Comment from Contests

A seven star rating from the Contest Committee for the recognition this post has received from the FanStory community. While this was not a Contest Committee decision, the committee recognizes this achievement with a seven star review.

 Comment Written 07-Mar-2018

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reply by the author on 07-Mar-2018

Thank you so very much! :)) xxxx

Comment from rwilliam

Exceptional

I really like when a picture sets the mood of a chapter.

this was an extra great chapter for me. The visuals you paint with your words makes the story come alive. I can see it all. You are really good at making it suspenseful too.( I tend to rush that). The pace you set is perfect.

I love the power the two 'ghosts' hold and I'm seeing light at the end of the tunnel for Francis. Such a fun read. Bravo! :-)

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2018

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reply by the author on 08-Feb-2018

I wish I could hire you as my media secretary, LOL! You have given me so many 6 stars now, I'm just so humbled and so chuffed that you like my story that much. You are such a confidence builder, and for that there is nothing I can think of to say to show how much I appreciate you.

I have a wonderful friend who gave me an enormous tip, she's a great author and once told me she puts herself in the room with her characters and watches the scene as it unfolds. That was so useful. Thank you, again, my friend. Big hugs! :)) Sandra xxx

Comment from estory

Excellent

I think its pretty good crisp adventure writing. You have a great scene there when Joe gets that beating from the two thugs, Sir John seems to be confused about the prospect of his sister's ghost around, and the story is getting more complicated. We don't know where Sir John will end up, on the side of good or bad. I think the dialogue is pretty crisp and the counterpoint is good and fairly dramatic. Good suspense estory

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2018

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reply by the author on 07-Feb-2018

Thank you , Estory, for another of your lovely reviews! I am really pleased you like the plot. Big hugs, my friend. :) Sandra xxx

Comment from Ella Gott

Excellent

Such a great story! I need to get my younger brother to read this, 5 stars for sure! I would be totally honored if you glanced over some of my work and perhaps gave feedback.

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2018

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reply by the author on 07-Feb-2018

Thank you so much, Ella, for your lovely review of my story. I really appreciate it a lot. I have been and read and reviewed your work, and I was really impressed with how well you write. Keep it up and enjoy the group. :) Sandra xxx

Comment from Mistydawn

Exceptional

This is the first chapter I've read of this book but it was so well-written I could easily understand and follow along. Your chapter is very descriptive really draws you in. The characters seem life-like and their dialogue natural. I love your great hook at the end.

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2018

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reply by the author on 07-Feb-2018

What a lovely review, thank you so much! I've put a synopsis of the previous parts if it will help you understand more of what is happening. Thank you for the lovely 6 stars, too. You are so kind. :) Sandra x

Comment from Pam (respa)

Exceptional

-A very intense chapter, Sandra.
-You really got almost everyone involved,
from the Powers in the beginning to
Joe and his situation, and finally Ver.'s
fast thinking since Gwen. was shaken by it all.
-Poor Joe was taking the brunt of things, but
try as she might, Ver. had to do the thinking
to help Joe with what his sister might say.
-Ver. really came through with what seemed like
a foolproof plan.
-It was working very well, and then you leave
us in suspense as the oil lamp is knocked over.



[Glitterfy.com - *Glitter Photos*]

 Comment Written 06-Feb-2018

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reply by the author on 07-Feb-2018

Thank you so very much for your lovely review, Pam, and all those fabulous stars!!! Sir John was really annoying knocking the lamp over, just when things were coming together. Now we will have to wait and see what happened. At least Veronica and Gwendolyn are safe, at least, we think Veronica is safe ... she's never dealt with something like this before. Hmmm. I'll try to see into the future again! LOL. Biggest hugs, my dear friend. :) Sandra xxx

reply by Pam (respa) on 07-Feb-2018

You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and review, Sandra. If Ver. isn't safe, then I don't know where the story goes🙂 But it did sound like a dangerous situation at the end. I would think there would have to be some teamwork involved, so we will see.

