My Happy Family
My happy family memories10 total reviews
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello,
I was mesmerized by your flash fiction story. To know that this is non-fiction - and to learn of the artwork attached, is incredibly poignant. " Each night my closet is opened, just enough. I wait. " I will remember that line for a very long time.
Well-crafted and moving.
diane
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2018
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Hello,
I was mesmerized by your flash fiction story. To know that this is non-fiction - and to learn of the artwork attached, is incredibly poignant. " Each night my closet is opened, just enough. I wait. " I will remember that line for a very long time.
Well-crafted and moving.
diane
Comment Written 12-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2018
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Thank you, Diane. Please pardon the delayed response to your review of my poem, "My happy family". Children will use any type of imagination to help get them through situations that are not understandable, scary or confusing. This little routine which played out in my mind nightly, is what I used, and what I held onto.
Thank you, again.
sue
Comment from Thesis
Wow, you have quite an imagination. I started to think that perhaps your own family life was not good when you were growing up, but then I saw this is fiction. Either way, it's an interesting read.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2018
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Wow, you have quite an imagination. I started to think that perhaps your own family life was not good when you were growing up, but then I saw this is fiction. Either way, it's an interesting read.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2018
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Hello. Please pardon the delayed response to your review. Actually, this is a true story, a true routine that played out in my mind each and every night. You were right. My childhood was scary, confusing and for the most part, quite sad. I only tell you this because of the idea of the story. For how awful my story is, there are much worse to be heard. I am safe today and that is all that matters.
Thank you,
sue
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is a good entry for the 100 word flash fiction writing prompt.
Your story is well told in your few well chosen words.
Good luck to you with this one in the competition.
Sharon
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2018
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I think this is a good entry for the 100 word flash fiction writing prompt.
Your story is well told in your few well chosen words.
Good luck to you with this one in the competition.
Sharon
Comment Written 12-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2018
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Thank you, Sharon. Telling a story within a 100 word frame is quite challenging and just the important facts in the fewest words possible is not an easy task. LOL! Thank you so much for the well wishes.
sue
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
I think your word count may be off. The piece has to be a minimum of 98 words and this clocks in at 94 I think.
It's a quirky little piece which should do well if you can find a few more words.
All the best
GMG
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2018
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Hi there,
I think your word count may be off. The piece has to be a minimum of 98 words and this clocks in at 94 I think.
It's a quirky little piece which should do well if you can find a few more words.
All the best
GMG
Comment Written 12-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2018
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Thank you for your review and interesting thoughts.
Comment from Dan Diego
Since you did not attribute the art to another person, I must assume it is your work. I mention that because the art is such an important part of this story. I liked it. You have a lot going on in those sparse 100 words. I'm seeing conflict (run away). I'm seeing loneliness (imaginary little people) and I'm seeing hope (still inviting them). One could assume this is a story about foster care or a child who is caught between the cracks and had a lot of families. But the only family, the narrator really loved, was the imaginary one. Great job. I think the title, the art, and the well-penned story all merge to give the reader an imaginative ending.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2018
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Since you did not attribute the art to another person, I must assume it is your work. I mention that because the art is such an important part of this story. I liked it. You have a lot going on in those sparse 100 words. I'm seeing conflict (run away). I'm seeing loneliness (imaginary little people) and I'm seeing hope (still inviting them). One could assume this is a story about foster care or a child who is caught between the cracks and had a lot of families. But the only family, the narrator really loved, was the imaginary one. Great job. I think the title, the art, and the well-penned story all merge to give the reader an imaginative ending.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2018
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Thank you, Dan for such an in-depth, description of your thoughts and feelings from my short story. 100 words are saying it, short and sweet. Thanks for a great review.
Comment from Lloyd T. Okoko
The verbal structure of the story reminisces a covertly transient family that perpetuates their happy stay under the bed of the protagonist.
The work highlights their exit moves from under the bed through the closet door, which ironically recurred without ceasing until the protagonist had to pack out of the house for fear of them.
