Blackberrying
Blank Verse40 total reviews
Comment from frierajac
I especially like the way in which the word, 'mordant' is an emotional intention for the following stanza in which /friendship now that's crystallised in words./
Realizes such berry gathering's of the past in today's moment of reflection.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2018
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I especially like the way in which the word, 'mordant' is an emotional intention for the following stanza in which /friendship now that's crystallised in words./
Realizes such berry gathering's of the past in today's moment of reflection.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2018
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Many thanks for your response and for noticing the connection. Best wishes Tony.
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cheers
Comment from Jesse James Doty
What a wonderful and heartfelt story you told. The flow was nice and the descriptions were well done. Although it didn't rhyme, it read and sounded aloud like it did. Your choice of worlds was excellent. My favorite lines are the last three. "for in these pickings we were sealing bonds more firmly than the lids on jars of fruit, a friendship now that's crystallised in words." What a beautiful and lovely sentiment. The photo was well chosen and added to the storyline. This was a well crafted blank verse poem. Thanks for sharing.
Take care, Jesse
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2018
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What a wonderful and heartfelt story you told. The flow was nice and the descriptions were well done. Although it didn't rhyme, it read and sounded aloud like it did. Your choice of worlds was excellent. My favorite lines are the last three. "for in these pickings we were sealing bonds more firmly than the lids on jars of fruit, a friendship now that's crystallised in words." What a beautiful and lovely sentiment. The photo was well chosen and added to the storyline. This was a well crafted blank verse poem. Thanks for sharing.
Take care, Jesse
Comment Written 16-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2018
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Thanks, Jesse. Appreciated, as always. Best wishes Tony.
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You're welcome. It was a pleasure to read.
Jesse
Comment from estory
I thought this was terrific. It really is kind of in the ode form, a very conversational language, very personal. The musical elements were fantastic, lots of echoing alliterations and rhyme and off rhyme, and the images were stellar. you crystallized that moment in the blackberry patch with your friend, working through all kinds of adversity, insect swarms, the heat of the day. And you were rewarded with those sweet pots of blackberries that got handed out around to make jam. The process is the theme of this work, the work that went into this gift, and the joy you shared with your friend. It reminded me of Seamus Heaney's poem, Blackberry Picking from Death of a Naturalist. The same kind of musical voice, the conversational style, and the deep, heavy images that transcend the moment. Superb poem. estory
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2018
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I thought this was terrific. It really is kind of in the ode form, a very conversational language, very personal. The musical elements were fantastic, lots of echoing alliterations and rhyme and off rhyme, and the images were stellar. you crystallized that moment in the blackberry patch with your friend, working through all kinds of adversity, insect swarms, the heat of the day. And you were rewarded with those sweet pots of blackberries that got handed out around to make jam. The process is the theme of this work, the work that went into this gift, and the joy you shared with your friend. It reminded me of Seamus Heaney's poem, Blackberry Picking from Death of a Naturalist. The same kind of musical voice, the conversational style, and the deep, heavy images that transcend the moment. Superb poem. estory
Comment Written 16-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2018
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Thank you for this wonderful review. I read Heaney?s poem only last week and was perhaps subconsciously influenced by it.
Comment from jppoet
Congratulations, here we have another of your Tonyesque triumphs of
poetry! This time in Free Verse in demonstration of your artistic versatility.
The foto adds affable affinity to the joy and friendship of your words.
blessings, john
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2018
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Congratulations, here we have another of your Tonyesque triumphs of
poetry! This time in Free Verse in demonstration of your artistic versatility.
The foto adds affable affinity to the joy and friendship of your words.
blessings, john
Comment Written 16-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2018
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Hi, John. I seem to have struck a common chord with this one, dredging up memories and bringing forth personal anecdotes from several reviewers! I have taken up Pantygynt's advice and rearranged the lines into more coherent chunks, rather than into arbitrary quatrains. I have also made a few revisions to the central part of the poem which I hope improves it. Many thanks for your comments and review. The form of the poem is blank verse rather than free verse. Although blank verse is unrhymed, it follows a strict rhythm of iambic pentameter. All the best, Tony
Comment from nancy_e_davis
YUM! I do love blackberries and I served my time picking them for my mamma to make jelly for our morning toast. I hated the chiggers that accompanied the berries that dug deep beneath the skin and burned and itched like the devil! Mom had some magic potion for the bath that cured the itch.
