-Gentle Words-
Freeverse2 total reviews
Comment from Vivian Newkirk
Lovely words, but too much per line for free style. I read this aloud and got my tongue caught. Here are my points:
It is--"It's with an honest heart" flows better.
Flow in 3,7,9 lines lost because each is too long. I feel you are trying hard too say everything in one poem. Did you read this aloud? Usually when your voice trips in a place, you need to rewrite. I'm sorry to give you one star, but you need to work on this.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2018
   |
Lovely words, but too much per line for free style. I read this aloud and got my tongue caught. Here are my points:
It is--"It's with an honest heart" flows better.
Flow in 3,7,9 lines lost because each is too long. I feel you are trying hard too say everything in one poem. Did you read this aloud? Usually when your voice trips in a place, you need to rewrite. I'm sorry to give you one star, but you need to work on this.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2018
-
No worries I like positive criticism. I will tend to it later on. Thanks.
Comment from Sugarray77
Well done. I really enjoyed the flow and rhythm of your poem. It seemed to flow like music. I would suggest the addition of artwork or a photo. It would be a good compliment to your verse. Good job.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2018
|
Well done. I really enjoyed the flow and rhythm of your poem. It seemed to flow like music. I would suggest the addition of artwork or a photo. It would be a good compliment to your verse. Good job.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2018
-
Thanks for the positive review, I will tend to any flaws later on.
