The Cat and Mouse Game
An unsuspecting family is terrorized by unknown conspirators4 total reviews
Comment from Katie Solis
It was good, and I was able to read all the way through, but I felt a little let down number 1 that there really wasn't any blood, and number two that the story was left off as to be continued. Also I believed that you meant renowned and don't "pay" attention. I did enjoy the premise of this story and think it has real potential.
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It was good, and I was able to read all the way through, but I felt a little let down number 1 that there really wasn't any blood, and number two that the story was left off as to be continued. Also I believed that you meant renowned and don't "pay" attention. I did enjoy the premise of this story and think it has real potential.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2018
Comment from samantha0930
The story seems interesting, but so far, it's got nothing to do with the contest prompt, and you haven't even finished the story in the entry that you made to the contest, which makes it difficult to judge for the contest. Maybe in the continuation of the story it connects to the "bloody valentine" theme, but your contest entry does not. I feel like it may have done well had your contest entry had been finished.
Aside from that, you had dialogue from multiple characters in the same paragraph, which made it so that I had to re-read to figure out who was talking at which point in the paragraph. There were also several grammar mistakes.
It was turning out to be an interesting story, and I think I know what was going to happen, but it's a shame that it didn't work out as a contest entry.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2018
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The story seems interesting, but so far, it's got nothing to do with the contest prompt, and you haven't even finished the story in the entry that you made to the contest, which makes it difficult to judge for the contest. Maybe in the continuation of the story it connects to the "bloody valentine" theme, but your contest entry does not. I feel like it may have done well had your contest entry had been finished.
Aside from that, you had dialogue from multiple characters in the same paragraph, which made it so that I had to re-read to figure out who was talking at which point in the paragraph. There were also several grammar mistakes.
It was turning out to be an interesting story, and I think I know what was going to happen, but it's a shame that it didn't work out as a contest entry.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2018
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I'm pleased that you thought the story to be interesting, Samantha, but your other comments are largely unwarranted, exemplified by your first sentence that claims the story, as written, "has nothing to do with the contest prompt," not even a bloody doll.
Without giving a reason, you said you found chapter one to be difficult to judge, but that is your opinion.
I will not take issue with your opinions, but a fact is not a matter of opinion, and most of your "facts" are verifiably untrue.
You indicated that you thought the story itself was involving, so you didn't find the story, per se, to be a shortcoming.
I'm sure that most reasonable people would agree that a few punctuation errors alone, are not grounds for a punitive 3-star rating, and only valid reasons should determine a rating that low.
If, after re-reading my entry and re-evaluating your comments and rating, you choose to adjust them accordingly, it will be most appreciated.
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Yes, there was a "murdered doll", which I suppose might be frightening to the children, and creepy to the parents, but even if that's meant to be the focal point of the story--which I don't believe it's meant to be--there's still no mention of or reference to Valentine's Day, which is half of the prompt, since it's supposed to be about a "bloody valentine". In addition to that, I find it difficult to judge the story as a part of the contest when you posted an unfinished contest entry. The story may very well include the rest of the prompt in the other half/another part, but it was not in the work that you entered into the contest.
The writing mistakes I found were not just punctuation--there were more spelling mistakes than with punctuation, and I think just as many with capitalization. Outside of the grammar, you did not start new paragraphs in some places where you should have, which made it slightly confusing to read, and I had to go back and re-read to clarify what was going on. I did change the rating to 4 stars, since these errors are easy to fix should you actually choose to go back and fix them, which I saw when I re-read the story that you did not.
I hope this was able to clarify things a bit.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This speaks life is stranger than fiction, so is the story, appropriate is the title, even doll could, twisted mind does anything strangely dangerous; real people got harassed; well said, well done; thank you for sharing this with us; good luck with the contest. WRITE CHANGE. DR ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
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This speaks life is stranger than fiction, so is the story, appropriate is the title, even doll could, twisted mind does anything strangely dangerous; real people got harassed; well said, well done; thank you for sharing this with us; good luck with the contest. WRITE CHANGE. DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 12-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
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Thank you for taking the time to read and review my lengthy story, Dr. Alcreator.
Comment from jenintorre
I enjoyed reading your Bloody Valentine entry for the contest. The story is very intriguing and makes me want to know the outcome. You need to check through it as there are several typos. Good luck.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
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I enjoyed reading your Bloody Valentine entry for the contest. The story is very intriguing and makes me want to know the outcome. You need to check through it as there are several typos. Good luck.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
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Thank you, jenintorre, for taking the time to read and review my story, and for the compliments and heads-up.
I finished my after-posting editing, very shortly before getting your input, and I think I caught all of the many mistakes.