Great poem Tony. Brought back memories. Nancy
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2018
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YUM! I do love blackberries and I served my time picking them for my mamma to make jelly for our morning toast. I hated the chiggers that accompanied the berries that dug deep beneath the skin and burned and itched like the devil! Mom had some magic potion for the bath that cured the itch.
Great poem Tony. Brought back memories. Nancy
Comment Written 16-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2018
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I seem to have struck a common chord with this one, dredging up memories and bringing forth personal anecdotes from several reviewers! I've not heard of chiggers before - they must be endemic to the United States! It sounds as if they are a most unpleasant form of spider mite!
Comment from Heather Knight
I think your poem is incredibly beautiful. You have turned something ordinary such as blackberry picking (well, maybe not so ordinary) into a beautiful text.
Thanks so much for sharing.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2018
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I think your poem is incredibly beautiful. You have turned something ordinary such as blackberry picking (well, maybe not so ordinary) into a beautiful text.
Thanks so much for sharing.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2018
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Very kind of you to say so, Maria, and thank you for your generous six star award. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello Tony!
How I wish I had a 6 star for your exceptional rendering. Your poem brings back so many memories of picking blackberries and blueberries with my father...and again as he picked these luscious berries with my children! Your visual imagery is so precise and emotive. A lovely poem that I hope you frame for Henry!
Best Wishes,
diane
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2018
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Hello Tony!
How I wish I had a 6 star for your exceptional rendering. Your poem brings back so many memories of picking blackberries and blueberries with my father...and again as he picked these luscious berries with my children! Your visual imagery is so precise and emotive. A lovely poem that I hope you frame for Henry!
Best Wishes,
diane
Comment Written 16-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2018
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I seem to have struck a common chord with this one, dredging up memories and bringing forth personal anecdotes from several reviewers! Henry was my uncle. I used to go blackberrying with him each year in late summer, in the Adelaide Hills. It became something of a ritual of adventure! He died about ten years ago at the grand old age of 99. His passing was as joyous as his living had always been. A heart attack shortly after dancing an Irish jig at the nursing home Christmas party.
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I do believe you need to write more about Henry! Sounds like a wonderful chap!
diane
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He was! I have written one or two other poems about him in the past and may well write more. He was a newspaper reporter in former times, covering the Spanish Civil War and the Nazi invasion of Greece, among other things.
Comment from Sis Cat
Wow, Tony, what a well-timed and well-executed poem that arrives when I am contemplating rewriting earlier poems into meter.
One thing I did which is mandatory for a poem of this caliber was to read it out loud to hear the musical sounds of its rhythm and music in my ears. They have the pace of a walk into the woods to go berrying.
Your details is exquisite:
remembering the purple stain of times
when Henry led me down from Beaconcliff
Your details create not only a picture but an emotion. Some of your lines made me feel the grandeur of the trees akin to the ancient Greek temples:
Their Doric columns soared and took our eyes
beyond the canopy that held our dreams,
Touching upon many senses, you describe taste, sound, touch, smell, and sight. This is a sensory poem:
. . . heavy scented eucalyptus leaves,
anointing all our sense with quietude.
Your ending is exquisite as you sum up eloquently the most important aspect of berrying with Henry:
for in these pickings we were sealing bonds
more firmly than the lids on jars of fruit,
A wonderful poem. Thank you for inspiring.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2018
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Wow, Tony, what a well-timed and well-executed poem that arrives when I am contemplating rewriting earlier poems into meter.
One thing I did which is mandatory for a poem of this caliber was to read it out loud to hear the musical sounds of its rhythm and music in my ears. They have the pace of a walk into the woods to go berrying.
Your details is exquisite:
remembering the purple stain of times
when Henry led me down from Beaconcliff
Your details create not only a picture but an emotion. Some of your lines made me feel the grandeur of the trees akin to the ancient Greek temples:
Their Doric columns soared and took our eyes
beyond the canopy that held our dreams,
Touching upon many senses, you describe taste, sound, touch, smell, and sight. This is a sensory poem:
. . . heavy scented eucalyptus leaves,
anointing all our sense with quietude.
