My Bloody Valentine
Bloody Valentines' aren't always what they seemed to be.5 total reviews
Comment from Katie Solis
That was a nice story. You added a lot of descriptive wording that allowed for a mental picture to take place. I kept waiting for a dramatic moment, I think that you could have done a whole story on Chloe in the car and it would have been very interesting. The information about the lawyer is good for a longer book about her. Overall though the story gave me a happy feeling . Thank you
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2018
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That was a nice story. You added a lot of descriptive wording that allowed for a mental picture to take place. I kept waiting for a dramatic moment, I think that you could have done a whole story on Chloe in the car and it would have been very interesting. The information about the lawyer is good for a longer book about her. Overall though the story gave me a happy feeling . Thank you
Comment Written 14-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2018
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Thank you for your review.
Comment from samantha0930
At first I was starting to get confused because nothing bad was happening yet, and wondered when the contest prompt would come in, and got amused at the thought of the "bloody valentine" having to do with the Bloody Mary, since you said that bloody valentines aren't always what they seem to be. And then you mentioned the bloody valentine killing and thought the story would have something to do with that. But then you go on to also name the red velvet cake and the martini bloody valentines, which is where I started to get a little bit annoyed, since you just seemed to be throwing the phrase in and using blood/bloody as adjectives to things just to try to get it to fit the theme. I did like the story, but you just seemed to be trying a little too hard to fit "bloody valentine" into the story without the story being violent and horror themed. I think I would have really liked if my first thought of Valentine's Day being all about Bloody Mary's was how it turned out :P I feel as if it would have been amusing.
I almost forgot to mention: You shouldn't start out the body of your story with the story's title, since the title is already shown at the top of the page. :)
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2018
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At first I was starting to get confused because nothing bad was happening yet, and wondered when the contest prompt would come in, and got amused at the thought of the "bloody valentine" having to do with the Bloody Mary, since you said that bloody valentines aren't always what they seem to be. And then you mentioned the bloody valentine killing and thought the story would have something to do with that. But then you go on to also name the red velvet cake and the martini bloody valentines, which is where I started to get a little bit annoyed, since you just seemed to be throwing the phrase in and using blood/bloody as adjectives to things just to try to get it to fit the theme. I did like the story, but you just seemed to be trying a little too hard to fit "bloody valentine" into the story without the story being violent and horror themed. I think I would have really liked if my first thought of Valentine's Day being all about Bloody Mary's was how it turned out :P I feel as if it would have been amusing.
I almost forgot to mention: You shouldn't start out the body of your story with the story's title, since the title is already shown at the top of the page. :)
Comment Written 13-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2018
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Thank you so much for your critique and advice. It is greatly appreciated.
Comment from Wabigoon
Though this is well and interestingly written I have to confess I don't get it. There's some sexual confusion. I ran through much of the story assuming the narrator a man but he appears to be a woman, or she does. I'm sure there's something perfectly simple I missed...sorry! But, it is well and intelligently done.
Thanks
Wabigoon/Jeff
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2018
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Though this is well and interestingly written I have to confess I don't get it. There's some sexual confusion. I ran through much of the story assuming the narrator a man but he appears to be a woman, or she does. I'm sure there's something perfectly simple I missed...sorry! But, it is well and intelligently done.
Thanks
Wabigoon/Jeff
Comment Written 11-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2018
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Thank you so much for your insight and kind review. Yes the narrator is a woman. I will revisit my story again.
Again, thank you for your comments.
Kind regards.
Comment from Debbie Pope
I have been reviewing eerie poems all morning. I was afraid that you were going to get murdered. I was so engrossed in your story that I forgot the category that you were entering. Obviously, I enjoyed your story very much. Good luck in the competition.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2018
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I have been reviewing eerie poems all morning. I was afraid that you were going to get murdered. I was so engrossed in your story that I forgot the category that you were entering. Obviously, I enjoyed your story very much. Good luck in the competition.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2018
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Thanks so much for your kind review. It is very much appreciated.
Comment from Winslow
Dear Writer,
Well written of a descriptive bloody day that brought your main character pleasure. I got hungry reading this since your description of food is very well done. I to like to eat. (LOL)
Good luck in the contest.
Happy Valentines Day,
Winslow
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2018
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Dear Writer,
Well written of a descriptive bloody day that brought your main character pleasure. I got hungry reading this since your description of food is very well done. I to like to eat. (LOL)
Good luck in the contest.
Happy Valentines Day,
Winslow
Comment Written 11-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2018
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Thank you very much Winslow for your kind review.
I, too, enjoy good eating.
