Pika
No where to run to, baby. No where to hide.72 total reviews
Comment from Writeling
Oh, yes a very potent narrative. Do you mean 'then' not 'than' in the second stanza?
I like the gloomy ending to secure your point:
'When climate changes fail to chill the sky,
the sun's increasing heat will kill this guy.'
With best wishes, Writeling
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2018
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Oh, yes a very potent narrative. Do you mean 'then' not 'than' in the second stanza?
I like the gloomy ending to secure your point:
'When climate changes fail to chill the sky,
the sun's increasing heat will kill this guy.'
With best wishes, Writeling
Comment Written 27-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2018
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Thank you, Writeling, for your encouraging review. I meant "than" in the second stanza, but another reviewer said I should use "rather than."
As for the gloomy ending, would you believe that the guitarist Jimi Hendrik's song "Purple Haze" inspired the closing couplet? His song contains a mondegreen--a phrase that people mishear as the result of a near homophone. When he sings "'Scuse me while I kiss the sky," some people mishear it as "'Scuse me while I kiss this guy." I decided to use this mondegreen as the closing rhyme in my couplet.
Thank you for your best wishes.
Comment from Heather Knight
I had never heard of pikas so your poem and your notes have been very instructive.
I like it when poetry helps me learn something new.
Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
P.S. Why did you write nowhere as two words?
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2018
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I had never heard of pikas so your poem and your notes have been very instructive.
I like it when poetry helps me learn something new.
Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
P.S. Why did you write nowhere as two words?
Comment Written 27-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2018
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Thank you, Maria, for your review and for wishing me good luck in the contest. I'm glad you learned something new. As for "nowhere," it is nowhere to be found in my poem either as one word or two. Thanks again.
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Yes, Andre you wrote no where in the explanation below the title. Not that it matters. Take care.
Comment from Pantygynt
A strange subject for a sonnet but perfectly valid nonetheless. One learns all sorts of strange new things in the company of poets who roam internationally as here. This animal and his sad predicament were completely unknown to me before today. Thank you for this educational sonnet.
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2018
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A strange subject for a sonnet but perfectly valid nonetheless. One learns all sorts of strange new things in the company of poets who roam internationally as here. This animal and his sad predicament were completely unknown to me before today. Thank you for this educational sonnet.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2018
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Thank you, Jim, for your glowing review. Many have found my sonnet educational as they learn something new.
Comment from charlene7190
Very clever and well written. There is nothing I see that should be corrected but I am not a professional, I am a student and reading those that are professional helps me. I enjoyed this a great deal.
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2018
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Very clever and well written. There is nothing I see that should be corrected but I am not a professional, I am a student and reading those that are professional helps me. I enjoyed this a great deal.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2018
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Thank you, Charlene, for your review. I'm glad you enjoyed reading my poem.
Comment from Mark Valentine
I like how your sonnet focused on the pika is also a commentary the larger issue of climate change. Educational and well-written. Nice use of enjambment throughout the sonnet. The iambic pentameter is flawless and the last couplet packs a punch that drives home your point.
Superb!
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2018
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I like how your sonnet focused on the pika is also a commentary the larger issue of climate change. Educational and well-written. Nice use of enjambment throughout the sonnet. The iambic pentameter is flawless and the last couplet packs a punch that drives home your point.
Superb!
Comment Written 27-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2018
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Yes, yes, yes, Mark, four years ago I wrote a sweeping poem about climate change in which I talked about declining salmon, decreasing snow, and collapsing levees, but I could not squeeze the pika into my poem. In February I decided to write a poem about the pika to serve as "a commentary the larger issue of climate change."
Thanks for noting my use of enjambment. No one speaks in ten-syllable lines, but by using enjambment, I create lines that flow more easily and naturally. This also enhances my flexibility of my rhymes.
Would you believe that the guitarist Jimi Hendrik's song "Purple Haze" inspired the closing couplet? His song contains a mondegreen--a phrase that people mishear as the result of a near homophony. When he sings "'Scuse me while I kiss the sky," some people mishear it as "'Scuse me while I kiss this guy." I decided to use this mondegreen as the closing rhyme in my couplet.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
What a cute little creature. Too bad man's attempt to control everything is killing the little animal. Your poem is great in rhymes, flow, & message Sis Cat. One day this could be man--nowhere to go since he has destroyed the Earth. Thanks for sharing & caring. Jan
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2018
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What a cute little creature. Too bad man's attempt to control everything is killing the little animal. Your poem is great in rhymes, flow, & message Sis Cat. One day this could be man--nowhere to go since he has destroyed the Earth. Thanks for sharing & caring. Jan
Comment Written 27-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2018
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Yes, Jan, scientists have been doing surveys of the whereabouts and numbers of pikas since the 1930s. When they did the latest survey, they found that pikas have become extinct at 44% of the habitats where they once lived, while the survivors have moved 900 feet upslope. Some mountains are not tall enough for the pikas to escape to cooler climes, so the entire population on the mountain has been wiped out. Someday, it could be man climbing the mountains, seeking cooler climes. Thank you for your review.
