Pika
No where to run to, baby. No where to hide.72 total reviews
Comment from Cedar
Thank you for educating me on this furry little fellow. I didn't know there was such an animal. I'm from southeastern America, so this little fellow must live in the west.
You told this story about the Pika with perfect rhyming. I wish you good luck in the contest...Bill
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2018
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Thank you for educating me on this furry little fellow. I didn't know there was such an animal. I'm from southeastern America, so this little fellow must live in the west.
You told this story about the Pika with perfect rhyming. I wish you good luck in the contest...Bill
Comment Written 28-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2018
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Yes, Bill, the pika only lives in the western United States, but other mountainous regions around the world have their own. I am glad you found my perfectly rhymed poem educational. Thank you for your review and for wishing me good luck in the contest.
Comment from Mastery
Hello Aandre! So good to be back and reading your fine works. I hate to admit this but here I am at 78 years old and never heard of this critter until today via your poem. I imagine people who live out west have always known about them. and how unusual is it that their bodies need such temps in order to survive? Bless you my friend. Bob
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2018
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Hello Aandre! So good to be back and reading your fine works. I hate to admit this but here I am at 78 years old and never heard of this critter until today via your poem. I imagine people who live out west have always known about them. and how unusual is it that their bodies need such temps in order to survive? Bless you my friend. Bob
Comment Written 28-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2018
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Bob, I am thrilled to here from you again and gladdened by your return. The last we spoke, you were experiencing a heath challenge.
I did not know about this critter until a couple of years ago when I was writing a poem about global warming and this critter's name popped up as an indicator species for climate change. I decided against using it in my "Dry" poem then, but when I wanted to revise the poem this week, the thought occurred to me to write a new poem about the pika alone. They are so sensitive to temps that they have become extinct at lower elevations.
I do not write as much, but emphasize quality over quantity. I still follow your advice to only promote high once I have written enough reviews and won enough contests. So I post twice a month.
It is so good to hear from you again, and I will fan you if I have not done so already. Welcome back, and I hope all is well with you.
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Bless you, my friend. I enjoy ALL of your writing. :) Bob
Comment from CD Richards
Firstly, fantastic job on a delightful and informative poem. I'd never heard of this critter before. He is very cute. Also, perfect rhyme and meter. I do have a suggestion you might wish to consider...
This line:
The ball of fur appears to roll than hop.
sounds wrong to me. Perhaps it's one of those things where a certain phrasing is acceptable in one country, and not another, but I've been taught it should be:
The ball of fur appears to roll rather than hop, or alternatively,
The ball of fur appears to roll instead of hop.
But that would throw your syllable count out, so I'd suggest perhaps something like:
This chap appears to roll rather than hop.
Anyway, it's just a suggestion, feel free to use it or not :)
Good job with this, and best of luck in the contest.
Craig
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2018
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Firstly, fantastic job on a delightful and informative poem. I'd never heard of this critter before. He is very cute. Also, perfect rhyme and meter. I do have a suggestion you might wish to consider...
This line:
The ball of fur appears to roll than hop.
sounds wrong to me. Perhaps it's one of those things where a certain phrasing is acceptable in one country, and not another, but I've been taught it should be:
The ball of fur appears to roll rather than hop, or alternatively,
The ball of fur appears to roll instead of hop.
But that would throw your syllable count out, so I'd suggest perhaps something like:
This chap appears to roll rather than hop.
Anyway, it's just a suggestion, feel free to use it or not :)
Good job with this, and best of luck in the contest.
Craig
Comment Written 28-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2018
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Thank you, Craig, for your review, contest well wishes, and suggestion. It would take some tinkering to rework this, but I love the image of a ball of fur rolling like a ball of yarn. I'll see.
I am glad you found my poem delightful and informative.
Comment from dragonpoet
This sonnet tells the day to day life this pika. It is scary how the sun kills this guy so fast. When I saw the picture, I thought of a prairie dog warning of danger.