Your ending is exquisite as you sum up eloquently the most important aspect of berrying with Henry:
for in these pickings we were sealing bonds
more firmly than the lids on jars of fruit,
A wonderful poem. Thank you for inspiring.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2018
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I seem to have struck a common chord with this one, dredging up memories and bringing forth personal anecdotes from several reviewers! I have taken up Jim's advice and rearranged the lines into more coherent chunks, rather than into arbitrary quatrains. I have also made a few revisions to the central part of the poem which I hope improves it.
Good luck with your rewriting. I quite often find that a poem that I initially jot down in free verse repays the effort of recasting it in metrical form. There are always some, though, that refuse to conform!
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Yeah, I know what you mean. I wrote a fourteen line rhymed poem years ago, but in looking at it today I determined that with a little effort, I can make it into a sonnet. Of course, there are poems you can?t force. I?ll see what happens. Thanks.
Comment from krys123
Cheers, Tony;
-Oh, how this brought back memories of my father and my brothers and friends got together to pick domestic raspberries. The phone was getting bit by the mosquitoes who used to lay the eggs in the do that collected underneath the leaves of the raspberry plants. And the briars and thorns left their warrior's mark that the battle of taking these berries came at a cost.
-Your poem was beautiful memory of the time when you pick blackberries was an enjoyment beyond compare. The imagery was descriptive enough to make one feel the expressiveness of the joy that was obtained by picking these blackberries.
-Thanks for an adventurous time while enjoying this journey and adventure picking blackberries.
-Thanks for sharing and take care and have a good one my friend.
Alex
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2018
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Cheers, Tony;
-Oh, how this brought back memories of my father and my brothers and friends got together to pick domestic raspberries. The phone was getting bit by the mosquitoes who used to lay the eggs in the do that collected underneath the leaves of the raspberry plants. And the briars and thorns left their warrior's mark that the battle of taking these berries came at a cost.
-Your poem was beautiful memory of the time when you pick blackberries was an enjoyment beyond compare. The imagery was descriptive enough to make one feel the expressiveness of the joy that was obtained by picking these blackberries.
-Thanks for an adventurous time while enjoying this journey and adventure picking blackberries.
-Thanks for sharing and take care and have a good one my friend.
Alex
Comment Written 16-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2018
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I seem to have struck a common chord with this one, dredging up memories and bringing forth personal anecdotes from several reviewers! I have taken up Jim's advice and rearranged the lines into more coherent chunks, rather than into arbitrary quatrains. I have also made a few revisions to the central part of the poem which I hope improves it. Many thanks for your comments and review. All the best, Tony
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Although back and take a look at it, Tony, and I think you got the right thing as of now.
Alex
Comment from damommy
This brought back memories of picking blackberries until it was too dark to see. Clothed in long sleeves and a hat, trying to avoid getting hung up by thorns. Still worth the effort. I made enough jam and preserves to last three years.
Your words made it sound as delightful as it was to do. I could hear the birds screeching. Bees were such a problem, but the mosquitos were. I took cats with me to watch out for snakes.
Beautiful poem.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2018
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This brought back memories of picking blackberries until it was too dark to see. Clothed in long sleeves and a hat, trying to avoid getting hung up by thorns. Still worth the effort. I made enough jam and preserves to last three years.
Your words made it sound as delightful as it was to do. I could hear the birds screeching. Bees were such a problem, but the mosquitos were. I took cats with me to watch out for snakes.
Beautiful poem.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2018
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I seem to have struck a common chord with this one, dredging up memories and bringing forth personal anecdotes from several reviewers! I have taken up Jim's advice and rearranged the lines into more coherent chunks, rather than into arbitrary quatrains. I have also made a few revisions to the central part of the poem which I hope improves it. Many thanks for your comments and review. We used to have a Siamese cat a few years ago, who was a great catcher of small snakes. We were always in some trepidation as both varieties commonly found here on the farm, the Eastern Brown and the Red Bellied Black, are exceedingly venomous. All the best, Tony
