Bouncy Becks
A story for little children23 total reviews
Comment from RGstar
I absolutely loved this Maria. The more I read, the more It grew on me. You immersed the reader into the psyche of the dog. Beautifully told.
You should have entered it into a story competition.
It is light and lovely. Sadly no sixes.
My best wishes.
RG
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2018
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I absolutely loved this Maria. The more I read, the more It grew on me. You immersed the reader into the psyche of the dog. Beautifully told.
You should have entered it into a story competition.
It is light and lovely. Sadly no sixes.
My best wishes.
RG
Comment Written 23-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2018
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Thanks so much for your lovely review, Roy. I'm glad you liked it.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Great story for little kids, especially those who have dogs. Having had a few dogs of my own, I can relate to all you have them do and feel. Any child hearing this story would surely want his/her own dog. Hmmm... Parents had better be careful. :)
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2018
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Great story for little kids, especially those who have dogs. Having had a few dogs of my own, I can relate to all you have them do and feel. Any child hearing this story would surely want his/her own dog. Hmmm... Parents had better be careful. :)
Comment Written 21-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2018
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Thanks for your fun review, Phyllis. It's nice to hear from you.
Comment from Dean Kuch
Someone needs to write books that children like reading, Maria.
It might just as well be you.
At first I thought Becka was a stuffed animal of some sort. Then my logic and powers of reason kicked in (which doesn't happen too often) and I realized that Becka was a real dog.
A real white dog.
It's a cute little story. I noticed no errors.
~Dean
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2018
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Someone needs to write books that children like reading, Maria.
It might just as well be you.
At first I thought Becka was a stuffed animal of some sort. Then my logic and powers of reason kicked in (which doesn't happen too often) and I realized that Becka was a real dog.
A real white dog.
It's a cute little story. I noticed no errors.
~Dean
Comment Written 21-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2018
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Becka is my daughter's Westie and we all love her very much.
I'm glad you didn't notice any errors as another reviewer told me there were grammatically incorrect sentences and the truth is I'm not sure which ones she's talking about, so I will have to ask her (and in the meantime worry about my own inadequacy).
Thanks for your review.
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You're more than welcome, Maria. I didn't see anything that seemed grammatically incorrect. ~Dean
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The other reviewer explained what she meant and she was referring to things I had done on purpose. Such as a sentence without a subject. So now I can relax ;)
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Ah, that's good. :)
Comment from Jake P.
Great story showing a love of pets and acknowledging their value. Good description color change from white to darker when becoming dirtier. It would make a great picture book for children.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2018
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Great story showing a love of pets and acknowledging their value. Good description color change from white to darker when becoming dirtier. It would make a great picture book for children.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2018
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Thanks so much, Jake.
Comment from Asem.inspirations
Good morning, Maria: I really enjoyed this children's book. Becka sounds like a pretty exceptional dog. I love the little fluffy dogs so I had already fallen in love with the photo. What a cutey pie! I believe the adults would cherish this book just as much as the children would...loved it!
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2018
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Good morning, Maria: I really enjoyed this children's book. Becka sounds like a pretty exceptional dog. I love the little fluffy dogs so I had already fallen in love with the photo. What a cutey pie! I believe the adults would cherish this book just as much as the children would...loved it!
Comment Written 21-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2018
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Thanks for reading, Tier. I'm glad you liked the story.
Becka is our dog, she's a beautiful Westie and we adore her.
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Hey, Maria - when you get a chance, please read the latest poet - "Labor Day 2018." My membership is expiring and I don't know if they take down all of the posts when this happens. I just don't want you to miss it. The promotion has ended so the member dollars are not available but it is one of my most important poems.
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You are not planning on renewing your membership, Tier?
I'll try to remember to read it. I do want to, but I'm not dedicating any time to FanStory during the week now as I'm very busy.
Take care.
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Yes, Maria when you read the exit poem you will understand my reasons for this decision. My membership expires on February 10, 2018. I will be trying to read as much of your work as possible before that date.
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I'm so sorry to hear that, Tier. I will try to read it tomorrow. I've had a bad day at work and I'm exhausted. Take care.
Comment from trumby
This is a lovely , little story. I think that your idea to turn it into a children's book is very clever.