It was a happy family indeed,even for the protagonist, but l can not seem to understand why she had to take to her heels away from the ones she saw as a happy family. What prompted her running away from the house? Did she fill threatened?
Excellent work! Keep the flag flying!
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2018
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The verbal structure of the story reminisces a covertly transient family that perpetuates their happy stay under the bed of the protagonist.
The work highlights their exit moves from under the bed through the closet door, which ironically recurred without ceasing until the protagonist had to pack out of the house for fear of them.
It was a happy family indeed,even for the protagonist, but l can not seem to understand why she had to take to her heels away from the ones she saw as a happy family. What prompted her running away from the house? Did she fill threatened?
Excellent work! Keep the flag flying!
Comment Written 11-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2018
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Thank you for the input and I hope I can clarify. This is obviously a good sign that you really don't understand the underlying message. I don't expect all readers to identify and I'm grateful as well. I was an only child. Abused from age 3 until I turned 16 when I ate my spinach and developed the strength to run for my life. Every night I lied in bed and dreamed of a happy family to belong to. Thank you, again.
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Remain Blessed!
Comment from Zue65
Wee people, the little winged fairies that inhabit our imagination may just be real for some, especially those who can see them. i have written a poem about these little beings about 2 years ago, quite a long time ago, but like you, I still believe they do exist. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2018
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Wee people, the little winged fairies that inhabit our imagination may just be real for some, especially those who can see them. i have written a poem about these little beings about 2 years ago, quite a long time ago, but like you, I still believe they do exist. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2018
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Thank you, my friend. I appreciate your sharing and believing in dreams is very important and imagination is a type of healing. I imagined this wonderful and happy family who appeared each night in order to rid the pains of abuse. Thank you, again.
Comment from Jackreese
Often kids create imaginary friends or their own little worlds, sometimes just to cope with unpleasant situation and others because they have overactive imaginations. I think the picture you chose went well with your story.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2018
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Often kids create imaginary friends or their own little worlds, sometimes just to cope with unpleasant situation and others because they have overactive imaginations. I think the picture you chose went well with your story.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2018
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Thank you for your thoughts. My imagination was actually a way that I was able to rid pains of abuse and to pretend that I did have a happy family. This happy family was very real to me and I truly waited for them every night. Thanks, again.
Comment from robina1978
Lovely sweet picture of this happy little family. You open the closet door a little bit for them. It is well written. They were your only happy family. You don't know their name, when you ran from that home and never returned.
Great twist: each night my closet is opened, just enough. I wait. You must have had a miserable youth.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2018
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Lovely sweet picture of this happy little family. You open the closet door a little bit for them. It is well written. They were your only happy family. You don't know their name, when you ran from that home and never returned.
Great twist: each night my closet is opened, just enough. I wait. You must have had a miserable youth.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2018
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Thank you for your detailed thoughts of my story. It wasn't an easy task to capture the message as a miniature within 100 words, but so accomplished. Yes, and thank you for reading between the words. At times, the message shouts the loudest with those invisible in-between words. LOL!
Comment from apky
This is a fantastic story about the way cildren can have vivid imaginations to help them escape unpleasant thoughts or conditions or events. The artwork complements your story, whi story is in itself very mysterious and intriguing.
I remember as a child I had vivid dreams about God, and mine was female. She was quite pleasantly plump and loved sitting me on the front edge of a wheelbarrow and running around pushing me on it, to my utter squeals of delight...
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2018
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This is a fantastic story about the way cildren can have vivid imaginations to help them escape unpleasant thoughts or conditions or events. The artwork complements your story, whi story is in itself very mysterious and intriguing.
I remember as a child I had vivid dreams about God, and mine was female. She was quite pleasantly plump and loved sitting me on the front edge of a wheelbarrow and running around pushing me on it, to my utter squeals of delight...
Comment Written 11-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2018
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Hi. Apologies for such a late thank you for this kind review. Please know I appreciate your thoughts!
