Barbarians At The Door
A door opening becomes a symbol of change.8 total reviews
Comment from dracofelsinensis
First of all, forgive me for starting with the following things:
In the "12 months in Southeast Asia" paragraph, "more regular then unusual", you presumably meant "than" not "then".
"I still open doors for presumed ladies. I cling to civility. Now, I'm labled a sexist." Presumably = "labeled".
"Mulitple generations rely on outside sources ..." - "Multiple ..."
"... would not bother a depression raised, ..." Maybe put "Depression-raised" or "Depression raised"?
I have a lot of sympathy with the sentiments you express, such as "... my individualized symbol of the demise of American society." The door was jerked from your hand and there was the comment too; the latter would have been quite enough, even if still rude.
The real racists, of course, are those who assume that any critical comment about Obama must necessarily be caused by his ethnicity, whereas any praise cannot be. If you criticized George W Bush, would that make you anti-White and anti-male? The same goes for Hillary Clinton: there will be a female US President one day but, just because she's female, that isn't a sufficient reason to vote for her.
I'm tired of the excessive focus on special interest groups here in the UK too. Marginal behaviour is put at the centre by the media and academic so-called elite, who then marginalize mainstream morality and attitudes. Transgenderism has been the 'obsession du jour' of late, out of all proportion to the numbers concerned.
A good read, with some interesting historical events woven in.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2018
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First of all, forgive me for starting with the following things:
In the "12 months in Southeast Asia" paragraph, "more regular then unusual", you presumably meant "than" not "then".
"I still open doors for presumed ladies. I cling to civility. Now, I'm labled a sexist." Presumably = "labeled".
"Mulitple generations rely on outside sources ..." - "Multiple ..."
"... would not bother a depression raised, ..." Maybe put "Depression-raised" or "Depression raised"?
I have a lot of sympathy with the sentiments you express, such as "... my individualized symbol of the demise of American society." The door was jerked from your hand and there was the comment too; the latter would have been quite enough, even if still rude.
The real racists, of course, are those who assume that any critical comment about Obama must necessarily be caused by his ethnicity, whereas any praise cannot be. If you criticized George W Bush, would that make you anti-White and anti-male? The same goes for Hillary Clinton: there will be a female US President one day but, just because she's female, that isn't a sufficient reason to vote for her.
I'm tired of the excessive focus on special interest groups here in the UK too. Marginal behaviour is put at the centre by the media and academic so-called elite, who then marginalize mainstream morality and attitudes. Transgenderism has been the 'obsession du jour' of late, out of all proportion to the numbers concerned.
A good read, with some interesting historical events woven in.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2018
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Thank you for thoughts and comments. Good luck with your own writing efforts.
Comment from Dan Diego
Somewhere, there's a 70 year old feminist telling a story about that time she had to set some "man" straight about equal rights. Not really. She probably regrets her decision, much like I look back on my life and my choices in the 70s. The only good choice I made in the 70s was to enlist. That was a very difficult time for everyone, and judging from your story, you handled it quite well.
You have managed to capture those times in great detail. And you did it in so few words. Great job. I do have a question, though. I noticed your little bio has 22 years Army in it. I did 22 in the Navy. Do you fell like you missed a lot. I can't name a single band from the 80s because that decade just zoomed right by.
Anyway, great entry. Should do well with the judges.
Here's my notes:
You wrote: 'Great America Experiment' in Democracy.
I suggest: 'Great America Experiment' in Democracy.' (end with single quote-not sure if inside or outside the period)
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2018
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Somewhere, there's a 70 year old feminist telling a story about that time she had to set some "man" straight about equal rights. Not really. She probably regrets her decision, much like I look back on my life and my choices in the 70s. The only good choice I made in the 70s was to enlist. That was a very difficult time for everyone, and judging from your story, you handled it quite well.
You have managed to capture those times in great detail. And you did it in so few words. Great job. I do have a question, though. I noticed your little bio has 22 years Army in it. I did 22 in the Navy. Do you fell like you missed a lot. I can't name a single band from the 80s because that decade just zoomed right by.
Anyway, great entry. Should do well with the judges.
Here's my notes:
You wrote: 'Great America Experiment' in Democracy.
