Selections For Book Project
Viewing comments for Chapter 25 "Feathers"possible selections for inclusion in book project
8 total reviews
Comment from Brigitte Elko
Wow! This is a commendable work of art. The message loud and clear within your poetry, my friend. Perfectly penned and an enjoyable, thought provoking read. The picture is awesome. Love the cliffhanger: Faith believes good is
Blessing
:)Brigitte
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2018
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Wow! This is a commendable work of art. The message loud and clear within your poetry, my friend. Perfectly penned and an enjoyable, thought provoking read. The picture is awesome. Love the cliffhanger: Faith believes good is
Blessing
:)Brigitte
Comment Written 20-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2018
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I'm thrilled you like and understand completely. Thanks so much. mike
Comment from nordicgirl
Now this was.more than worth hunting for. Mercy me, this has such a powerful impact and it is true. All of this violence in the name of faith is buckshot. Faith is just as you describe it and beautifully so. One of your very best, Michael. NG
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2018
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Now this was.more than worth hunting for. Mercy me, this has such a powerful impact and it is true. All of this violence in the name of faith is buckshot. Faith is just as you describe it and beautifully so. One of your very best, Michael. NG
Comment Written 18-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2018
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Thanks so much, girl. I kinda like this and I was hoping you might too. :)) michael
Comment from Gloria ....
This poem is a masterpiece of motion and depth. Comparing the faith by force with the faith by choice clearly indicates which is the stronger of the two. The allusion to Emily Dickinson works very well. Faith is so much more than fear inspired compliance.
Superb entry into the contest. I wish you all the best. Also many thanks for referencing my little poem about Icarus.
A top notch write!
Ange
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2018
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This poem is a masterpiece of motion and depth. Comparing the faith by force with the faith by choice clearly indicates which is the stronger of the two. The allusion to Emily Dickinson works very well. Faith is so much more than fear inspired compliance.
Superb entry into the contest. I wish you all the best. Also many thanks for referencing my little poem about Icarus.
A top notch write!
Ange
Comment Written 18-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2018
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Wow. Thanks, Ange. I'm really pleased you liked this as I kind of liked it too. I'm surprised you knew I had dear Emily in the back of my mind. Does that show? We agree totally on faith. Your "little" poem sparked the brain. Your work does that. I hope folks follow the link and enjoy the treat. :))
Mav
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is an amazing write and I loved every word of your version, this deserves a six, but I'm out, but I loved your words and good luck with the contest, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2018
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This is an amazing write and I loved every word of your version, this deserves a six, but I'm out, but I loved your words and good luck with the contest, love Dolly x
Comment Written 18-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2018
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I'll take your wonderful words over a six any day, Dolly. Thanks so much. I'm pleased you enjoyed. Love to you too, mike
Comment from kiwisteveh
Hi, Michael.
I don't know if you know the sporting term 'a game of two halves' to describe a match (usually rugby for us kiwis!) where the fortunes change markedly in the two halves of play. That's what your poem reminds me of with the two halves clearly delineated both in your presentation - a clever use of colour, font and formatting - and of course in the content and style of the two halves.
It seems you are against the promotion of faith as a violent battle, all histrionics and bloodshed and violence and in favour of a much more gentle and humble version of faith, as depicted in pretty blue!
I particularly liked the very end of the poem:
Faith bows so low
it reaches
the sky
Faith believes
good
is
Great paradox in the first bit - you should enter Yelena's epigram contest! And a very strong ending.
I was not so sure about the 'heraldry is eschewed' line, although I do take the point. My first thought about 'heraldry' is the traditional coats of arms etc, although I realise it can also mean pomp and ceremony in general. And 'eschewed' is such an ugly word, isn't it?
Two tiny things:
banshai? I'm guessing this should be Banzai.
freedom's sted --> stead
Very well done, my friend. I suspect this will do well in the contest.
Steve
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2018
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Hi, Michael.
I don't know if you know the sporting term 'a game of two halves' to describe a match (usually rugby for us kiwis!) where the fortunes change markedly in the two halves of play. That's what your poem reminds me of with the two halves clearly delineated both in your presentation - a clever use of colour, font and formatting - and of course in the content and style of the two halves.