Comment from royowen
Such a tragic thing Andre, I suppose we can expect more of the same, I never knew of this particular bloke. But you've expressed this arlarm in thing very well in your arculately scribed and expressed in very smooth pentametric sonnet rhyming Ababcdcdefefgg, deftly crafted and honed, well done, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2018
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Such a tragic thing Andre, I suppose we can expect more of the same, I never knew of this particular bloke. But you've expressed this arlarm in thing very well in your arculately scribed and expressed in very smooth pentametric sonnet rhyming Ababcdcdefefgg, deftly crafted and honed, well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 27-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2018
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Yes, Roy, scientists have been doing surveys of the whereabouts and numbers of pikas since the 1930s. When they did the latest survey, they found that pikas have become extinct at 44% of the habitats where they once lived, while the survivors have moved 900 feet upslope. Some mountains are not tall enough for the pikas to escape to cooler climes, so the entire population on the mountains have been wiped out.
Thank you for your review of my "deftly crafted" sonnet. Blessings to you, too.
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That's sad
Comment from jenintorre
I really like this poem. "Increasing heat will kill this guy". I just love that last line.
This is an excellent rhyming poem it is also very informative and quite sad.
I wish you good luck in the competition. Best wishes Jen.
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2018
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I really like this poem. "Increasing heat will kill this guy". I just love that last line.
This is an excellent rhyming poem it is also very informative and quite sad.
I wish you good luck in the competition. Best wishes Jen.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2018
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Thank you, Jen, for your generous review. I am glad you really like my informative although sad poem.
Would you believe that the guitarist Jimi Hendrik's song "Purple Haze" inspired "Increasing heat will kill this guy"? His song contains a mondegreen--a phrase that people mishear as the result of a near homophony. When he sings "'Scuse me while I kiss the sky," some people mishear it as "'Scuse me while I kiss this guy." I decided to use this mondegreen as the closing rhyme in my couplet.
Thanks for the good luck and best wishes in the contest, too.
Comment from rama devi
So sad how many animals are going extinct due to human greed and ignorance. Thanks for writing this. It highlights the issue in a personal, vivid manner. Bravo. Wish I had a six.
This is eloquent, well rhymed and timed and has fine phonetics in phrasing,. Great to read aloud, especially this stanza:
The ball of fur appears to roll than hop.
From rock to rock, he gathers summer sedge
and dries his store of winter food atop
a stack of hay to give his life an edge.
Superb phonetics with S, R, L and M sounds:
At lower elevations, glaciers melt
and won't return. Sierra summers grow.
Impacting closing couplet...perfect ending note--effective:
When climate changes fail to chill the sky,
the sun's increasing heat will kill this guy.
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2018
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So sad how many animals are going extinct due to human greed and ignorance. Thanks for writing this. It highlights the issue in a personal, vivid manner. Bravo. Wish I had a six.
This is eloquent, well rhymed and timed and has fine phonetics in phrasing,. Great to read aloud, especially this stanza:
The ball of fur appears to roll than hop.
From rock to rock, he gathers summer sedge
and dries his store of winter food atop
a stack of hay to give his life an edge.
Superb phonetics with S, R, L and M sounds:
At lower elevations, glaciers melt
and won't return. Sierra summers grow.
Impacting closing couplet...perfect ending note--effective:
When climate changes fail to chill the sky,
the sun's increasing heat will kill this guy.
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 27-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2018
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Oh, thank you, Rama, for your detailed and passionate review. Many reviewers have become informed and alarmed by the extinction of pikas on mountains that are not high enough for them to flee to cooler climes.
I am glad you found my closing couplet impacting. Would you believe that the guitarist Jimi Hendrik's song "Purple Haze" inspired it? His song contains a mondegreen--a phrase that people mishear as the result of a near homophone. When he sings "'Scuse me while I kiss the sky," some people mishear it as "'Scuse me while I kiss this guy." I decided to use this mondegreen as the closing rhyme in my couplet.
Thanks for your warm wishes.
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That's an amazing song. Always heard it as sky! :-0)))
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written rhyming poem and introducing the reader to the Pika. This rabbit-like creature seems not very well-known by many. It seems that the poet knows the habits of this little animal well.
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2018
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A very well-written rhyming poem and introducing the reader to the Pika. This rabbit-like creature seems not very well-known by many. It seems that the poet knows the habits of this little animal well.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2018
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Yes, Sandra, I did a lot of reading about the Pika to write this poem. Now I wish I had climbed Mount Rainier or Mount Shasta to see one before pikas disappear. Thank you for your review of my informative poem.
