to
help smokers quit smoking.
There are electronic
cigarettes that use vapor
to help stop smoking,
and also, there are
cigarette patches one wears
on their shoulder to help
people quit. You can
google for info. Liberty
Justice
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Hi! Please check out my 2 books for sale in my profile, and spread these around on face book, twitter, etc. and I will do the same for you!$ Thanks! lol liberty justice
Comment from CD Richards
Losing a loved one can really do your head in. Long after my mother died, I used to have such vivid dreams about visiting her, and going normally about the things we used to do, that there were actually times I couldn't tell whether she was still alive or not.
Your love for your friend, and the extent to which you miss her, comes across strongly in this well-written piece. Good job, Craig
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
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Losing a loved one can really do your head in. Long after my mother died, I used to have such vivid dreams about visiting her, and going normally about the things we used to do, that there were actually times I couldn't tell whether she was still alive or not.
Your love for your friend, and the extent to which you miss her, comes across strongly in this well-written piece. Good job, Craig
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
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Thank you Craig. The things I wrote about are real to me. The bond between the lover and the loved are so strong that death is not the separator that some believe it to be. If you do not miss someone that was a part of your life, maybe they did not mean as much to you as you thought.
