Random Belief
Discussing belief63 total reviews
Comment from Patricia Crandall
You have followed the rules for Acrostic poetry. The rhythm flows well and the message including words, self-deceit, mythology, theology and zealotry makes one ponder what they believe. I would recommend it.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2018
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You have followed the rules for Acrostic poetry. The rhythm flows well and the message including words, self-deceit, mythology, theology and zealotry makes one ponder what they believe. I would recommend it.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2018
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Hi Patricia. I have added a new stanza and edited a bit. It is now entitled Random Belief. If you get a chance, take a look and let me know what you think. I thank you Patricia and I am honored. tom
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This is excellent too. You have added one more stanza to ponder; thought provoking. I would favor this one.
Comment from tfawcus
This should stir a few people up! The credulous are easy prey for the unscrupulous and when people are unquestioning, a fertile field is sown for fanatic ideologies and misplaced zeal. I am very much of the view you express here in that regard.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2018
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This should stir a few people up! The credulous are easy prey for the unscrupulous and when people are unquestioning, a fertile field is sown for fanatic ideologies and misplaced zeal. I am very much of the view you express here in that regard.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2018
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Hey my friend. I have added another stanza and made one or two edits. It is now entitled Random Belief. I felt I better add a bit more juice in length and content. If you get a chance to take a look, let me know what you think. I respect your opinion on my work. Have you started that book yet. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did. Thank you friend. tom
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Yes, the longer version works well, too. Interesting that you have chosen an almost regular monorhyme in the new part, with the two rhymes so assonant as to almost be one. I've read the first couple of chapters of the book - a hard life they lived in those days! Nantucket seems like a much more interesting place than I had imagined from Edward Lear's limerick!
Comment from Thesis
Acrostics are unique in that they allow many ideas and feelings to be introduced simultaneously. They are robust in impact and delivery. Yours holds true to the mold, in that there is no set pattern.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2018
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Acrostics are unique in that they allow many ideas and feelings to be introduced simultaneously. They are robust in impact and delivery. Yours holds true to the mold, in that there is no set pattern.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2018
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I thank you Thesis for this great review. Take care my friend. tom
Comment from writerjen
Well written Acrostic Poem contest entry...you followed the requirements of an acrostic. Good descriptive verses, born out of your belief of others' beliefs. Everyone believes something even if it's not to believe in anything. I tend to disagree on some of your theology although it's somewhat veiled in your writing. But you're a poet, so you have poetic license I guess. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2018
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Well written Acrostic Poem contest entry...you followed the requirements of an acrostic. Good descriptive verses, born out of your belief of others' beliefs. Everyone believes something even if it's not to believe in anything. I tend to disagree on some of your theology although it's somewhat veiled in your writing. But you're a poet, so you have poetic license I guess. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2018
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Thank you writerjen. Most honored friend. tom
Comment from MercurySeven
This reminded me of a quote I've always liked: "The sleep of reason brings forth monsters." I might have known you wouldn't pen a pandering verse on faith OR a simple acrostic. You've described the slippery slope into fanaticism succinctly and effectively. Very good rhyming here, easy - they click into place like clockwork. I hope you place well in the contest.
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2018
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This reminded me of a quote I've always liked: "The sleep of reason brings forth monsters." I might have known you wouldn't pen a pandering verse on faith OR a simple acrostic. You've described the slippery slope into fanaticism succinctly and effectively. Very good rhyming here, easy - they click into place like clockwork. I hope you place well in the contest.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2018
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Hey Merc I added a stanza to the poem so it is now entitled "Random Belief. Figured I best add a bit of juice to make it look better LOL.
Thanks again good friend and I love the quote and wish I had said it but alas I did not. Take care and I will wander over to your port soon to find out how it's done. tom
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I like this new line, Tom: "Allow dissent with studied ears". If only all religions and ideologies could do just that.
Comment from Zue65
Your acrostic poem effectively explored the different facets of beliefs and every line drive home your message to the readers. Good luck in the contest and thanks for sharing an excellent write. God bless.