Keep writing
Joan
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2018
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This sonnet tells the day to day life this pika. It is scary how the sun kills this guy so fast. When I saw the picture, I thought of a prairie dog warning of danger.
Keep writing
Joan
Comment Written 28-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2018
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Thank you, Joan, for your cheerful review of my sonnet. While not a prairie dog, the pika is warning of danger of global warming. By the end of this century at the present pace, California's pikas will only live on the 14,000 foot Mount Shasta. I'll keep writing.
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You're welcome. Maybe he should warn the White House of his species possibly becoming endangered.
Joan
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Yes, Joan, I looked to the EPA website for information on global warming but Trump had the site swiped clean of references to it.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was really interesting, I'd never heard of the Pika before. I can see why they are becoming extinct, but if it's as cold where they are living now as it is here in England, he'll be fine for a bit longer. I enjoyed reading you ABAB poem, too, about this little chappie, he looks so cute too. This is a lovely entry to the rhyming contest, Good luck! Sandra xx
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2018
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That was really interesting, I'd never heard of the Pika before. I can see why they are becoming extinct, but if it's as cold where they are living now as it is here in England, he'll be fine for a bit longer. I enjoyed reading you ABAB poem, too, about this little chappie, he looks so cute too. This is a lovely entry to the rhyming contest, Good luck! Sandra xx
Comment Written 28-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2018
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Oh, thank you, Shandra, for your cheerful review and contest good luck. In California alone, within the past decades pikas have become extinct in 9 out of 25 mountain habitats. By the end of this century, they will only live on the 14,000 Mount Shasta.
Comment from Pamusart
I also write and paint a lot about climate change, endangered animals and conservation. So, we have similar concerns. This is a poignant portrait of wildlife in danger. Man's influence in destroying the world is paramount. Thank you for sharing. Best of luck with this poem.
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2018
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I also write and paint a lot about climate change, endangered animals and conservation. So, we have similar concerns. This is a poignant portrait of wildlife in danger. Man's influence in destroying the world is paramount. Thank you for sharing. Best of luck with this poem.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2018
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Thank you, Pamusart, for your generous review of my ecological poem about climate change. I appreciate your shared concerns.
Comment from James H. Oldfield
Lovely, a very well handled sonnet.
I wasn't familiar with the pika, or it's significance as an indicator of climate change, very interesting and a well chosen subject.
Best of luck in the contest, an excellent entry.
Take care.
-James
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2018
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Lovely, a very well handled sonnet.
I wasn't familiar with the pika, or it's significance as an indicator of climate change, very interesting and a well chosen subject.
Best of luck in the contest, an excellent entry.
Take care.
-James
Comment Written 28-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2018
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Thank you, James, for your generous review and contest well wishes. I first considered using a pika as the subject of a global warming poem six years ago, but couldn't make it work in the poem I created then. In February when I attempted to revise the poem, I opted instead to write a new poem on the pika alone to represent a bigger picture of climate change. thanks again.
Comment from Jeffrey L. Michaux
I like this! I always enjoy reading poems about furry little creatures among other things. You described the activities of the pika very well. You've done a great job in writing this and educating the reader about the pika. Well done.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2018
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I like this! I always enjoy reading poems about furry little creatures among other things. You described the activities of the pika very well. You've done a great job in writing this and educating the reader about the pika. Well done.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2018
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Thank you, Jeffrey, for your review. I am glad you found my poem educational about the furry little pika.
Comment from Gloria ....
What an adorable little animal the pika is, even though he looks like he might have a good strong bite.
I very enjoyed learning about its habitat and behaviour and very sad to learn that climate change will sorely reduce its numbers.
Thank you for sharing.
Gloria
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2018
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What an adorable little animal the pika is, even though he looks like he might have a good strong bite.
I very enjoyed learning about its habitat and behaviour and very sad to learn that climate change will sorely reduce its numbers.
Thank you for sharing.
Gloria
Comment Written 28-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2018
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Yes, Gloria, scientists had been studying these critters for decades. In the past decades, the pikas have moved 900 feet upslope while those populations in lower elevations have become extirpated.
