Loophole
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Crime in the Suburbs"All chapters
5 total reviews
Comment from BeasPeas
Hi Marv. I thought this chapter was well written. You have progressed it along a bit which holds the reader's interest. Dialogue and chapter length are good. Marilyn
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2018
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Hi Marv. I thought this chapter was well written. You have progressed it along a bit which holds the reader's interest. Dialogue and chapter length are good. Marilyn
Comment Written 10-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2018
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Thanks, Marilyn, for reviewing chapter 6 of my murder mystery, which should be titled, ?FOW Play.? As I'm sure you're aware, it has nothing to do with my novel, ?Loophole,? but I can't convince FS of that fact.
FS insists on calling it, ?Crime in the Suburbs,? which I used to describe the plot. And the fun continues.
Thanks for the high rating.
Marv
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Hi Marv. I think the problem is perpetuating because you have included the new story in the Loophole book. If you create a new book for Crime in the Suburbs and put your new story chapters in there it would be best. Here is how it appears now:
" Crime in the Suburbs by Marvin Calloway
Chapter 6 of the book Loophole"
Marilyn
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Thanks for the tip. I'll attempt your suggestion.
Comment from Debbie Pope
This is a page turner for me. I love your use of dialogue. It moves the story so well. Not a boring line in it. I also like how you use chairs. Keep that up. That is funny. I have nothing constructive to add. A few places where you join complete sentences with "and" need commas. That is absolutely nothing. You are doing a great job.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2018
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This is a page turner for me. I love your use of dialogue. It moves the story so well. Not a boring line in it. I also like how you use chairs. Keep that up. That is funny. I have nothing constructive to add. A few places where you join complete sentences with "and" need commas. That is absolutely nothing. You are doing a great job.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2018
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Thanks for this encouraging review. I appreciate it immensely. I'm glad you like my use of chairs and that you saw the humor in them.
Thanks for the compliments and the high rating.
I hope we can do this again on chapter 7.
A few words about a posting problem: FS and I murdered the title for this story. I want to call it FOW Play, but FS won't allow it. This story has nothing to do with Loophole, my screenwriter's novel. Crime in the Suburbs was meant to be the description for FOW Play, not the title.
I hope to get all this straightened out before I submit chapter 7 of my murder mystery, FOW Play.
Thanks for listening
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I will look for FOW Play.
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Look for, "Crime In the Suburbs."
Chapters 1 to 5.
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I will be on the watch.
Comment from apky
Clear, excellent and intriguing work.
I like the easy style of your writing that races the reader through the story.
There are no spags or typos that I could detect.
All in all an engaging story.
Well done.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2018
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Clear, excellent and intriguing work.
I like the easy style of your writing that races the reader through the story.
There are no spags or typos that I could detect.
All in all an engaging story.
Well done.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2018
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Thank you for this pleasing review.
Since this is my first time writing in this genre, your words are extremely encouraging. Engaging is a nice word to hear.
Thanks again.
On a personal note, FS and I murdered the title of this story. I want to call it FOW Play, but FS won't allow it. This story has nothing to do with Loophole, my screenwriter's novel. Crime in the Suburbs was meant to be the description for FOW Play.
I hope to get all this straightened out before I submit chapter 7 of my murder Murder Mystery, FOW Play.
Thanks for listening.
Marv
Marv
Comment from Zue65
this story ended with a hint as to what new development on the case and the thief and how the conflict may be resolved or not. The technique is effective for it aroused the curiosity of the readers to wait for the next post. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2018
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this story ended with a hint as to what new development on the case and the thief and how the conflict may be resolved or not. The technique is effective for it aroused the curiosity of the readers to wait for the next post. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2018
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I tried to end each chapter with an enticement to check out the next one. This is a new genre for me. Thanks for your review.
Thanks for the compliments.
Marv
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This story goes on, investigation continues, interrogation captures more information, Ms. Zito could not help furnishing more dependable facts; more facts about crime expected; well said, well done. Keep writing. DR ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2018
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This story goes on, investigation continues, interrogation captures more information, Ms. Zito could not help furnishing more dependable facts; more facts about crime expected; well said, well done. Keep writing. DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 09-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2018
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Thanks for continuing to read and offer a review of a new venture for me_Murder Mystery.
I'd like to title it, FOW Play, but FS won't cooperate and I'm left with the title, Crime in the Suburb, which was meant only as a description.
Thanks for your compliments. They are encouraging.
Marv
