This House
A story in a poem51 total reviews
Comment from judiverse
Great details about the appearance of the house and the narrator's speculation about who might have lived there. Old abandoned houses are intriguing to others because they generate a sense of fright. The description of the Santa Claus clone is scary. Seems like the prospect of being nabbed by the police is the most frightening thing about what turns out to be a dream. Excellent rhyme. Check your tenses in this. You seem to be going between past and present. judi
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2018
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Great details about the appearance of the house and the narrator's speculation about who might have lived there. Old abandoned houses are intriguing to others because they generate a sense of fright. The description of the Santa Claus clone is scary. Seems like the prospect of being nabbed by the police is the most frightening thing about what turns out to be a dream. Excellent rhyme. Check your tenses in this. You seem to be going between past and present. judi
Comment Written 03-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2018
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Thank you judi for your thoughtful review. I always look forward to hearing from you.
Blessings
Janet
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You're very welcome. Hope 2018 is being good to you. judi
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Thanks Judi. I became a great Grandmother a few weeks ago so we are off to a good start. Hope 2018 is good to you too.
Janet
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Congratulations. You will have all the fun of being a great-grandmother without all the work! judi
Comment from Dean Kuch
Is the house mentioned in your poem for sale, Janet? I just might be interested, heh-heh.
I noticed you slipped in a poetic nod to Clement Clarke Moore, the author of that timeless classic, 'Twas the Night Before Christmas, in the first line of your final stanza.
Excellent!
I wish you nothing but the best to you in the contest.
~Dean :}
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2018
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Is the house mentioned in your poem for sale, Janet? I just might be interested, heh-heh.
I noticed you slipped in a poetic nod to Clement Clarke Moore, the author of that timeless classic, 'Twas the Night Before Christmas, in the first line of your final stanza.
Excellent!
I wish you nothing but the best to you in the contest.
~Dean :}
Comment Written 03-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2018
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Thank you Dean for your sweet review. I will be happy to sell you the house and some swampland too. haha I'm always happy to hear from you and thanks for the good wishes.
Blessings
Janet
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It's always a pleasure, Janet.
~Dean :}
Comment from dragonpoet
That's a big eerie looking house that fits your nightmare well. The story is clearly told and one wonders why no one every moved back into such a grand house. Maybe those men in blue were trying to change its history by renovating it. So next time you dream of it, the house will be filled again like it was at the beginning of the tale.
Good luck in the contest
Keep writing
dp
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2018
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That's a big eerie looking house that fits your nightmare well. The story is clearly told and one wonders why no one every moved back into such a grand house. Maybe those men in blue were trying to change its history by renovating it. So next time you dream of it, the house will be filled again like it was at the beginning of the tale.
Good luck in the contest
Keep writing
dp
Comment Written 03-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2018
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Thank you dp for your thoughtful review. I always look forward to hearing from you.
Blessings
Janet
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Don't mention it.
Joan
Comment from jmdg1954
I thought you did a fine job with your own scary touches to this poem. Dean is certainly the master, but you should be proud of yours!
I like the Santa reference. Nicely composed... John
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2018
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I thought you did a fine job with your own scary touches to this poem. Dean is certainly the master, but you should be proud of yours!
I like the Santa reference. Nicely composed... John
Comment Written 03-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2018
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Thank you John for your thoughtful review. I always look forward to hearing from you an appreciate you comments.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
but some brawny big men who were dressed in bright blue.
I ran home when I saw them my heart filled with fear,
then I woke with a start -- glad I'm safe home with you.'
Your poem might not be as scary as Dean's but it has a lot of merits of it's own. Just be you- you are great as what you do just as Dean is at what he does. Don't force it. I enjoyed this poem immensely by the way. Love and best regards Meia x
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2018
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but some brawny big men who were dressed in bright blue.
I ran home when I saw them my heart filled with fear,
then I woke with a start -- glad I'm safe home with you.'
Your poem might not be as scary as Dean's but it has a lot of merits of it's own. Just be you- you are great as what you do just as Dean is at what he does. Don't force it. I enjoyed this poem immensely by the way. Love and best regards Meia x
Comment Written 03-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2018
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Thank you Meia for your thoughtful review. I always look forward to hearing from you and appreciate your comments.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from smileycloud
a fine entry with a really good story
your house is well represented in your lines
the rhyme is very good
it is sort of scary so you did do well to try and bravery is well worth it
I hope the men in blue did not follow you home in your dreams the next night
have a smiley day
good luck in the contest
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2018
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a fine entry with a really good story
your house is well represented in your lines
the rhyme is very good
it is sort of scary so you did do well to try and bravery is well worth it
I hope the men in blue did not follow you home in your dreams the next night
have a smiley day
good luck in the contest
Comment Written 03-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2018
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Thank you for your fun review. I always look forward to hearing from you.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hi Janet, this is a sort of scary, story of a dream. Nice twist at the end. Some good rhyme in abab form, eg. family/shamelessly, stone/clone. Although the meter is out it still reads well and I like your story. Good alliteration in Claus/clone. Good luck in the contest. Warm regards Dorothy xx
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2018
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Hi Janet, this is a sort of scary, story of a dream. Nice twist at the end. Some good rhyme in abab form, eg. family/shamelessly, stone/clone. Although the meter is out it still reads well and I like your story. Good alliteration in Claus/clone. Good luck in the contest. Warm regards Dorothy xx
Comment Written 03-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2018
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Thank you Dorothy for the thoughtful and encouraging review.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written story/poem. The house looks very scary at night, I am sure there may be a few wandering ghosts haunting the place. I will surely not be willing to go investigate, I will rather leave it to the 'Ghost adventurers."
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2018
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A very well-written story/poem. The house looks very scary at night, I am sure there may be a few wandering ghosts haunting the place. I will surely not be willing to go investigate, I will rather leave it to the 'Ghost adventurers."
Comment Written 03-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2018
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Thank you Sandra for the thoughtful and encouraging review.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
You told a sweet story here rather than a horror story! It was just a dream and the house is not a creepy house, but a happy one! He he he, bless you, a warm and subtle write, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2018
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You told a sweet story here rather than a horror story! It was just a dream and the house is not a creepy house, but a happy one! He he he, bless you, a warm and subtle write, love Dolly x
Comment Written 03-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2018
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Thank you Dolly for the thoughtful and encouraging review. I appreciate your kind comments.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from misscookie
I mean you no harm but I must confess Dean is the master in this site on writing scary stuff.
Some times I can't read them for I would have night mares
Once in awhile I to dare only because its day light
No matter I was captured by your write.
Thank you fol sharing.
I hope you get a chance to read my work
Cookie
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2018
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I mean you no harm but I must confess Dean is the master in this site on writing scary stuff.
Some times I can't read them for I would have night mares
Once in awhile I to dare only because its day light
No matter I was captured by your write.
Thank you fol sharing.
I hope you get a chance to read my work
Cookie
Comment Written 03-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2018
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Thank you Cookie for your thoughtful review. I always look forward to hearing from you. I will be checking out your work.
Blessings
Janet
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You're very welcome, i pray you will enjoy my poems as well as I do yours.
Cookie