It seems you are against the promotion of faith as a violent battle, all histrionics and bloodshed and violence and in favour of a much more gentle and humble version of faith, as depicted in pretty blue!
I particularly liked the very end of the poem:
Faith bows so low
it reaches
the sky
Faith believes
good
is
Great paradox in the first bit - you should enter Yelena's epigram contest! And a very strong ending.
I was not so sure about the 'heraldry is eschewed' line, although I do take the point. My first thought about 'heraldry' is the traditional coats of arms etc, although I realise it can also mean pomp and ceremony in general. And 'eschewed' is such an ugly word, isn't it?
Two tiny things:
banshai? I'm guessing this should be Banzai.
freedom's sted --> stead
Very well done, my friend. I suspect this will do well in the contest.
Steve
Comment Written 18-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2018
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Ah, yes, "Stead". Thanks. Banshay was the word I was looking for, it's a martial art. Somewhere I have "fight like a banshay" in my brain as a description of someone going wild and all out ...
What an awesome detailed review. I'm thrilled you found this to your liking. Thanks so much, and for the tips. mike
Comment from Sharon Haiste
This is a good entry for the 'Faith Poetry' writing prompt.
Your verse is good. The message is clear.
Good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2018
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This is a good entry for the 'Faith Poetry' writing prompt.
Your verse is good. The message is clear.
Good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
Comment Written 18-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2018
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Thanks, Sharon
I'm pleased you enjoyed this one. mike
Comment from MaryAnnie
This is magnificent. First, the image of the feathers is stunning. Next, the "faith is said to be" segment is blaring in its temper and tone - bold and red. Followed by the gorgeous contrast of the faintest blue of the "I Say" series, with the humble yet powerful descriptions.
The is one place that I keep getting hung up:
Faith is unspoken
heraldry is eschewed
imbued with colour
Based on the formatting, I don't know if this all goes together or if parts of it stand alone. I've tried reading it all ways possible.
Again, I love everything about this work of art. And I think I love what you are trying to say here...I am just not sure how it is being said.
This is a winner. All the best!!
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2018
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This is magnificent. First, the image of the feathers is stunning. Next, the "faith is said to be" segment is blaring in its temper and tone - bold and red. Followed by the gorgeous contrast of the faintest blue of the "I Say" series, with the humble yet powerful descriptions.
The is one place that I keep getting hung up:
Faith is unspoken
heraldry is eschewed
imbued with colour
Based on the formatting, I don't know if this all goes together or if parts of it stand alone. I've tried reading it all ways possible.
Again, I love everything about this work of art. And I think I love what you are trying to say here...I am just not sure how it is being said.
This is a winner. All the best!!
Comment Written 18-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2018
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Hi, MaryAnnie
Thanks for such a glowing review and WELCOME to here. :))
I think I probably left that section TOO sparse. I always try to use as few words as possible, but sometimes I use too few. The heraldry line is referring to those who feel the need to announce their good deeds or have a flag flown in their honour for doing something decent. I added a couple words to make it more clear I hope. Thanks for pointing it out and the great compleiments. mike
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I like what you did.
I would be tempted to stick a colon after unspoken and remove is after heraldry, as in --
Faith is unspoken:
heraldry eschewed
I'll leave you alone now.
You rock.
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I like minimal to NO punctuation, but well placed punctuation can make a huge difference, as in THIS case. Yes, agree. Naw. Stick around. Help is rare around here. :)) mike
Comment from poetwatch
Very good Michael. You threw me off with your beginning. I saw the war where "the rivers of righteous blood" flowed into freedom's shed. But then you penned the brush with a feathered note and brought me back again into sight of what truly Faith is meant to be. You may want to check out "sted"
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2018
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Very good Michael. You threw me off with your beginning. I saw the war where "the rivers of righteous blood" flowed into freedom's shed. But then you penned the brush with a feathered note and brought me back again into sight of what truly Faith is meant to be. You may want to check out "sted"
Comment Written 18-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2018
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Thanks for the heads up. Yes, "Stead". Good catch. So glad you liked this. I was trying to show what SOME folks thing faith is and what it really is, which you caught perfectly. Thanks again. mike