I suggest: 'Great America Experiment' in Democracy.' (end with single quote-not sure if inside or outside the period)
Comment Written 24-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2018
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Glad you liked my effort and appreciate the nice rating. What I missed, I caught up on if I thought it was worth the time. My son got me a requested Uriah Heep album for Christmas. Good luck with your writings.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I enjoyed your write, and that student was rude and she should be ashamed. I like the door opened for me and I never think it is a sexist action at all, just a polite gesture. I fear for the young today who decide who they are by posting their every move on facebook in order to create a life they don't actually lead! What happened to reality? That door knob is a symbol, in a way the same symbol was in Dicken's novel 'A Christmas Carol', when the door knocker was the face of Marley, his dead partner and we know where that story went. Scrooge had a life changing experience and in some ways your door handle experience has been life changing in your thoughts of how things have changed. Women are somehow trying to prove they are worthy and equal, but in my mind being rude and inpolite this is not the way forward. I found your write interesting as you mention so many huge events that have shaped our history and yet we all seem to have such small lives now and the young have lost their way and don't see the value in democracy and how so many have fought for it. I hope I haven't rambled on too much, but suffice to say that I really enjoyed your write and would love to award a six, but none left! So I give you my good wishes instead, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2018
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I enjoyed your write, and that student was rude and she should be ashamed. I like the door opened for me and I never think it is a sexist action at all, just a polite gesture. I fear for the young today who decide who they are by posting their every move on facebook in order to create a life they don't actually lead! What happened to reality? That door knob is a symbol, in a way the same symbol was in Dicken's novel 'A Christmas Carol', when the door knocker was the face of Marley, his dead partner and we know where that story went. Scrooge had a life changing experience and in some ways your door handle experience has been life changing in your thoughts of how things have changed. Women are somehow trying to prove they are worthy and equal, but in my mind being rude and inpolite this is not the way forward. I found your write interesting as you mention so many huge events that have shaped our history and yet we all seem to have such small lives now and the young have lost their way and don't see the value in democracy and how so many have fought for it. I hope I haven't rambled on too much, but suffice to say that I really enjoyed your write and would love to award a six, but none left! So I give you my good wishes instead, love Dolly x
Comment Written 23-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2018
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Your rambling words and thoughts on my effort carry far more weight than any amount of stars.
Thank you much, and good luck in your own writing.
Comment from Kathryn Swope
This is an amazing story. I agree that America has had some major changes, good and bad. Thank you for still clinging to "civility". I am a teen growing up in a small farming town and, take hope, not all habits of kindness have been forgotten.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2018
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This is an amazing story. I agree that America has had some major changes, good and bad. Thank you for still clinging to "civility". I am a teen growing up in a small farming town and, take hope, not all habits of kindness have been forgotten.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2018
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Thank you for the nice words and fine rating. I hope you have
success in your own writing and enjoy it.
Comment from Ric Myworld
This is one of those times when I wish I had a six. In everything you post the writing is outstanding, but this one hits the spot for me. It's a bull's eye, and that isn't only because it would have said almost exactly the same things if I had written it. The barbarians are everywhere, and they aren't so different from the craze of zombies. Thanks for sharing another fine read. :-)
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2018
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This is one of those times when I wish I had a six. In everything you post the writing is outstanding, but this one hits the spot for me. It's a bull's eye, and that isn't only because it would have said almost exactly the same things if I had written it. The barbarians are everywhere, and they aren't so different from the craze of zombies. Thanks for sharing another fine read. :-)
Comment Written 23-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2018
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Glad you like it. Keep up your own good work.
Comment from apky
I'll admit I share these sentiments with your mother and try to bring my son to be a gentleman, presuming what I value in a gentleman is universal to all women. Alas, today I'm being forced to reject/accuse of abuse any man who compliments me for my nice new shoes! Heaven's, I love compliments about my looks from men; must I now clobber them on the head with my handbag?
>>I was raised by a single mother who stressed good manners. She believed in gentlemanly behavior and insisted that all females were to be treated as 'ladies until they proved otherwise'. Born in 1921, she grew up in the Depression and worked through World War II. She was subservient to no one, but she truly believed civility in actions and words was essential. Today, she would be an unappreciated anachronism.<<
This is a wonderful story that I thoroughly enjoyed and found not only entertaining but also relevant and informative.
Excellent writing too.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2018
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I'll admit I share these sentiments with your mother and try to bring my son to be a gentleman, presuming what I value in a gentleman is universal to all women. Alas, today I'm being forced to reject/accuse of abuse any man who compliments me for my nice new shoes! Heaven's, I love compliments about my looks from men; must I now clobber them on the head with my handbag?
>>I was raised by a single mother who stressed good manners. She believed in gentlemanly behavior and insisted that all females were to be treated as 'ladies until they proved otherwise'. Born in 1921, she grew up in the Depression and worked through World War II. She was subservient to no one, but she truly believed civility in actions and words was essential. Today, she would be an unappreciated anachronism.<<
This is a wonderful story that I thoroughly enjoyed and found not only entertaining but also relevant and informative.
Excellent writing too.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2018
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Appreciate your appreciation. Good luck in your own writing.
Comment from Ricky1024
Hi Howard I like this it was written well great demon imagery flowed well also and I didn't see any grammar issues so to speak both ejective an object the continents were excellent and skip the measure for in place thanks for this talk to Ricky 1024
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2018
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Hi Howard I like this it was written well great demon imagery flowed well also and I didn't see any grammar issues so to speak both ejective an object the continents were excellent and skip the measure for in place thanks for this talk to Ricky 1024
Comment Written 23-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2018
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Glad you like it. Thanks for the stars. Good luck in your writing.
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is a good story for the 'True Story' writing prompt.
Well written, your story is clear.
Good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2018
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I think this is a good story for the 'True Story' writing prompt.
Well written, your story is clear.
Good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
Comment Written 23-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2018
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Thank you for the nice rating and appreciation. Good luck in your own writing.
