Pika
No where to run to, baby. No where to hide.72 total reviews
Comment from Treischel
Not only a rhymed poem for this contest, but an English Sonnet. Loved your poetic description of this animal, and how you blended in the concern for its extinction, due to global warming. Well chosen rhymes. Wonderfful iambic pentameter. Best of luck in this contest.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2018
  |
Not only a rhymed poem for this contest, but an English Sonnet. Loved your poetic description of this animal, and how you blended in the concern for its extinction, due to global warming. Well chosen rhymes. Wonderfful iambic pentameter. Best of luck in this contest.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2018
-
Thank you, Treischel, for your generous, six star review. In my draft, I used a "scaffolding" of lowercase unstressed syllables and uppercase stressed syllables to locate the stressed and unstressed syllables in my poem with the help of the website How Many Syllables? Once I completed the poem, I took down the "scaffolding," leaving a "wonderful iambic pentameter."
Comment from dmt1967
I like the picture but wonder if this poem is about the creature, a man trapped in a snow drift or something more sinister? I like it anyway. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2018
 |
I like the picture but wonder if this poem is about the creature, a man trapped in a snow drift or something more sinister? I like it anyway. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2018
-
Thank you for your review, dmt1967. My poem is about the creature, but if the pika becomes extinct, so will man. Thanks again.
Comment from MercurySeven
And I just had a horrible vision of this guy being the last pika! Such a shame for these wily critters - they can improvise so well, survive so much, but not the rising temperatures. They just aren't built for it. You described their tenuous plight so well here in perfect sonnet form. The enjambment worked a treat, especially:
A tailless kin
to hares, -- love the sly word play there
And this was my favourite stanza; it has great symmetry in design and content, as well as being emotional in its matter-of-factness (which you carry through to the final couplet):
At lower elevations, glaciers melt
and won't return. Sierra summers grow.
At higher elevations, showers pelt
this chap. His drooping head awaits the snow.
Really nice work, Andre. You're as good at formal verse as you are at free style. Hope you place well in the contest with this.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2018
|
And I just had a horrible vision of this guy being the last pika! Such a shame for these wily critters - they can improvise so well, survive so much, but not the rising temperatures. They just aren't built for it. You described their tenuous plight so well here in perfect sonnet form. The enjambment worked a treat, especially:
A tailless kin
to hares, -- love the sly word play there
And this was my favourite stanza; it has great symmetry in design and content, as well as being emotional in its matter-of-factness (which you carry through to the final couplet):
At lower elevations, glaciers melt
and won't return. Sierra summers grow.
At higher elevations, showers pelt
this chap. His drooping head awaits the snow.
Really nice work, Andre. You're as good at formal verse as you are at free style. Hope you place well in the contest with this.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2018
-
Thank you, MercurySeven, for your generous, detailed review. You inspire me, and I am honored by the analysis of a poet of your caliber. Thanks also for wishing me well in the contest.
-
You're welcome!
Comment from Rasmine
I need to give a six, Sis Cat, you did great in this poem. I wish you all of the luck on this warming planet to win this contest! Go get 'em!
Keep writing
Nome
PS All the luck to the Pikas.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2018
|
I need to give a six, Sis Cat, you did great in this poem. I wish you all of the luck on this warming planet to win this contest! Go get 'em!
Keep writing
Nome
PS All the luck to the Pikas.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2018
-
Yes, Nome, the Pikas will need more luck than we. Maybe we all need it, because if it becomes too hot for Pikas in the alpine regions, there will be no snow melt or glaciers to quench the thirst of our civilizations downstream.
Thank you for your generous, six star review.
Comment from jlsavell
Andre,
I am so taken by this poem. Your title is most fitting. My son and I, who is a conservationist, were talking about such things last night. I saw your poem and we talked of the Pika..heartwrenching.
Pika is just one of the many examples of man's irresponsible folly, but you are right about the indicators here.