Thank you for your review. I am glad you enjoyed learning something in my poem.
Comment from krys123
Cheers, Andre';
-I've never heard of this cute little animal before and delightful creature is the Pika. Looks more like a large mouse or field mouse.
-I really enjoyed and was very entertaining with your choice of formatting sonnet for writing this extremely Interesting sonnet. Why I say this than a normal Shakespearean or English sonnets to refer to's romantic sonnets, for the most part. I would've suggested a Petrarchan sonnet, And that is set up for this particular type of genre. As in this sonnet your third verse or rebuttal verse, and your particular voice is not subject to this. However I've seen many sonnets written like this in this particular genre.
-Now to the point of your poem which was perfectly written and iambic pentameter where each of the rhyming words were contingent and supportive to the meaning and concept of each and every line therefore making the rhythm of your poem flow smoothly.
-Good uses of definitive expressionism and discreet demonstrative descriptiveness help formulate and create images necessary to promote the conceptual theme.
-Good couplet at the end to summarize the conceptual theme and the enjambment which flowed smoothly. "When climate changes fail to chill the sky,
the sun's increasing heat will kill this guy."
-Thanks for sharing this, Andre', and take care and have a good one my friend especially with all those that love you dearly.
Alex
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2018
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Cheers, Andre';
-I've never heard of this cute little animal before and delightful creature is the Pika. Looks more like a large mouse or field mouse.
-I really enjoyed and was very entertaining with your choice of formatting sonnet for writing this extremely Interesting sonnet. Why I say this than a normal Shakespearean or English sonnets to refer to's romantic sonnets, for the most part. I would've suggested a Petrarchan sonnet, And that is set up for this particular type of genre. As in this sonnet your third verse or rebuttal verse, and your particular voice is not subject to this. However I've seen many sonnets written like this in this particular genre.
-Now to the point of your poem which was perfectly written and iambic pentameter where each of the rhyming words were contingent and supportive to the meaning and concept of each and every line therefore making the rhythm of your poem flow smoothly.
-Good uses of definitive expressionism and discreet demonstrative descriptiveness help formulate and create images necessary to promote the conceptual theme.
-Good couplet at the end to summarize the conceptual theme and the enjambment which flowed smoothly. "When climate changes fail to chill the sky,
the sun's increasing heat will kill this guy."
-Thanks for sharing this, Andre', and take care and have a good one my friend especially with all those that love you dearly.
Alex
Comment Written 28-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2018
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Oh, thank you, Alex, for giving my poem its most detailed analysis. I appreciate it. I had considered a Petrarchan sonnet at one point but fell back on my tried and true English sonnet.
Using the website "How Many Syllables?" which pointed out the location of stressed and unstressed syllables in words, I wrote my iambic pentameter by constructing a scaffolding of lowercase unstressed syllables and uppercase stressed syllables. Once I finished my poem, I dismantled my scaffolding and wrote my poem with regular cases.
Would you believe that the guitarist Jimi Hendrik's song "Purple Haze" inspired the closing couplet? His song contains a mondegreen--a phrase that people mishear as the result of a near homophony. When he sings "'Scuse me while I kiss the sky," some people mishear it as "'Scuse me while I kiss this guy." I decided to use this mondegreen as the closing rhyme in my couplet.
Thank you very much for your detailed review, your support of my writing, and for your example as an exemplary poet.
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Hi, Andre'; I kinda smiled as I read your reply as all the tediousness that you apply to writing your sonnet. I used to do that a lot and still do at times.
You did an excellent job I just think the format would've been better with the Petrarchan and or even with the Specerian. Good luck my friend and take care and a lot of lemon and honey for your throat.
Alex
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Yes, Alex, I need to become more knowledgeable of other sonnet forms so I can match one according to the subject. Thanks.
Andre
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I never knew that either, Andre', until I took a few courses on sonnets at Fanstory. c'est la vie
Alex
