Town Slayer
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Confronting the Past"A vigilante seeks justice for all abused women.
7 total reviews
Comment from mbroyles2
The premise of your story is very good and you can definitely develop a terrific plot out of it.
I noticed that it appears you are writing in the present tense using an omniscient point of view.
While there are no rules that says you can't do this, it is my experience that using these distance the reader from your characters.
Imagine if I was sitting across from you and you were telling me this story.
You wouldn't tell it to me in the present tense because it already happened.
Secondly when you put inside the heads of too many characters it's difficult to connect to the one main character in the story.
I tend to write in several POV's, but only one per scene.
But, like I said, there are no clear rules here and it is definitely the writer's choice.
You story has lots of action and clearly focuses on an abusive woman who takes matters into her own hands.
For that I think this is an excellent story.
Michael
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
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The premise of your story is very good and you can definitely develop a terrific plot out of it.
I noticed that it appears you are writing in the present tense using an omniscient point of view.
While there are no rules that says you can't do this, it is my experience that using these distance the reader from your characters.
Imagine if I was sitting across from you and you were telling me this story.
You wouldn't tell it to me in the present tense because it already happened.
Secondly when you put inside the heads of too many characters it's difficult to connect to the one main character in the story.
I tend to write in several POV's, but only one per scene.
But, like I said, there are no clear rules here and it is definitely the writer's choice.
You story has lots of action and clearly focuses on an abusive woman who takes matters into her own hands.
For that I think this is an excellent story.
Michael
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
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Thank you so much for your terrific review and for your suggestions.
Do you think third person limited would be better because of the multiple storylines? That would make the story seem like it's happening now, so I can stay with present tense, right? What would you choose and why? Any advice you can give me will be greatly appreciated. I'm here to learn, grow as a writer.
Thank you again for your wonderful review, take care.
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it's extremely difficult to write a novel from multiple perspectives in the present tense. In fact I've never read one that has been.
Most novels are written from either a first person or third person POV. With the multiple storylines, third person seems best suited for you and when you write make sure you stay in the head of the that person and describe the story as she/he sees it.
Good luck!
Michael
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I hate to keep being a bother, but I have a question. 3rd person limited I tell the story through the eyes of one character, right? So can I say things like Jerry sees, feels etc... if Jerry's my main character?
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That's correct.
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It's me again, your pia. I've been trying to write third person limited, but I'm not sure it's right.
When the narrator smiles, laughs etc.. use he or she since using I would be the first person pov?
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Correct.
Comment from apky
Poor Janet. At least the farmer seems a kind person who will genuinely help her. The pace is fast as always and the switch between different scenarions ratchet up the suspense. Very well done.
Horrifying imagines("imagines" isn't a noun. Maybe you could use images or imaginations) flash through her mind as she tries to escape.
She then remembers his severed head. ~ How did she manage to severe his head? I thought she shot him, not chopped his head off...
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2018
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Poor Janet. At least the farmer seems a kind person who will genuinely help her. The pace is fast as always and the switch between different scenarions ratchet up the suspense. Very well done.
Horrifying imagines("imagines" isn't a noun. Maybe you could use images or imaginations) flash through her mind as she tries to escape.
She then remembers his severed head. ~ How did she manage to severe his head? I thought she shot him, not chopped his head off...
Comment Written 18-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2018
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Thank you for your kind review.
It should be images and I deleted the whole part about the head.
Thank you again for your helpful review and all your support, take care.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Misty
to me you just gave me a clue (maybe) now I just need to who Uncle Bud ( from one of your previous chapters who Uncle Bud was attacking.
You know how to keep the suspense going.
Gert
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2018
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Hello Misty
to me you just gave me a clue (maybe) now I just need to who Uncle Bud ( from one of your previous chapters who Uncle Bud was attacking.
You know how to keep the suspense going.
Gert
Comment Written 18-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2018
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Thank you so much for your wonderful six-star, you made my week. Uncle Bud hasn't been mentioned until now, but your right he is a clue.
Thank you again for such a fantastic review, I'm very honored, take care.
Comment from Wetbelly01
Neat story you have going on here...
Didn't come across any 'glitches' along the way...
My compliments... Guess I'll stick around
and see how see how this story plays out...
If you don't mind.
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2018
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Neat story you have going on here...
Didn't come across any 'glitches' along the way...
My compliments... Guess I'll stick around
and see how see how this story plays out...
If you don't mind.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2018
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Thank you so much for your wonderful review. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I'd be honored if you stuck around.
Thanks again for your kind review, take care.
Comment from Zue65
The turns and twists in this post are getting intense which made your story more absorbing and interesting. I just hope Jackie will eventually prove his innocence in the end. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2018
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The turns and twists in this post are getting intense which made your story more absorbing and interesting. I just hope Jackie will eventually prove his innocence in the end. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2018
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Thank you so much for such a great review, I'm so glad you enjoyed it. There will be plenty of twists in the upcoming chapters. It'll be one heck of a journey.
Thank again for your kind review, take care.
Comment from royowen
Frenetic action in this, things are swing against poor old Janet and even the killer is being given a hard time by the motel owner. Janet has been rescued by a passing motorist, and even he hears about the murder where Janet was running. Great descriptive episode, well dine, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2018
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Frenetic action in this, things are swing against poor old Janet and even the killer is being given a hard time by the motel owner. Janet has been rescued by a passing motorist, and even he hears about the murder where Janet was running. Great descriptive episode, well dine, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 18-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2018
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Thank you so much for your kind review I'm so glad you liked it. Poor Janet can't seem to get a break, running from one bad situation to another.
Thank you again for all your support, take care.
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Most welcome
Comment from Ric Myworld
Those old memories just never seem to go away, and neither does the anger, resentment, and the need for justice. Kill the old bastard! LOL! Thanks for sharing the fun ride. :-)
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2018
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Those old memories just never seem to go away, and neither does the anger, resentment, and the need for justice. Kill the old bastard! LOL! Thanks for sharing the fun ride. :-)
Comment Written 18-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2018
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Thanks for your great review. With both the killer and Janet/Jackie facing their past those sob's better look out.
I actually was in the same room with a sexual predator this week. Not on purpose believe me. (Had to go to court over my dog. He and another got into a fight.) At the time I thought he was just a cocky SOB who gave off eerie vibes. I'm talking hair raising, bone chilling vibes. Eyes bore right through you. It's something I'll never forget. I later found out he's wanted for 26 counts of kidnapping, rape. Just thinking about him gives me chills.
Thanks again for all your support, take care.
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He molested your dog? LOL! Sorry, I just couldn't help myself. How in the hell can some monster with 26 counts of kidnapping and rape be on the streets? You had better keep your eyes open, that clown might be capable of anything. :-)
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He wasn't on the streets, he was brought up from the tombs, handcuffed shackled. They have to keep him in solitaire because the other prisoners want to kill him for what he did.
