Billy the Budget Biker
A silly, want to be biker10 total reviews
Comment from jenintorre
I know him ha ha. A very good character study. Check first line, second stanza. "Pleather".
Do you mean leather? A nice fun read. Best wishes Jen.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2018
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I know him ha ha. A very good character study. Check first line, second stanza. "Pleather".
Do you mean leather? A nice fun read. Best wishes Jen.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2018
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No, I meant pleather. My way of saying fake leather. Thank you for reading and for your review.
Comment from Sharon Haiste
A nicely done verse. Well rhymed.
Your story is clear and well told here.
We've all known at least one of these loosers in our lifetimes.
Thank you for sharing this with us.
Sharon
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2018
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A nicely done verse. Well rhymed.
Your story is clear and well told here.
We've all known at least one of these loosers in our lifetimes.
Thank you for sharing this with us.
Sharon
Comment Written 02-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2018
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Thank you for reading and for your comments.
Comment from MsPetra
I enjoyed your rhyming pattern. I liked the comical edge to it. There isn't anything I would do differently. I liked your second stanza most. Please keep up the good work.
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
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I enjoyed your rhyming pattern. I liked the comical edge to it. There isn't anything I would do differently. I liked your second stanza most. Please keep up the good work.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
Thank you for your review and your feedback.
D.
Comment from charlene7190
I enjoyed this as I remember that card trick and trying hard to fit in. I also had sympathy for Billy. He wanted to belong so bad and just never quite succeeded. I don't see any "glitches" in the writing.
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
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I enjoyed this as I remember that card trick and trying hard to fit in. I also had sympathy for Billy. He wanted to belong so bad and just never quite succeeded. I don't see any "glitches" in the writing.
Comment Written 01-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
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Thank you for your review and your feedback.
D.
Comment from James H. Oldfield
Haha, the picture's brilliant :)
Lovely poem, very funny, but them, I think we've all known a kid like this.
Final line of stanza three, I know in the UK we'd say 'tyres' ('tires' meaning 'becomes tired'). I'm not sure if that's the same elsewhere, but I thought I'd flag it just in case. Of course, if 'tire' is the conventional spelling, you can ignore this comment.
Great job, I enjoyed this.
Take care.
-James
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
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Haha, the picture's brilliant :)
Lovely poem, very funny, but them, I think we've all known a kid like this.
Final line of stanza three, I know in the UK we'd say 'tyres' ('tires' meaning 'becomes tired'). I'm not sure if that's the same elsewhere, but I thought I'd flag it just in case. Of course, if 'tire' is the conventional spelling, you can ignore this comment.
Great job, I enjoyed this.
Take care.
-James
Comment Written 01-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
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Thank you for your review and your feedback.
D.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Yes I remember this! The kids in my street did this to make the wheels sound like an engine roaring! A clever poem about wanna-be bikers and how the yearning to grow up and be with the big boys made us all look so funny! Magical memories recorded here in your words, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2018
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Yes I remember this! The kids in my street did this to make the wheels sound like an engine roaring! A clever poem about wanna-be bikers and how the yearning to grow up and be with the big boys made us all look so funny! Magical memories recorded here in your words, love Dolly x
Comment Written 01-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2018
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Thank you for reading my poem and for your review. I wasn't sure if it was just us or if other people did that.
Comment from royowen
Things were pretty basic when I was a boy, bullying wasn't generally bad, but some kids tended to be picked icon, by teacher and pupil alike, I remember the cards pegged to frame. Beautifully written Ward, some great language rich narrative, a nicely couplet rhyming work, excellent job my friend, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2018
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Things were pretty basic when I was a boy, bullying wasn't generally bad, but some kids tended to be picked icon, by teacher and pupil alike, I remember the cards pegged to frame. Beautifully written Ward, some great language rich narrative, a nicely couplet rhyming work, excellent job my friend, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 01-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2018
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Thank you for reading, Roy. I always appreciate your comments.
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Most welcome
Comment from Lloyd T. Okoko
The work exposes the crude idiosyncrasies of a teenager who wanted to carve a niche for himself as a bad biker dude.
The work highlights his total lack of clue, poor dress code, his bike with playing cards clicking on it, his inability to cope with the tenets of the gang that ditched him and his being acknowledged as a joke by all in his society.
The work earns it's texture through the use of rhymes and alliteration.
Excellent work! Keep the flag flying!
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2018
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The work exposes the crude idiosyncrasies of a teenager who wanted to carve a niche for himself as a bad biker dude.
The work highlights his total lack of clue, poor dress code, his bike with playing cards clicking on it, his inability to cope with the tenets of the gang that ditched him and his being acknowledged as a joke by all in his society.
The work earns it's texture through the use of rhymes and alliteration.
Excellent work! Keep the flag flying!
Comment Written 01-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2018
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Thank you for your review. I appreciate your feedback.
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Remain Blessed!
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem about the silly biker and hoe he tried his best but failed terribly and decide to get himself a girl who was nearly three time his own age. Lol.
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2018
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A very well-written poem about the silly biker and hoe he tried his best but failed terribly and decide to get himself a girl who was nearly three time his own age. Lol.
Comment Written 01-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2018
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Thank you for reading my silly poem. I appreciate the feedback.
Comment from LIJ Red
Is that the guy that rides the bicycle with the weed-eater motor taped and wired to drive the back tire by a friction pulley who rides around LIJ with the HOMELESS WIRE ART FOR SALE sandwich sign on his back? No, I ain't kidding.
I had a Western Flyer and a deck of cards, and thought the widow R.N.S. was finer than frog hair, when I was about eleven...excellent poem!
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2018
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Is that the guy that rides the bicycle with the weed-eater motor taped and wired to drive the back tire by a friction pulley who rides around LIJ with the HOMELESS WIRE ART FOR SALE sandwich sign on his back? No, I ain't kidding.
I had a Western Flyer and a deck of cards, and thought the widow R.N.S. was finer than frog hair, when I was about eleven...excellent poem!
Comment Written 01-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2018
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So, I wasn't the only one? Thanks for reading and for your enlightening comments.
