Never Again
Never will I subject myself to someone's cruelty34 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
This lanturne, Never Again, has the proper format and displays the turning point in a life when enough is finally, absolutely e- friggin- nough.
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This lanturne, Never Again, has the proper format and displays the turning point in a life when enough is finally, absolutely e- friggin- nough.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2018
Comment from rama devi
This is a fine lanturne. It's got a turn and twist midway, which gives it oomph. Seems like the voicing is allusion to the Beatles's song with the line I saw her standing there (I think it was Beatles?) The flow is good. The simplicity adds intensity. I suggest not capping all lines so you can hint when the second sentence begins (it also would add pause effect that way). Example:
She
saw me
standing there
Then I just walked
out
Good luck in the contest. These are not easy with such limitations on words.
Warmly, rd
|
This is a fine lanturne. It's got a turn and twist midway, which gives it oomph. Seems like the voicing is allusion to the Beatles's song with the line I saw her standing there (I think it was Beatles?) The flow is good. The simplicity adds intensity. I suggest not capping all lines so you can hint when the second sentence begins (it also would add pause effect that way). Example:
She
saw me
standing there
Then I just walked
out
Good luck in the contest. These are not easy with such limitations on words.
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 22-Jan-2018
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
No one should ever have to suffer cruelty from another person and when you do allow it, you are in a way condoning the behaviour. Your words are powerful and resonating, love Dolly x
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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No one should ever have to suffer cruelty from another person and when you do allow it, you are in a way condoning the behaviour. Your words are powerful and resonating, love Dolly x
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2018
Comment from Dean Kuch
Nor should you ever have to, Lois.
Life has far too much stress and more than its share of ups and downs to have to subject yourself to the brutish barbarism of others.
Excellent Lanturne, very well conveyed and composed.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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Nor should you ever have to, Lois.
Life has far too much stress and more than its share of ups and downs to have to subject yourself to the brutish barbarism of others.
Excellent Lanturne, very well conveyed and composed.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2018