I'm not writing much poetry at the moment, as I've got several novels on the go. However, I do appreciate a well written poem and this one hits the spot.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2018
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This is a lovely , little story. I think that your idea to turn it into a children's book is very clever.
I'm not writing much poetry at the moment, as I've got several novels on the go. However, I do appreciate a well written poem and this one hits the spot.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2018
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I'm glad you liked it. However, I thought this was prose. It surprised me when I read you considered it a poem.
Thanks for reading.
Comment from Angela VA
This is a cute story of a little dog. I like your metaphors. I would like to point out that you included grammatically incorrect sentences. I understand that it sounds fun the way it is written, but I wonder if some teachers and parents would not want their kids to read it because of it. What do you think? Your picture works well with the story.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2018
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This is a cute story of a little dog. I like your metaphors. I would like to point out that you included grammatically incorrect sentences. I understand that it sounds fun the way it is written, but I wonder if some teachers and parents would not want their kids to read it because of it. What do you think? Your picture works well with the story.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2018
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Hi Angela,
Could you please tell me which those grammatically incorrect sentences are? I'm not sure I know what you are talking about and it worries me ( I'm quite obsessive and I'm already thinking my English is terrible, which is not good as I teach English myself).
Thanks for your review.
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Sure. I pasted the first three paragraphs below. I'll put the incorrect sentences in parentheses.
Becka is soft. (As soft as a cloud must be. As soft as cotton wool that you squeeze between your fingers.) * These are not sentences. There is no subject. They are phrases that describe.
Becka is white, at least when she is clean. (Then, she looks like a little pile of moving snow.) When she is dirty, she becomes smaller, her hair matted here and there. *You shouldn't start a sentence with "then" because it continues the thought from the previous sentence. You could could combine them into one sentence. That could read "Becka is white, at least when she is clean, when she also looks ..." You could, instead, make the second sentence work on it's own. "With that whiteness, she looks like..."
Becka has black eyes. (So very black, the only point of darkness in her whole body.) (But it is a special darkness, a darkness that is also light.)(Bright and attentive, always looking in the right direction, not missing a detail of what is going on around her.) *These 3 are not sentences. The first lacks a subject. The second would be fine without the "but" at the beginning. The third lacks a subject and could be fixed with "She is" at the beginning. You could include a description of the black eyes in your beginning sentence. How about a "black as..." metaphor. Then you could cut that part out of the next part and the next sentence could read, "Those eyes are the only darkness in her whole body."
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Thanks for the explanations. I understand what you mean now, but those are all things I did on purpose. I thought you meant something else. Take care.
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I thought you might have, for the sound of it. Relax then, you know your English. :)
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:)
Comment from Teri7
Maria, This is a very well written story about Becka the dog. You used very good descriptive wording and very good imagery with your words and the art work you chose! I am sure this will make many children smile when it is read to them! love, Teri
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2018
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Maria, This is a very well written story about Becka the dog. You used very good descriptive wording and very good imagery with your words and the art work you chose! I am sure this will make many children smile when it is read to them! love, Teri
Comment Written 20-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2018
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Thanks for your kind review, Teri. I hope you are having a lovely Sunday.
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
I enjoyed this one very much. My beagle is my best friend and this sounds like her in so many ways. I love the detective--that's certainly what beagles are as well as rabbit chasers. Well done, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2018
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I enjoyed this one very much. My beagle is my best friend and this sounds like her in so many ways. I love the detective--that's certainly what beagles are as well as rabbit chasers. Well done, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 20-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2018
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I'm glad you liked it, Debbie.
Becka is our Westie and I love her very much.
Thanks for reading.
Comment from doggymad
This is so cute. A perfect story for children, especially with the art work.
You have described the Bichon Frise to perfection, although it could be any small white furball.
You should join Animal Crackers Club as an extra fun dimension for your works
hugs
Freda
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2018
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This is so cute. A perfect story for children, especially with the art work.
You have described the Bichon Frise to perfection, although it could be any small white furball.
You should join Animal Crackers Club as an extra fun dimension for your works
hugs
Freda
Comment Written 20-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2018
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Hi Freda,
Becka is in fact a Westie, another type of white furball.;)
I already belong to the Animal Crackers Club, the problem is I don't have much time at the moment and I have only taken part in one or two of the events.
Thanks for reading.
