Unleashed Chaos
Viewing comments for Chapter 50 "The Battle Begins/Part Three"A Novel of the Breedline Series
6 total reviews
Comment from ngage
Another action packed chapter, Shana! You have amazed me with your story and all the work you put into it and all the characters. You put a great deal of thought and time in each one. You are truly gifted. Never give up on your writing. Looking forward to your next post.
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2018
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Another action packed chapter, Shana! You have amazed me with your story and all the work you put into it and all the characters. You put a great deal of thought and time in each one. You are truly gifted. Never give up on your writing. Looking forward to your next post.
Comment Written 14-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2018
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Thank you, ngage :)
Your words kicked in my happiness this morning! Thanks for your fantastic support and encouraging words. You're the best!
Sincerely,
Shana :)
Comment from apky
The way you describe your battle scenes is breathtaking. I truly had trouble breathing and even now as I type, my fingers are both shaky and slippery! This is where you truly come into your element, lady.
Absolutely brilliant!
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He felt his incisors (grow? You need to add the verb in order to underscore the "feeling" of his tongue running over the incisors, I think) longer and sharper than before as he raked his tongue over his top lip.
(indent here)At the same time, Steven felt the blood drain from his face and a wave of nausea. His eyes shifted from their emerald green to a brilliant white as if the irises had turned into two glowing bright lights.
Which, considering he was on their side and they needed his help, (delete-that) was a good thing.
It was (as) if she simply had awakened by a magical force.
(move this farther to the left for a single indent) "Who is responsible for bringing us here?" Lilith demanded. "Tell me who has betrayed me."
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2018
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The way you describe your battle scenes is breathtaking. I truly had trouble breathing and even now as I type, my fingers are both shaky and slippery! This is where you truly come into your element, lady.
Absolutely brilliant!
******
He felt his incisors (grow? You need to add the verb in order to underscore the "feeling" of his tongue running over the incisors, I think) longer and sharper than before as he raked his tongue over his top lip.
(indent here)At the same time, Steven felt the blood drain from his face and a wave of nausea. His eyes shifted from their emerald green to a brilliant white as if the irises had turned into two glowing bright lights.
Which, considering he was on their side and they needed his help, (delete-that) was a good thing.
It was (as) if she simply had awakened by a magical force.
(move this farther to the left for a single indent) "Who is responsible for bringing us here?" Lilith demanded. "Tell me who has betrayed me."
Comment Written 13-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2018
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Thank you! :)
Great advice! I really love all your help. I wish I had you reading my chapters a long time ago. You do make a difference. This is a great learning experience. It will help me as I continue to write.
You have that special touch!
Thanks again dear friend!
Always your fan,
Shana :)
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That's the least I can do, and if it helps you in any way to be an even more awesome writer, then I'm a very happy woman for it.
Comment from Pamusart
I am not familiar with your characters. You have really vivid imagery and a great imagination. You developed the characters well. Thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2018
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I am not familiar with your characters. You have really vivid imagery and a great imagination. You developed the characters well. Thank you for sharing
Comment Written 12-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2018
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Thank you, Pamusart :)
I'm glad to hear you enjoyed the chapter. Hope to see you stop in for another Breedline adventure.
Sincerely,
Shana :)
Comment from prettybluebirds
Boy, there sure is a lot to this story. You must have put many hours of work and thought into bringing this about. I admire you for all you have done here. It's a great story.
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2018
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Boy, there sure is a lot to this story. You must have put many hours of work and thought into bringing this about. I admire you for all you have done here. It's a great story.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2018
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Thank you, prettybluebirds :)
Your awesome review put a skip in my step. It's good to hear from you again.
I do love writing this story and creating more adventures for my Breedline. So glad you enjoyed too! Stop in again, more to come.
Sincerely,
Shana :)
Comment from royowen
Such excellent descriptive scenes in this episode Shana, the imagery is very specky, the conflict is coming to a head, and the goodies are seemingly getting the upper hand, I hope the wounded Jsce is ok, but then he's got a healing. Your imagination is breathtakingly good dear girl, a privilege to read, something down my literary allie, superb episode blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2018
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Such excellent descriptive scenes in this episode Shana, the imagery is very specky, the conflict is coming to a head, and the goodies are seemingly getting the upper hand, I hope the wounded Jsce is ok, but then he's got a healing. Your imagination is breathtakingly good dear girl, a privilege to read, something down my literary allie, superb episode blessings, Roy
Comment Written 12-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2018
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Thank you dear friend :)
The book is getting close to an end. I think we have five more chapters to go. You've been such an inspiration to me for so long.
Always your fan,
Shana :)
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It's a great work dear Shana,
Comment from Sugarray77
You have developed a good format and storyline. I noticed that the tension is high strung and you support that well between characters. I appreciated the author's notes detailing who was who and a little history. Well done.
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2018
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You have developed a good format and storyline. I noticed that the tension is high strung and you support that well between characters. I appreciated the author's notes detailing who was who and a little history. Well done.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2018
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Thank you, Sugarray77 :)
So glad you mentioned the author's notes. I know it is more reading, but I always like to add that in case a new reader is interested. Thanks for mentioning that. :)
Hope to hear from you again. More Breedline adventures to come.
Sincerely,
Shana :)
