Just My Mind (Playing Tricks on me.)
A survivor missing a deceased friend46 total reviews
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
I think I hear you call my name
and as my heart starts to fill with pain
I wonder if I am going insane
Because as I turn around to see
Again it's my mind playing tricks on me ..
This is so beautiful, you are so talented, this is heartrending stuff...well done awesome work as ever kindest regards Meia xx
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2018
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I think I hear you call my name
and as my heart starts to fill with pain
I wonder if I am going insane
Because as I turn around to see
Again it's my mind playing tricks on me ..
This is so beautiful, you are so talented, this is heartrending stuff...well done awesome work as ever kindest regards Meia xx
Comment Written 21-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2018
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Meia, I thank you so much. To receive praise from anyone is a wonderful gift. To receive praise from someone you treasure is an awesome gift and I thank you so much. Love you babe. Remain blessed in you life and in your love.
Comment from Gracie619
Very well written poem that pulled me in right from the start as it reminded me of a good friend of mine. The last stanza wraps it up perfectly! Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2018
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Very well written poem that pulled me in right from the start as it reminded me of a good friend of mine. The last stanza wraps it up perfectly! Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2018
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Thank you, I am so sorry for the loss of your dear friend. I trust that like me, you treasure the memories that you have of better times when your friend was near and in the flesh.
Comment from Dean Kuch
I'm am deeply sorry for the loss of your friend, Nomi.
You have my sincerest condolences.
Good end rhyming as well as a few prime examples of near or slant rhyming ("this/missed") in this well written, truly touching tribute as well.
May she Rest In Peace.
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2018
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I'm am deeply sorry for the loss of your friend, Nomi.
You have my sincerest condolences.
Good end rhyming as well as a few prime examples of near or slant rhyming ("this/missed") in this well written, truly touching tribute as well.
May she Rest In Peace.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2018
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Thank you Dean. As I told a mutual friend Meia Sayers, to receive praise from anyone is a gift, to receive a positive review such as yours and hers is an awesome gift. I appreciate you and admire you so much. Your skill is displayed in all that you post. So, there is no debate that you are qualified to critique a writer's work, this makes your review comments all the more valuable.
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The pleasure was all mine, Nomi, as always.
~Dean
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hi Nomi, a sad, heartfelt poem mixed rhyme and meter. A thoughtful poem about a lost friend. Reading your poem it tells that one of the woman has passed on and you miss her very much. Well written with much feeling. Warm regards Dorothy
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2018
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Hi Nomi, a sad, heartfelt poem mixed rhyme and meter. A thoughtful poem about a lost friend. Reading your poem it tells that one of the woman has passed on and you miss her very much. Well written with much feeling. Warm regards Dorothy
Comment Written 21-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2018
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Thank you Dorothy, this poem has special meaning to me other than just a tribute to a lost friend. The welcome this poem has received is vindication for a critic that labeled it boring and corny. I hesitated to submit it for years because of this person's unfair comments.
Comment from Cedar
Hello Nomi: This one really touched my old heart. My wife and I have been together for 50 years and we both realize that it will end more sooner than later.
And, we both expect it to be just as you have written about in this exceptional poem for the one left behind.
I am sorry for your loss of a good friend.
You have a God-given talent for writing. Please don't ever stop using it. Take care...Bill
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2018
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Hello Nomi: This one really touched my old heart. My wife and I have been together for 50 years and we both realize that it will end more sooner than later.
And, we both expect it to be just as you have written about in this exceptional poem for the one left behind.
I am sorry for your loss of a good friend.
You have a God-given talent for writing. Please don't ever stop using it. Take care...Bill
Comment Written 21-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2018
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Thank you Bill, I could no more stop writing than I could or would willingly stop breathing. I pray that the end of life whenever it comes for either one of us, will be swift, without pain and while we are already sound asleep.
