What More Will It Take?
A Pantoum56 total reviews
Comment from Dean Kuch
I'm not all too familiar with the Pantoum form of poetry, Diane so your author's notes were very helpful.
It appeared to me based on your notes and what I read that you constructed a perfect Pantoum poem. And a darned good one at that!
Bravo,
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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I'm not all too familiar with the Pantoum form of poetry, Diane so your author's notes were very helpful.
It appeared to me based on your notes and what I read that you constructed a perfect Pantoum poem. And a darned good one at that!
Bravo,
Comment Written 21-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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Dean!
Twice in one day?
BOOM!
These pantoums are really challenging to pen. Only the second one I have ever attempted. Joy Graham writes some pretty darn fine ones.
Thank you for your excellent rating and review. So appreciated!
diane
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Hahaha, yep, twice in one day, Diane.
I thought, "What the heck--why not?"
Warmest wishes,
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Glad I didn't disappoint!
:)
diane
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You never do.
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hi KT - this is a very well written Pantoum in perfect form. Your word choices are really good. Every stanza reads well and the repeated lines alternated do not sound at all contrived to meet the demands of this form. In fact rereading, each stanza could stand alone. Well Done. Warm regards Dorothy x
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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Hi KT - this is a very well written Pantoum in perfect form. Your word choices are really good. Every stanza reads well and the repeated lines alternated do not sound at all contrived to meet the demands of this form. In fact rereading, each stanza could stand alone. Well Done. Warm regards Dorothy x
Comment Written 21-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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Hello Dorothy,
First of all, a huge congratulations for your First Place in the Rhyming Contest! What a wonderful achievement and a glorious poem!
As for my pantoum...whew! These are really challenging to pen, but rewarding if they make sense!
I am deeply honored by your exceptional rating and complimentary review!
Thank you so much!
diane
Comment from Artasylum
This hit my heart... It kind of hurts to realize that mankind (me included,) is so disconnected from one another and beyond that we can't seem to rise above our negativity and bitterness. ouch. I for one will rise above. thanks.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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This hit my heart... It kind of hurts to realize that mankind (me included,) is so disconnected from one another and beyond that we can't seem to rise above our negativity and bitterness. ouch. I for one will rise above. thanks.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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Hello!
So pleased my poem resonated with you Artasylum.
Thank you for your excellent rating and thoughtful review.
diane
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Pleasure was all mine.
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I resonated with me in a good way... thanks. Diana
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Pleasure was all mine.
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Eye Opening poem... yours, Diana
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Staying Positive. Yours, Diana
Comment from ExperiencingLiphe
I honestly don't know what it will take for people to treat the world better. Looking at the night sky with all the stars and everything up there can certainly make us appreciate the world we have today and make us want to do better but there are always those just don't care about anything.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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I honestly don't know what it will take for people to treat the world better. Looking at the night sky with all the stars and everything up there can certainly make us appreciate the world we have today and make us want to do better but there are always those just don't care about anything.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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Hello Friend,
Thank you for your excellent rating and thoughtful review.
I have no answers...just a lot of questions and reflections...
Thank you again!
diane
Comment from cailinraine8
Marvelously done, finely presented... it seems that you have followed all the restraints in this form of poetry although I am not too familiar with them. The pantoum is another I have to learn about and try. This is eloquently done and another fine example of beautiful work.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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Marvelously done, finely presented... it seems that you have followed all the restraints in this form of poetry although I am not too familiar with them. The pantoum is another I have to learn about and try. This is eloquently done and another fine example of beautiful work.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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Hello Friend,
Thank you for your excellent rating and complimentary review.
Both so appreciated!
diane
Comment from ScarletAffliction
Girl, I applaud you for trying something so tricky as this...um...Pantoum. ( Who creates these rules? Interesting stuff!)
Every day we make the decision to choose
We profess to know what is right - and often we try
How much more do we dare to lose
As we gaze upwards to the vast evening sky...
