Life Distilled
Rain washes reality away...32 total reviews
Comment from PoemsOfDD
Karenina, this is quite an interesting little ditty of a short poem. I like how this has a catchy feel to it with its short lines and descriptive words that rhyme perfectly. It portrays a scene that is chaotic, desperate and sad. A wrongful death and a prison sentence for a life taken concluding this piece. Very well done. ~DD
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2018
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Karenina, this is quite an interesting little ditty of a short poem. I like how this has a catchy feel to it with its short lines and descriptive words that rhyme perfectly. It portrays a scene that is chaotic, desperate and sad. A wrongful death and a prison sentence for a life taken concluding this piece. Very well done. ~DD
Comment Written 26-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2018
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Tales, poetic, of the muse' s dark side.....art imitating life?
Sadly, yes.
Thanks,
Karenina
Comment from MelB
Hi Karenina, this is a powerful poem you've written with excellent rhyme and flow. Fantastic artwork and use of alliteration. The last two lines really pack a punch.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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Hi Karenina, this is a powerful poem you've written with excellent rhyme and flow. Fantastic artwork and use of alliteration. The last two lines really pack a punch.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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With all the debate about gun control vs. better rd for mental illness I wanted to fuse the two.
Thanks,
Karenina
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi there;
Thank you for sharing this poignant work describing the craziness existing in the world. I wonder if 'he' wanted to die, too.
With the crumbling economy, we have seen more and more murder-suicides and I often wonder about the 'murders' of spouses. Was the other supposed to take their own lives and chickened out? How awful to spend the rest of your life in prison for doing your spouse a favor.
~patty~
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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Hi there;
Thank you for sharing this poignant work describing the craziness existing in the world. I wonder if 'he' wanted to die, too.
With the crumbling economy, we have seen more and more murder-suicides and I often wonder about the 'murders' of spouses. Was the other supposed to take their own lives and chickened out? How awful to spend the rest of your life in prison for doing your spouse a favor.
~patty~
Comment Written 21-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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They say the number one suspect in a murder is the spouse...
I think this is for good reason---they have motive and opportunity...
In my poetic mind I think yes, "he" wanted to die as well...
Insanity? Uncontrollable stress? Access to weapons?
It all contributes....
I thank you for your comments!
Karenina
Comment from Mrs. KT
Oh Karenina!
That is one messed up dude! Cold, heartless...and insane! Chilling to read, but it reads very well aloud! The reader came follow your subject's every move. And the last couplet:
He sits stoic in his cell,
rain does not extinguish hell... Well, that's an image almost as disturbing as those "flying monkeys!" :)
Well-crafted!
Thank you for sharing!
diane
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
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Oh Karenina!
That is one messed up dude! Cold, heartless...and insane! Chilling to read, but it reads very well aloud! The reader came follow your subject's every move. And the last couplet:
He sits stoic in his cell,
rain does not extinguish hell... Well, that's an image almost as disturbing as those "flying monkeys!" :)
Well-crafted!
Thank you for sharing!
diane
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
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Hah! I fear I have put those nasty flying monkeys in your skull! Be gone with those beasties!
(Smile)
Karenina
Comment from tony bronk
Does it even rain over hell? A very interesting, unique poem about blending away with the metaphoric rainfall. An excellent poem! Tony Baloney!
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
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Does it even rain over hell? A very interesting, unique poem about blending away with the metaphoric rainfall. An excellent poem! Tony Baloney!
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
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Have you ever hear the expression "raining hellfire?"---- I am not willing to go there to prove my point, let me just say it felt right in the moment.....
Thank you,
Karenina
Comment from estory
I like the use of meter here, the helter skelter beat of it, and the couplet format whirls like a demented merry go round of life. That last couplet, that last image, nails home the poem. It was the strongest part of it. We see this guy, consumed by guilt, unable to find redemption in the falling rain, the cleansing image, the possibility of cleansing. instead, he sits in that cell, condemning himself. It's really a powerful image there. estory
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
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I like the use of meter here, the helter skelter beat of it, and the couplet format whirls like a demented merry go round of life. That last couplet, that last image, nails home the poem. It was the strongest part of it. We see this guy, consumed by guilt, unable to find redemption in the falling rain, the cleansing image, the possibility of cleansing. instead, he sits in that cell, condemning himself. It's really a powerful image there. estory
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
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You seem tuned in to all my runny wet metaphors and that is most rewarding!
Thanks!
Karenina
Comment from lyenochka
Whoa! The poem is full of fun (and I thought) and happy meter - bouncy and full of internal rhymes and onomatopoeia (whirring, gasps, humming) but then the tension builds up and ends with a murder. Striking picture as well.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
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Whoa! The poem is full of fun (and I thought) and happy meter - bouncy and full of internal rhymes and onomatopoeia (whirring, gasps, humming) but then the tension builds up and ends with a murder. Striking picture as well.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
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Yes, thank you....I am not one to write of murder, real. Guess the Florida shooting got me thinking about guns mixing with insanity....
Karenina
Comment from jdrhye
This reads well...short and fast story in a poem form. Clever rhyme and the flow is good. Reads quick as in the minute style it was written. Enjoyed the read.
J
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
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This reads well...short and fast story in a poem form. Clever rhyme and the flow is good. Reads quick as in the minute style it was written. Enjoyed the read.
J
Comment Written 19-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
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Thank you. I truly appreciate your comments.
Karenina
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem about how rain can wash out colors and look blurry through the window. A deadly accident happens leaving one dead and the other in jail.
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2018
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A very well-written poem about how rain can wash out colors and look blurry through the window. A deadly accident happens leaving one dead and the other in jail.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2018
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Yes, rain as metaphor blurring the lines between madness and anger/ between anger and sanity/ between insanity and murder.....because this is the world we live in. Thank you, Karenina
Comment from Pantygynt
This is such a powerful statement about a troubled mind that ends in tragedy. It is amazing how sometimnes verbal economy works wonders in poetry as here. Only the salient features of the story are actually verbalised and yet we have a complete tragic story in this set in an atmosphere of pathetic fallacy that is actually mentioned as being totally pointless in the final line. I thought this was brilliantly done, hence the stars awarded.
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2018
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This is such a powerful statement about a troubled mind that ends in tragedy. It is amazing how sometimnes verbal economy works wonders in poetry as here. Only the salient features of the story are actually verbalised and yet we have a complete tragic story in this set in an atmosphere of pathetic fallacy that is actually mentioned as being totally pointless in the final line. I thought this was brilliantly done, hence the stars awarded.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2018
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Thank you very much. I am so pleased you and I are on the same wavelength regarding the pointless act of violence...with a nod toward the futility of trying to monitor insanity from afar. --Karenina
