The Death of a Post
Sometimes an idea to write about dies suddenly.41 total reviews
Comment from James H. Oldfield
Excellent, and a feeling I know all too well (it's more often when I'm trying to get my daughter down for a nap that ideas start flowing :) ).
Just a couple of minor suggestions, none of which effect the quality of the poem:
First line 'mind's' ('mind is'), unless you're referring to multiple minds.
Line seven, I'm less sure on this one, but did you mean 'the idea is becoming webbed', or 'the ideas are becoming webbed'? If the former, you'd again need the apostrophe.
Doesn't harm the poem, but I think you meant 'middle of the night', in the author's note.
Well done, and take care.
-James
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reply by the author on 19-Jan-2018
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Excellent, and a feeling I know all too well (it's more often when I'm trying to get my daughter down for a nap that ideas start flowing :) ).
Just a couple of minor suggestions, none of which effect the quality of the poem:
First line 'mind's' ('mind is'), unless you're referring to multiple minds.
Line seven, I'm less sure on this one, but did you mean 'the idea is becoming webbed', or 'the ideas are becoming webbed'? If the former, you'd again need the apostrophe.
Doesn't harm the poem, but I think you meant 'middle of the night', in the author's note.
Well done, and take care.
-James
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2018
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Thank you so very much. I went back and edited. I was distracted by the four year old at my side and became careless in the hurry to post. I do appreciate your reading and the supportive comments. Glad you could relate to this one.
Have a great day!
:)Brigitte
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Haha, I ca very much relate to THAT, too :) -James