Rachel Carson in "Silent Spring" knew far to well the major impact we as humans would have on our planet..
wish I had a six and hope to read more. Hope you are doing a series..
thank you for sharing...
jimi
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2018
|
Andre,
I am so taken by this poem. Your title is most fitting. My son and I, who is a conservationist, were talking about such things last night. I saw your poem and we talked of the Pika..heartwrenching.
Pika is just one of the many examples of man's irresponsible folly, but you are right about the indicators here.
Rachel Carson in "Silent Spring" knew far to well the major impact we as humans would have on our planet..
wish I had a six and hope to read more. Hope you are doing a series..
thank you for sharing...
jimi
Comment Written 27-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2018
-
Thank you, Jimi, for your review and for inspiring me. I completed Aldo's The Sand County Almanac and Dan Flores' American Serengeti which inspired my write. Rachel Carson is next. Yes, I will be doing a series of ecological poems. Thank you for your book recommendations.
Comment from TPAC
I found this write smooth in its structuring read, poetic flow in its given line composition, in my opinion making the work pleasing in presentation. All in my opinion of this write.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2018
|
I found this write smooth in its structuring read, poetic flow in its given line composition, in my opinion making the work pleasing in presentation. All in my opinion of this write.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2018
-
Thank you, TPAC, for your generous, detailed review. I appreciate it. I'm glad you found my poem pleasing.
Comment from Sharon Haiste
This is a good entry for the Rhyming Poem writing contest.
Your verse has a clear story about the pika and is well rhymed.
Well done, and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2018
|
This is a good entry for the Rhyming Poem writing contest.
Your verse has a clear story about the pika and is well rhymed.
Well done, and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
Comment Written 27-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2018
-
Thank you, Sharon, for your generous review and for wishing me good luck in the contest. I appreiciate it.
Comment from pome lover
well that was interesting - didn't know about the pika.
thought it was a word I'd heard somewhere along the way meaning someone who reneged on a bet or promise, or was stingy, or some such thing.
I hope this little fella doesn't become extinct. He's kinda cute - but to your poem, it has good meter and rhyme and imparts interesting facts. well done.
Katharine - pome lover
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2018
|
well that was interesting - didn't know about the pika.
thought it was a word I'd heard somewhere along the way meaning someone who reneged on a bet or promise, or was stingy, or some such thing.
I hope this little fella doesn't become extinct. He's kinda cute - but to your poem, it has good meter and rhyme and imparts interesting facts. well done.
Katharine - pome lover
Comment Written 27-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2018
-
Yes, Katharine, the pika is kinda cute. Doubtless, a lot of people learned within six hours what happened when they tried bringing pikas down from alpine mountains. They are becoming extinct on the lower elevations of mountains throughout the rest while the rest have ranged 900 feet upward. By the end of this century, pikas in California will only inhabit Mount Shasta.
Thank you for your review and for noting my poem's rhyme, meter, and interesting facts.
Comment from RGstar
I new little about this animal, now a little more. I like the elevation here through the stages.
A nice write. Educational, as giving.
My best, my friend.
RG
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2018
|
I new little about this animal, now a little more. I like the elevation here through the stages.
A nice write. Educational, as giving.
My best, my friend.
RG
Comment Written 27-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2018
-
Thank you, RG, for your review. A lot of reviewers have found my poem educational because they learned something new.
Comment from LIJ Red
The pika is the worst case, but it won't take much temp rise for old people and dogs to begin to suffer in many parts of the world. Now I read that many scientists fear too much damage is done, and there is no stopping the warming. Excellent poem, much needed message
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2018
|
The pika is the worst case, but it won't take much temp rise for old people and dogs to begin to suffer in many parts of the world. Now I read that many scientists fear too much damage is done, and there is no stopping the warming. Excellent poem, much needed message
Comment Written 27-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2018
-
Yes, LIJ Red, if it gets too hot for pikas at the 7,000 foot level, what is happening to temperatures for humans closer to sea level? A lot of people worldwide rely upon snow pack and glaciers in the mountains to provide them with water. What will they do for water if it is too warm to snow? My fear is that it may be too late to halt the changes that are happening.
Thank you for your review and concerns.