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Hello Nomi. I just went to see that movie "Finding our Feet" and the loss of one of the characters feels very much like the love you feel for your friend. It hurts like hell yet, we all have to face it don't we? Loved this ... good luck. xoxo Kiwi
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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Hello Nomi. I just went to see that movie "Finding our Feet" and the loss of one of the characters feels very much like the love you feel for your friend. It hurts like hell yet, we all have to face it don't we? Loved this ... good luck. xoxo Kiwi
Comment Written 21-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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I loved your heart warming comments. You have made my morning so much brighter, thank you.
Comment from F Scott Hafner
Outstanding young man - I get bored reading most anything, not so here. The words just flow into the brain. I would prefer you ended it at "You were always loved". "you are always missed" is redundant as you clearly painted that picture above. I think it reduces the power of the piece. But that is certainly your call - I'm just one reader among many.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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Outstanding young man - I get bored reading most anything, not so here. The words just flow into the brain. I would prefer you ended it at "You were always loved". "you are always missed" is redundant as you clearly painted that picture above. I think it reduces the power of the piece. But that is certainly your call - I'm just one reader among many.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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Thank you for your honest opinion, stated without rancor or undue criticism. I appreciate reading everyone's thoughts about my writing decisions. They help me to become a better writer. I especially love the fact that your over overall opinion of the poem was favorable, and I thank you for that.
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👍
Comment from Beck Fenton
Missing loved ones does feel so physically painful. I walked along with you, hoping for a sign you could find. I know you shared your grief and I appreciate reading it. I thank you for this wonderful poem.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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Missing loved ones does feel so physically painful. I walked along with you, hoping for a sign you could find. I know you shared your grief and I appreciate reading it. I thank you for this wonderful poem.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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Thank you so much for your compassion. People like you give me hope that our world is not lost or doomed.
Comment from Jesse James Doty
I like the way you move smoothly, from one style of poetry, in the first three stanzas, to another style of poetry, with a mantra of the title in the last line of each of the four, five and six stanzas. And what a beautiful tribute to your friend who died of lung cancer. Your Author's notes were helpful in explaining, the grief you, and your surviving friend, feel every day. I love your choice of rhymes. They are very creative. I noticed sometimes you rhyme or alliterate within the same line. Very tasteful. The subject matter is warm and heartbreaking. The artwork is noteworthy for its cleverness with the color scheme. It is also beautiful and fitting for this piece. Thank you for sharing your personal grief and love for an unlucky friend. The sadness of the waste of life, due to cigaret smoking, is devastating.
Take care, Jesse
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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I like the way you move smoothly, from one style of poetry, in the first three stanzas, to another style of poetry, with a mantra of the title in the last line of each of the four, five and six stanzas. And what a beautiful tribute to your friend who died of lung cancer. Your Author's notes were helpful in explaining, the grief you, and your surviving friend, feel every day. I love your choice of rhymes. They are very creative. I noticed sometimes you rhyme or alliterate within the same line. Very tasteful. The subject matter is warm and heartbreaking. The artwork is noteworthy for its cleverness with the color scheme. It is also beautiful and fitting for this piece. Thank you for sharing your personal grief and love for an unlucky friend. The sadness of the waste of life, due to cigaret smoking, is devastating.
Take care, Jesse
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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You are very perceptive Jesse. I appreciate your clever comments and your sympathetic response to my poem. Thank you very much.
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Your poem was a valuable addition to the FS collection. Thank you for your compliments. I am glad you liked my review. Have a good Wednesday.
Jesse
Comment from Sharon Haiste
Your story of love and loss is well told in your beautiful verse.
Your feelings of missing the one you love come through nicely.
Thank you for sharing this lovely verse with us.
Sharon
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
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Your story of love and loss is well told in your beautiful verse.
Your feelings of missing the one you love come through nicely.
Thank you for sharing this lovely verse with us.
Sharon
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
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No, no, thank you for receiving it so well and letting me know that what I wrote has value and meaning. A writer can never hope to receive more.
