His Gift to Us
He thought we were worth it33 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
This spiritual poem, His Gift to Us, has a cool rhyme scheme of ABABAB and follows the Passion Play through to the crucifixion. You add a promise at the end that acknowledges that He will come again. Neat.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2018
  |
This spiritual poem, His Gift to Us, has a cool rhyme scheme of ABABAB and follows the Passion Play through to the crucifixion. You add a promise at the end that acknowledges that He will come again. Neat.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2018
-
Thank you, Bill. This is a great review.
Comment from BeasPeas
You have told the story well here. Each year we celebrate the holiest day of the year at Easter. I wish you much luck in the contest with this fine entry. There may be a typo here: "One whom they contemned. (condemned?) Marilyn
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2018
|
You have told the story well here. Each year we celebrate the holiest day of the year at Easter. I wish you much luck in the contest with this fine entry. There may be a typo here: "One whom they contemned. (condemned?) Marilyn
Comment Written 22-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2018
-
No, the word is 'contemned.' It's explained in the author notes. It means to look down on with disdain. Thank you for a great review.
-
Well, duh! I always read the notes. Wouldn't you know it--I missed it this one time.
-
Not to sorry. I've done the same. 8-)
Comment from ScarletAffliction
We know the Lamb of God who came to earth
was crucified and died to prove our worth.
From this, 'the greatest story ever told,'
we know He'll come again to take His fold.
Lovely poem. Your rhyme scheme was working for you and there weren't any errors that I could see, though I had to look up "contemned" to make sure. lol. Not a word you see everyday :)
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
|
We know the Lamb of God who came to earth
was crucified and died to prove our worth.
From this, 'the greatest story ever told,'
we know He'll come again to take His fold.
Lovely poem. Your rhyme scheme was working for you and there weren't any errors that I could see, though I had to look up "contemned" to make sure. lol. Not a word you see everyday :)
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
-
Thank you for reviewing. The word was explained in the author notes.
Comment from Sugarray77
This is a very good entry for the He is Risen (Easter Celebration) contest. I was blessed as I read through it and think you developed the rhythm and flow very well. Well done and thank you.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
|
This is a very good entry for the He is Risen (Easter Celebration) contest. I was blessed as I read through it and think you developed the rhythm and flow very well. Well done and thank you.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
-
Thank you for reviewing. I'm so happy you liked it. I liked writing it.
Comment from estory
This is one of the better Easter poems in this contest, in my opinion. You have a somber tone here, a measured meter, and I think the theme demands that kind of approach. You tell the Easter story, through the pain and suffering to the moment of glory, when the angels open the tomb, and Christ comes back for his flock. The rhymes tell it in a musical fashion. It is a retelling of the biblical account; not abstract enough in the imagery to make it mysterious, not personal enough to make us feel your own personal experience. I wonder if you are familiar with Pasternak's beautiful poem, Holy Week, from the Poems of Yuri Zhivago, in the epilogue of his novel, Dr. Zhivago. This is the gold standard of Holy Week/ Easter poems, in my opinion, and I would recommend reading it for all doing this contest. estory
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
|
This is one of the better Easter poems in this contest, in my opinion. You have a somber tone here, a measured meter, and I think the theme demands that kind of approach. You tell the Easter story, through the pain and suffering to the moment of glory, when the angels open the tomb, and Christ comes back for his flock. The rhymes tell it in a musical fashion. It is a retelling of the biblical account; not abstract enough in the imagery to make it mysterious, not personal enough to make us feel your own personal experience. I wonder if you are familiar with Pasternak's beautiful poem, Holy Week, from the Poems of Yuri Zhivago, in the epilogue of his novel, Dr. Zhivago. This is the gold standard of Holy Week/ Easter poems, in my opinion, and I would recommend reading it for all doing this contest. estory
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
-
What a lovely review. And such wonderful remarks. I can't tell you how much I appreciate that. Thank you.
Comment from William Ross
for God gave man his only son in sacrifice of the sin's of man, a great gift to give the ones you love. Great job and good luck on this, have a great day.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
|
for God gave man his only son in sacrifice of the sin's of man, a great gift to give the ones you love. Great job and good luck on this, have a great day.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
-
Thank you for reviewing and the good wishes. I appreciate it.
Comment from MelB
Hi, this is a wonderful poem you've written. You told the greatest story ever told well! I wonder how awful those people felt, when they realized who they had killed.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
|
Hi, this is a wonderful poem you've written. You told the greatest story ever told well! I wonder how awful those people felt, when they realized who they had killed.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
-
I've often wondered that, too. Thank you for a great review.
-
You're welcome.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
This is a great contest entry. The picture is a perfect match for your well-chosen words. Your words flow smoothly with great rhyme. Your story tells the truth in a great, but sad, way. I like that you introduced 'contemned'. I have learned a new word. Your rhymes are awesome.
I like the color scheme, too. This is a great presentation. Best wishes in the contest. Jan
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2018
 |
This is a great contest entry. The picture is a perfect match for your well-chosen words. Your words flow smoothly with great rhyme. Your story tells the truth in a great, but sad, way. I like that you introduced 'contemned'. I have learned a new word. Your rhymes are awesome.
I like the color scheme, too. This is a great presentation. Best wishes in the contest. Jan
Comment Written 19-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2018
-
Thank you for this wonderful review. You know how much I value your opinion.
Comment from Jeffrey L. Michaux
This is a very descriptive poem with the message to the reader about sacrifice, faith, hope, and victory. You did a great job with the death, burial and resurrection message of this also. Great job and well done.
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2018
|
This is a very descriptive poem with the message to the reader about sacrifice, faith, hope, and victory. You did a great job with the death, burial and resurrection message of this also. Great job and well done.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2018
-
Thank you. That means a lot to me.
Comment from LIJ Red
I have a suggestion: "The Temple VEIL was ripped from side to side." This was a few years before Titus ripped the Temple. I think you have nailed the prompt squarely with this poem.
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2018
|
I have a suggestion: "The Temple VEIL was ripped from side to side." This was a few years before Titus ripped the Temple. I think you have nailed the prompt squarely with this poem.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2018
-
Thanks. I'll take a look and change it if it doesn't disturb the meter. 8-)
