The Bower
A sonnet12 total reviews
Comment from Mrs. KT
Oh my goodness!
Just a beautiful sonnet. Of course, chickadees are my favorite birds; they definitely should be Michigan's state bird...but I digress. Your sonnet weaves such wonderful images as it draws the reader in to the sentiments expressed. How I long for spring and summertime! Thank you for sharing!
diane
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2018
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Oh my goodness!
Just a beautiful sonnet. Of course, chickadees are my favorite birds; they definitely should be Michigan's state bird...but I digress. Your sonnet weaves such wonderful images as it draws the reader in to the sentiments expressed. How I long for spring and summertime! Thank you for sharing!
diane
Comment Written 20-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2018
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Thank you very much!
Comment from Ulla
I would have loved to give this a six, but I've given them all away already this week. I'm surrounded by nature where I live, so I can easily identify with your lovely poem. It has not only great rhyming but also great alliteration. A wonderful work. All the best. Ulla:))
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2018
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I would have loved to give this a six, but I've given them all away already this week. I'm surrounded by nature where I live, so I can easily identify with your lovely poem. It has not only great rhyming but also great alliteration. A wonderful work. All the best. Ulla:))
Comment Written 20-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2018
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Thanks so much Ulla. I appreciate your wonderful comments. I love the botanical too.
Comment from Dean Kuch
Good end rhyme, alliteration and use of iambic pentameter make this sonnet entry for the contest a delight to read, Sugarray77.
Well done!
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2018
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Good end rhyme, alliteration and use of iambic pentameter make this sonnet entry for the contest a delight to read, Sugarray77.
Well done!
Comment Written 20-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2018
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Thank you Dean. I appreciate your great review. Melissa
Comment from Benny Beeharry
Hi this is an absolutely brilliant write which I really love. I am a grea devotee of nature and I can luckily see through the all the words and expressions as they come one after another dripping with sheer beauty,
Brilliant.
Danny Jock
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2018
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Hi this is an absolutely brilliant write which I really love. I am a grea devotee of nature and I can luckily see through the all the words and expressions as they come one after another dripping with sheer beauty,
Brilliant.
Danny Jock
Comment Written 20-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2018
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Thanks so much Danny for your comments and stars! I really appreciate your great review!!
Comment from judiverse
Such beautiful artwork. This captures a moment in time, the chickadees are singing and the meadow is lush green. Interesting use of musical analogies with the violin strings, sonata, God's symphony. "Timeless sonata" is excellent as it suggests the memorable beauty of this place. Excellent format form and rhyme. Best of luck in the contest. judi
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2018
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Such beautiful artwork. This captures a moment in time, the chickadees are singing and the meadow is lush green. Interesting use of musical analogies with the violin strings, sonata, God's symphony. "Timeless sonata" is excellent as it suggests the memorable beauty of this place. Excellent format form and rhyme. Best of luck in the contest. judi
Comment Written 20-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2018
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Thank you so much. I really appreciate your comments and thoughts.
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You're very welcome. judi
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written sonnet about the beauty of Spring and the beautiful singing of birds in garden trees and over the planes until summertime when the birds feeding their brood.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2018
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A very well-written sonnet about the beauty of Spring and the beautiful singing of birds in garden trees and over the planes until summertime when the birds feeding their brood.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2018
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Thank you.
Comment from Gloria ....
This is an absolutely beautiful poem, sugar. Your opening stanza is magical and drew me right in.
The only thing is the contest requires iambic pentameter. So if you don't mind I have rearranged a few words in the first stanza to show that meter.
Small chickadee, please sing this summer's day,
as dappled shadows dance in bowers deep.
Shall you trill as violin strings play
And send to me your sweetest notes to keep?
I have used reverse syntax in the second line, but couldn't think of anything else. Bowers ends in an unstressed syllable. BOWers, so that would require 11 syllables and your fourth line to match. Anyway I'm not fond of getting "so clinical" but your poem is just too gorgeous to let it slip by without attention.
Love the artwork too.
Gloria
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2018
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This is an absolutely beautiful poem, sugar. Your opening stanza is magical and drew me right in.
The only thing is the contest requires iambic pentameter. So if you don't mind I have rearranged a few words in the first stanza to show that meter.
Small chickadee, please sing this summer's day,
as dappled shadows dance in bowers deep.
Shall you trill as violin strings play
And send to me your sweetest notes to keep?
I have used reverse syntax in the second line, but couldn't think of anything else. Bowers ends in an unstressed syllable. BOWers, so that would require 11 syllables and your fourth line to match. Anyway I'm not fond of getting "so clinical" but your poem is just too gorgeous to let it slip by without attention.
Love the artwork too.
Gloria
Comment Written 20-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2018
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Thank you very much Gloria. This is my first sonnet and I?m unsure of myself. I will change this and if you have any other suggestions, let me know. Thanks again.
Comment from PoemsOfDD
Sugarray77, this is a beautiful sonnet you have entered for the contest. It flows from a fledgling enjoying the summer's day to taking flight when grown and ready to move on. A fantastic picture to add to the visual of this well constructed sonnet. A pleasure to read. Best of luck in the competition. ~DD
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2018
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Sugarray77, this is a beautiful sonnet you have entered for the contest. It flows from a fledgling enjoying the summer's day to taking flight when grown and ready to move on. A fantastic picture to add to the visual of this well constructed sonnet. A pleasure to read. Best of luck in the competition. ~DD
Comment Written 20-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2018
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Thank you very much. It seems I need to make a revision to match the iambic pentameter. This is my first sonnet and I?m still learning. I appreciate your comments.
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We are all still learning Sugar ... as we must and I really enjoyed your beautiful sonnet. ~DD
Comment from Ricky1024
"The Bower" is a Spnnet contest Entree rich in Theme and imagery.
It flowed well and read well with no grammar issues as well.
Adjective Content was aligned well with Objective Content and Descriptive Measures aligned perfectly.
Good luck with this.
Dr Ricky 1024.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2018
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"The Bower" is a Spnnet contest Entree rich in Theme and imagery.
It flowed well and read well with no grammar issues as well.
Adjective Content was aligned well with Objective Content and Descriptive Measures aligned perfectly.
Good luck with this.
Dr Ricky 1024.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2018
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Thank you very much for your comments.
Comment from Kathy Allmon
That was beautiful. I can almost hear the birds singing. The print you chose was so beautiful. The poem flowed throughout and I couldn't find anything that I would change. Cant wait to read more of your posts.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2018
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That was beautiful. I can almost hear the birds singing. The print you chose was so beautiful. The poem flowed throughout and I couldn't find anything that I would change. Cant wait to read more of your posts.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2018
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Thank you for the good review and comments. I really appreciate it.
