Comment from Joy Graham

Excellent

Hello Rhonda,

I'm jumping in to this story. I enjoyed the fantasy of this story. Love the names. I can picture it all quite nicely. You allow your readers to come in and experience it all. I'm not sure of the large man. I'm a slow reader and sometimes miss important parts. As I keep reading down the road I'll figure it out.

Joy xx

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2018

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reply by the author on 06-Mar-2018

No one knows who the big man is yet. He's just entered the scene in this chapter.

Thanks for reading, and reviewing. I do hope you stay with it. You haven't really missed a lot. The real action starts now.

Take care,
Rhonda

Comment from apky

Excellent

Hello Rhonda,

I think this has turned into fantasy, to my surprise, so I had to go back and check out the genre: yes, fantasy. I really had not come to that conclusion before.

At any rate, things are not only picking up but also getting dangerous. Would there be another knight to come to Nara's damsel in distress' rescue?

I'll have to wait till the next post in my inbox, won't I?

Oh, I simply love the artwork, Rhonda. Great work, who ever did these flying horses who aren't even depicted as unicorns.

"Not today, Looser," she screamed ~ do you to spell like that -Looser - instead of Loser?

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2018

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reply by the author on 06-Mar-2018

Thank you, Apky! Yes, it's been fantasy all along, with Piasa birds and Wampus cats, but that's just fringe fantasy. The real stuff is just now appearing.

Now about another Knight, I can't say yet, but she will certainly be missed back on the farm!

I love the artwork, too, and while it was a bit revealing, and let one of my surprises out, I couldn't pass it up.

I've fixed the mistakes, thanks so much for noticing. I'm notoriously bad with loose and lose. I also misspell lightning a lot. I did it once in here, too.

Again, much thanks,
Rhonda

Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

Hi Rhonda,

Big swing here firmly into the fantastical, from what had been hinted at before. Good imagery.

Old Buck, Lightening, whatever your name is- this may just be an inflection of voice but should it be Lightning here?

(as an aside, I would maybe rethink the picture as it sort of devalues the impact of the transformation)

"Not today, Looser," she screamed - Loser?

felt a tug on Lightning's hoove. She looked down to see an armored hand holding fast to the winged horse / drove a booted foot down on his hand - looking at the mechanics of the scene here. if the figure had a hold of Lightning's hoof (not hoove), Nara wouldn't have been able to remain seated normally as she stamped on his hand.

She struck again, and again, pouring out frustrations built up over a lifetime of neglect and abuse.- nice dripping in of backstory here.

of a second before loosening it.- loosing?

All the best
G

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2018

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reply by the author on 06-Mar-2018

Thank you for the brilliant and ever so helpful review!
Yes, I took the lunge into more fantasy I've been planning all along. As I've posted sporadically, it seems this comes well into the book, but in the real world of reading, it hasn't been that far in.
I knew you knew it was coming as I write fantasy, but I think I took a few others by surprise. I thought they would get the hint by using Piasa birds, and Wampus cats, but not so much, I guess.
You're totally right on the artwork being a give-a-way, but I couldn't resist as it was so appropriate. Again, in the real world, there won't be artwork, anyway.

I so appreciate your help and comments,
Rhonda

Comment from Mustang Patty

Excellent

Hi, Nancy;
Is this becoming a mystical, magical story? Did you tire of the western?

I hope Nara survives, and I surmise she will because she is the main character of the story. Will we learn about the children and the brothers?

Hmmm. You really have my curiosity on full alert,

~patty~

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 Comment Written 06-Mar-2018

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reply by the author on 06-Mar-2018

It's been fantasy all along, with the Piasa bird, Wampus cat, etc. I just took it to another level- one I've foreshadowed all along. Point is, it's hard to pull that off when you post every other week. haha. I'm trying to post more often.

Thanks so much for reading and commenting,
Rhonda

Comment from jppoet

Excellent

Hi, at the suggestions of two of your fans, this is my first read of your story and love it. You clearly have a literary gift, with good command of language and sound senses of dialogue, story-pace and suspense. Some writers forget to add a character list but you have one which gets us into new chapters if previously unread. Cant wait to read your next chapter.
Blessings, jppoet

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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2018

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reply by the author on 06-Mar-2018

Awww, I'm so excited and honored you've joined in. I thanked the two who mentioned me, whoever they are.
I do hope you'll continue.

Thanks for the review!
Rhonda