Comment from rspoet

Exceptional

Hello Sandra,
Now you've gone and done it. Knocked over the oil lamp,
like in the old western movies.
I think Joe can save the situation with quick action
and alter his plight at the same time.
Veronica is getting dangerous, just like a woman.

If the fate of the world is in the hands of The Powers that be
I think that we are all in trouble.

This is an excellent chapter with smooth dialogue, good action sequences,
and enough obstacles to challenge a ninja warrior.
You've mastered the art of the old serial novels,
with cliffhangers at the end of each chapter.

Well done, my friend
RS

 Comment Written 06-Feb-2018

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reply by the author on 07-Feb-2018

That's a thought! Do you think a film directer could use this and put it on the television as a serial?? Hmm. Probably not! lol. The Powers that be do seem to be scratching around now. I think they will come into their own soon. :)) Your first scenario about Joe saving the day did come into my mind, but we'll see. :)) Thank you so much for another of your wonderful reviews, Robert, and all the shiny stars, I love your reviews. Big hugs, my friend. :) Sandra xx

Comment from JDRBAR

Exceptional

cannot type righr broke wrist the stars tell you enuf hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhbhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg

 Comment Written 06-Feb-2018

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reply by the author on 06-Feb-2018

Oh, you poor thing! When you can type again, you will have to tell me what happened. Is it painful? Yes, the 6 stars tell me you enjoyed this part, awww. thank you so much, my dear friend. I just hope you aren't in pain. Sending you a big hug. Sandra xxxxx

Comment from F. Wehr3

Excellent

Good work, Sandra. I enjoyed this part. I was a little confused about what the powers that be were deciding in the first part. I made a couple of suggestions for your consideration.

'We've been given special dispensation to look into Veronica's future, do you think we could ask the time-lords for permission to look into Jacobs?'--I believe this to be two complete sentences. Suggest a semi-colon instead of the comma after future.

and before the meeting was concluded they decided to wait until Jowell had sought more advice.--You have a dependent clause. Comma after concluded.

It wasn't going to plan, --This may be an English expression. Suggest going according to plan.

Take care,
Russell

 Comment Written 06-Feb-2018

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reply by the author on 06-Feb-2018

Hi, Russell, thank you so much for the lovely review, and the help with my grammar. I've just joined the grammar club! lol. I'm glad you enjoyed this part. Oh, yes, that is how we say it. But I think I will change it as it is probably more grammatically correct. Thanks, my friend. :) Sandra xx

Comment from write hand blue

Excellent

Hi Sandra, I couldn't spot any errors in this episode of your ghost story. I like the hook at the beginning... Jowell thumped the table. "Enough." Great start, how can the reader not be drawn into the plot. Getting the character to come up with a good idea on the spot is an excellent way to introduce more of the plot, and gives it depth.
The start of a fire is a perfect ending, with that hook again to pull the reader back to the next chapter.

I have often wondered how the short FS length chapters work out when making an actual book, because they are usually much longer? I imagine that you will have to join them together. Doesn't that cause continuity problems? Just wondering.

Great story there... ~Mel~ xx

 Comment Written 05-Feb-2018

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reply by the author on 06-Feb-2018

Thank you so much for your lovely review, Mel, I love how you pointed out the parts that pulled you in further.

The parts are not chapters, they are parts of a chapter. I have my MS Word copy which is my book, and each part follows on from the last one only being split for FS readers. This particular part is in fact, chapter 16 but part 31. Most of my chapters begin with the Powers That Be, discussing what Veronica has done or not been able to do. These are the people who are responsible for her 'trips' back and forth. My problem is, I can't seem to write small parts. One thing that the readers are telling me who have bought the first book in the Trilogy, is that there is always a page turner, so I'm really happy with that. :)}

Thank you so much for your input, my friend, without yours and other fabulous reviewers on here my book would fail. Big hugs, Sandra xx

reply by write hand blue on 06-Feb-2018

To be able to come up continuously with page turners during a story is masterly. I can understand the difficulty of tailoring the writing to match FS requirements. Good luck Sandra... ~Mel~ xx