I loved these closing lines and am impressed at your perseverance to carry this scheme through as many stanzas as you did. Beautiful work!
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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Girl, I applaud you for trying something so tricky as this...um...Pantoum. ( Who creates these rules? Interesting stuff!)
Every day we make the decision to choose
We profess to know what is right - and often we try
How much more do we dare to lose
As we gaze upwards to the vast evening sky...
I loved these closing lines and am impressed at your perseverance to carry this scheme through as many stanzas as you did. Beautiful work!
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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Hello ScarletAffliction!
Smiles all around!
Loved your review!
Thank you for your excellent rating and the complimentary thoughts!
diane
Comment from Janilou
Every day we make the decision to choose
We profess to know what is right - and often we try
How much more do we dare to lose
As we gaze upwards to the vast evening sky...
Oh, yes, indeed we do. I just don't understand why, as advanced as we are, why, why, why can't we put that intelligence to good use and just get along?
Your poem made me think, and is very well written.
All the best,
Jan
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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Every day we make the decision to choose
We profess to know what is right - and often we try
How much more do we dare to lose
As we gaze upwards to the vast evening sky...
Oh, yes, indeed we do. I just don't understand why, as advanced as we are, why, why, why can't we put that intelligence to good use and just get along?
Your poem made me think, and is very well written.
All the best,
Jan
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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Hello Jan,
Way back in 2007, when I first joined FanStory, I remember your reviewing my work. I was gone for quite a while, but now I am back, and it is so good to hear from you again!
Thank you for your excellent rating and thoughtful review!
diane
Comment from royowen
I am only blessed by a righteous God. Who alone knows wisdom from a tooth. We bumble our way through like, quite Fien well meaning but invariably leave chaos behind us, I guess the good works we can only be sown in Christ. "Apart from me you can do nothing...John 15. Well done Diane, beautifully written pantoum, difficult to do, but you've done a fantastic job with this one,good job, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
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I am only blessed by a righteous God. Who alone knows wisdom from a tooth. We bumble our way through like, quite Fien well meaning but invariably leave chaos behind us, I guess the good works we can only be sown in Christ. "Apart from me you can do nothing...John 15. Well done Diane, beautifully written pantoum, difficult to do, but you've done a fantastic job with this one,good job, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
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Hello Roy!
Thank you for your excellent rating and thoughtful review.
I so appreciate your thoughts...
diane
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Most welcome Diane
Comment from Beck Fenton
Oh my goodness! What a wonderful poem you have woven out of a complicated web of delicate design. I am impressed! I hope to learn more from you!. My hat (if I wore one) would be off to you in salute. The art is perfectly chosen.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
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Oh my goodness! What a wonderful poem you have woven out of a complicated web of delicate design. I am impressed! I hope to learn more from you!. My hat (if I wore one) would be off to you in salute. The art is perfectly chosen.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
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Hello Beck!
I am deeply honored by your exceptional rating and complimentary review. This is the second pantoum I have ever penned. They are pretty challenging, but there is a sense of satisfaction once they all come together! Joy Graham really pens pantoums well. I just read two of hers today, and they are wonderful!
I so appreciate your review.
Do stop by again!
diane
Comment from estory
This poem makes use of that repeating format, to paint a picture of mankind going in circles, trapped by his own failings, unable to escape from his hate and fear and insecurities. Unable to find any answers in that dark, night sky. I think that dark sky is a great image here. The maze like format keeps circling around itself like a Rubrik's cube, nicely crafted. It could use a few more images like that sky image to color it up a bit estory
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
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This poem makes use of that repeating format, to paint a picture of mankind going in circles, trapped by his own failings, unable to escape from his hate and fear and insecurities. Unable to find any answers in that dark, night sky. I think that dark sky is a great image here. The maze like format keeps circling around itself like a Rubrik's cube, nicely crafted. It could use a few more images like that sky image to color it up a bit estory
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
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Thank you for stopping by and for your excellent rating and thoughtful review, estory.
Much appreciated!
diane
