Comment from Jacques Wolfguard

Excellent

I really did enjoy this story. I could tell there was feeling behind it in the way it was written.

I would have liked to see a little more dialogue play, but I know how difficult that can be when writing flash fiction. Besides that, wonderful job.

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2018

---

reply by the author on 25-Jan-2018

Thank you so much, Jaques, I'm so glad you liked it. All the best. Ulla:)))

Comment from Bill Schott

Excellent

A dark, revenge story here that puts a wife beater in a well-deserved grave. I guess couples' therapy is past due. I like how the character suffered in silence to be above suspicion when the hubby was over served rat poison.

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2018

---

reply by the author on 19-Jan-2018

Thanks a lot, Bill, I'm glad you like it. Allthe best. Ulla:))

Comment from robyn corum

Excellent

Ulla,

You wicked, wicked woman. But... I suppose he certainly had it coming. Matter of fact - he should feel happy he lasted THIS long. Stupid sucker. He got exactly what he deserved. Isn't writing world wonderful?? *smile* Thanks and good luck!

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2018

---

reply by the author on 19-Jan-2018

Hehehe, Thanks a lot, Robyn. Yeah the writing world is indeed wonderful. So glad you liked this little one. All the best. Ulla:)))

Comment from alexisleech

Exceptional

Well done, Ulla. This is an excellent example of 'flash' fiction. I'm sure there are a few women who could identify with this. Pride can be a terrible thing, but nobody likes to admit their 'perfect' partner is abusing them. Good luck in the competition - I'm sure you'll do well!

Alexis xxx

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2018

---

reply by the author on 18-Jan-2018

Awe, Alexis, thank you so much. How pleased I am!!! I actually quite enjoyed writing this. Thanks a lot again. Ulla xxxx

Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

Hi Ulla,

It's an old standard, the abused and vengeful wife but you did a good job with this one. It's not melodramatic. It's sort of sombre and matter of fact. the smile at the end is good, and fitting.

nice job
G

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2018

---

reply by the author on 18-Jan-2018

Hi G, I'm glad you liked it. That was the sentiment I wanted to convey. Thanks a lot for the review. Ulla:))

Comment from pbomar1115

Exceptional

Ulla, I'm learning more as I see how a story develops from previous actions of the viewpoint character. This is an excellent example of how a story is written and enjoyed by readers. Great story crafting, Ulla.

Phillip

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2018

---

reply by the author on 18-Jan-2018

Awe, thank you so much, Phillip. I' so glad you liked it and that you think people can learn from it. Thanks a lot for the recognition. All the best. Ulla:))

reply by pbomar1115 on 18-Jan-2018

If anyone is learning as I am, surely, they will come away with something.

Phillip

reply by the author on 18-Jan-2018

Bless you! Ulla

reply by pbomar1115 on 18-Jan-2018

Ah. . .

Comment from Mrs. KT

Excellent

Hello!

And she got away with it!
I loved your well-crafted flash fiction. You write with vivid imagery and your story progresses well. One would almost think that "she" had a bit of remorse, which is why the"smile on her face" is such a fitting ending.

Best wishes!
diane

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2018

---

reply by the author on 18-Jan-2018

Thanks a lot. Diane. I'm so glad you liked it. All the best. Ulla:)))

Comment from Joy Graham

Excellent

Hi Ulla,

This is a fine contest entry. Your secret is a good one.

I noticed you used the word, "walk" a few times. This is one of those words writers are encouraged to avoid. There are many alternate word choices in the thesaurus. It is part of the show don't tell thing. I found a lot of helpful information on pinterest. When replacing the words to avoid with something else, it brings life to your story. Your readers can see the action better.

Best wishes in this contest. I always enjoy reading your work.

Sincerely Joy xx

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2018

---

reply by the author on 18-Jan-2018

Hi Joy, thank you so much. I've made a few changes and hope it reads better now. Thanks for pointing them out. All the best. Ulla:)))

Comment from Margaret Snowdon

Excellent

I applaud you - I'm useless at flash fiction as I always
have too much to say --- a good little story for the contest.

First(,) it would be a slap

Good luck to you, Ulla.

Margaret

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2018

---

reply by the author on 18-Jan-2018

Thanks a lot, Margaret. I'm really glad you liked it. I quite enjoy to write flash. It teaches me to write tight and get to the point in not so many words. It has helped me a lot over time. All the best. Ulla:)))

Comment from humpwhistle

Excellent

Well done, Ulla. I like the clever way you led the reader to believe
one reality, only to reveal something completely different.

My one concern is that you rely so heavily on 'tell' as opposed to 'show'.
But, I also know a 500 word limit is a harsh mistress.

Again, well done. Best of luck.

Peace, Lee

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2018

---

reply by the author on 18-Jan-2018

Hi Lee, thank you so much. I know what you're saying and I've been looking at my wee story. But short of re-writing it I've left it as it is. I've made a few corrections though. It's still telling though. Argg!!

reply by humpwhistle on 18-Jan-2018

Oh, I completely understand. Don't rewrite. Some stories require my telling than others. I think your story is a strong contender. L

reply by the author on 18-Jan-2018

Thanks a lot. You've given me some of confidence back. Ulla