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2018
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Your acrostic poem effectively explored the different facets of beliefs and every line drive home your message to the readers. Good luck in the contest and thanks for sharing an excellent write. God bless.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2018
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Thanks for the good luck wishes nassus. Most honored. Take care. tom
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
I loved the way this was acrostic and also rhymed so well. Well done1 This is simply marvellous. I really hope it does well in the competition kindest and warmest regards Meia xx
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2018
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I loved the way this was acrostic and also rhymed so well. Well done1 This is simply marvellous. I really hope it does well in the competition kindest and warmest regards Meia xx
Comment Written 08-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2018
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Hi Meia and I thank you once again good friend for taking time to read my scribbles. You take good care my erudite friend. By the way I added another stanza so it is now entitled Random Belief. tom
Comment from LIJ Red
The first step is "Do I believe that I will end?" After that the Big Bang and Dark Energry and Higgs boson are easy enough. The fervent instinct to explode life
is fairly easy, though calling it love is a stretch...excellent acrostic.
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2018
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The first step is "Do I believe that I will end?" After that the Big Bang and Dark Energry and Higgs boson are easy enough. The fervent instinct to explode life
is fairly easy, though calling it love is a stretch...excellent acrostic.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2018
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Thank you my talented Red. I appreciate it very much. tom
Comment from CD Richards
I wholeheartedly agree that the majority of "believers" haven't really thought through the consequences of the things they accept as true. Nevertheless I wouldn't classify all of them as "zealots", even if historically that is their heritage. Your point, however, is well made, and the poem gets its point across loud and clear. Well done, it should be a welcome balance to what, no doubt, many of the entries will be about.
Cheers,
Craig
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2018
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I wholeheartedly agree that the majority of "believers" haven't really thought through the consequences of the things they accept as true. Nevertheless I wouldn't classify all of them as "zealots", even if historically that is their heritage. Your point, however, is well made, and the poem gets its point across loud and clear. Well done, it should be a welcome balance to what, no doubt, many of the entries will be about.
Cheers,
Craig
Comment Written 08-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2018
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Hi Craig. I have added another stanza to this effort so now the title reads 'Random Beliefs'. I think it is a better poem after stanza add and a few little edits. Take care my friend and thanks again. tomj
Comment from Leineco
This is a strong stance and I applaud your willingness
to express it. I also happen to agree with it.
You opening line leaves no question of where this is going
and you proceed from there with deliberate analysis.
My one problem with the poem is in line 3, where I found
the clarity of thought faltered a bit...lost reason is a difficult
concept to parse and stopping to decipher it detracted from
the poem's smooth flow (for me)
Also, the L was a perfect opportunity missed, to make use of
the phrase logic and reason.
IMHO -
Logic and reason concede and retreat
would make for a stronger connection between L3 & L4, as
well as a smoother transition
A smaller niggle applies to line 6. While I appreciate the use of "forged"
here...I found myself contemplating the use of "framed" instead (framed
in false ideology) because of the possible dicey-ness of the word framed
as opposed to the strength of the word forged (which, admittedly, carries
with it the imagery of "hammered", which has its own appeal here).
:-) Just a couple thoughts to consider :-)
Interesting read...while I might rate this a 4 (Very Good) based on construction
preferences, for pure hutzpah I'll gladly bump it to a 5 :-)
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2018
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This is a strong stance and I applaud your willingness
to express it. I also happen to agree with it.
You opening line leaves no question of where this is going
and you proceed from there with deliberate analysis.
My one problem with the poem is in line 3, where I found
the clarity of thought faltered a bit...lost reason is a difficult
concept to parse and stopping to decipher it detracted from
the poem's smooth flow (for me)
Also, the L was a perfect opportunity missed, to make use of
the phrase logic and reason.
IMHO -
Logic and reason concede and retreat
would make for a stronger connection between L3 & L4, as
well as a smoother transition
A smaller niggle applies to line 6. While I appreciate the use of "forged"
here...I found myself contemplating the use of "framed" instead (framed
in false ideology) because of the possible dicey-ness of the word framed
as opposed to the strength of the word forged (which, admittedly, carries
with it the imagery of "hammered", which has its own appeal here).
:-) Just a couple thoughts to consider :-)
Interesting read...while I might rate this a 4 (Very Good) based on construction
preferences, for pure hutzpah I'll gladly bump it to a 5 :-)
Comment Written 08-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2018
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I like your review except I can't use your changes because some have been changed already.
Like I think the last line you had concern about reads:
"Fanatic ideologies" and this is written in iambic tetrameter and your logic and reason change would bump to iambic tetrameter. Oh, well, interesting review. easy
