Mamma Mia
Parenting with a little help!15 total reviews
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is a good entry for the Parenthood: An Indelible Memory writing prompt.
Your story of lasting love is clear and well written.
Well done and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
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I think this is a good entry for the Parenthood: An Indelible Memory writing prompt.
Your story of lasting love is clear and well written.
Well done and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
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Thank you.
Comment from TITAN BLACK1
That was a very intriguing story. Nevertheless, you did
a good job writing it. Yes, children can be something else.
And Andrew was just that. Lol. Anyway, nice job.
Keep writing.
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2018
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That was a very intriguing story. Nevertheless, you did
a good job writing it. Yes, children can be something else.
And Andrew was just that. Lol. Anyway, nice job.
Keep writing.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2018
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Thanks so much for your comments.
Comment from gene roush
This is a cute story, and one that every parent can relate to.
It has nice action, and raises a smile.
Your introduction drags a bit. I think it would add to the flow if you introduced the setting and simply explained that you were a military family stationed in Italy. The details of your husabnd's expertise seem superfluous to the story.
It has a nice conclusion.
Thanks for sharing.
Gene
My Italian grandmother called me Gino Bambino.
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2018
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This is a cute story, and one that every parent can relate to.
It has nice action, and raises a smile.
Your introduction drags a bit. I think it would add to the flow if you introduced the setting and simply explained that you were a military family stationed in Italy. The details of your husabnd's expertise seem superfluous to the story.
It has a nice conclusion.
Thanks for sharing.
Gene
My Italian grandmother called me Gino Bambino.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2018
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Thanks so much for your comments.
Comment from RodG
I think any present-day or former military family member could appreciate this story set in a foreign country. You give us pertinent background that sets the scene, but you need to focus more attention on the landlady who becomes the antagonist of sorts. Does she have a name? What are YOU most aware of as you're using those tweezers--your son or her? What are you thinking? Describe the aftermath. What did the landlady say or do? A scene like this is a challenge because of Rule #1 in writing: Show, don't tell. This prompt has no word limit, so add more descriptive details.
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reply by the author on 19-Mar-2018
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I think any present-day or former military family member could appreciate this story set in a foreign country. You give us pertinent background that sets the scene, but you need to focus more attention on the landlady who becomes the antagonist of sorts. Does she have a name? What are YOU most aware of as you're using those tweezers--your son or her? What are you thinking? Describe the aftermath. What did the landlady say or do? A scene like this is a challenge because of Rule #1 in writing: Show, don't tell. This prompt has no word limit, so add more descriptive details.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2018
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Thanks so much for your comments.
Comment from apky
Delightfully told and a delightful story from those tragicomedy sides of life. I truly enjoyed your well narrated story. I could picture every single scenario as if I were there.
When I read this below, I was reminded of a fiction figure who is one of my favourite protagonists: Jack Reacher.
>>As a military family, we traveled and lived wherever the Army sent us. As an aviation officer who flew Chinook helicopters, my husband was assigned to fun and interesting places. We went where he went, and at the time of this story we lived at Aviano Air Force Base, in Aviano, Italy.<<
I know Boelingen although I've never been inside the Kaserne - I don't think they'd let me either, unless I know somebody in there.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2018
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Delightfully told and a delightful story from those tragicomedy sides of life. I truly enjoyed your well narrated story. I could picture every single scenario as if I were there.
When I read this below, I was reminded of a fiction figure who is one of my favourite protagonists: Jack Reacher.
>>As a military family, we traveled and lived wherever the Army sent us. As an aviation officer who flew Chinook helicopters, my husband was assigned to fun and interesting places. We went where he went, and at the time of this story we lived at Aviano Air Force Base, in Aviano, Italy.<<
I know Boelingen although I've never been inside the Kaserne - I don't think they'd let me either, unless I know somebody in there.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2018
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Thanks so much for the wonderful review. I appreciate, so much, you taking your time to review it. Best wishes!!
