Summer Dolls
When evil plays with deception.....35 total reviews
Comment from rjuselius
I'm slightly lost with this piece of poetry dear nassus.. I don't understand the meaning of the dolls.. Could you please explain?
Thanks for sharing!
Good luck!
Blessings and a big squeeze!
Rebekka x
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2018
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I'm slightly lost with this piece of poetry dear nassus.. I don't understand the meaning of the dolls.. Could you please explain?
Thanks for sharing!
Good luck!
Blessings and a big squeeze!
Rebekka x
Comment Written 21-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2018
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This is about child abuse and the stolen children eventually sold for cheap sex. All the best. Susan
Comment from kiwisteveh
Your little 5-7-5 poem is cryptic and thus open to multiple interpretations - not a bad thing. Does it refer to sex trafficking perhaps? 'stolen dolls' suggests that to me, but there could easily be other readings of the words.
Then there is the paradox of the cold hot summers and the mystery of the veiled moon. All up it is a thought-provoking little piece.
Good luck in the contest.
Steve
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2018
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Your little 5-7-5 poem is cryptic and thus open to multiple interpretations - not a bad thing. Does it refer to sex trafficking perhaps? 'stolen dolls' suggests that to me, but there could easily be other readings of the words.
Then there is the paradox of the cold hot summers and the mystery of the veiled moon. All up it is a thought-provoking little piece.
Good luck in the contest.
Steve
Comment Written 21-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2018
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Yes, it is about stolen children sold for cheap sex, and summers will always be cold for these abused children. The veiled moon is meant to intensify the imagery of evil molesters deceiving gullible and innocent children. Thanks for the generous five stars. I appreciate it a lot. Susan
Comment from Joan E.
Your 5-7-5 is obviously short, yet layered with meaning about evil and deception. The "veiled moon" image is well reinforced by the artwork you selected as well. Best wishes in the contest- Joan
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2018
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Your 5-7-5 is obviously short, yet layered with meaning about evil and deception. The "veiled moon" image is well reinforced by the artwork you selected as well. Best wishes in the contest- Joan
Comment Written 21-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2018
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Yes, it is about the sad fate of stolen children sold for cheap sex, lured through evil deception.
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Thank you for taking the time to share with me the full context of your poem and shining a spotlight on the travesty. Sighs- Joan
Comment from jppoet
Bravo, you have achieved a triunph in the sculpting of this sensitive poem, with added affinity from the photo above it. I see no way to improve upon its excellence. john
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2018
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Bravo, you have achieved a triunph in the sculpting of this sensitive poem, with added affinity from the photo above it. I see no way to improve upon its excellence. john
Comment Written 21-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2018
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Thanks for the generous five stars review. I appreciate it so much. God bless.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written 5-7-5 poem. The summer dolls are hiding under the veiled moon in summer that makes the hot summers colder than it should be.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2018
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A very well-written 5-7-5 poem. The summer dolls are hiding under the veiled moon in summer that makes the hot summers colder than it should be.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2018
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Thanks for the generous and perceptive review. I appreciate it a lot. God bless.
Comment from James H. Oldfield
Excellent. Very thoughtful, and does indeed marry up very well with the image (or vica versa).
Nothing at all to suggest improving, a very good 5/7/5.
Great work.
Take care.
-James
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2018
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Excellent. Very thoughtful, and does indeed marry up very well with the image (or vica versa).
Nothing at all to suggest improving, a very good 5/7/5.
Great work.
Take care.
-James
Comment Written 20-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2018
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Thanks for considering this a great work. Thanks for the five stars too.
Comment from MaryAnnie
Thanks for sharing this 5-7-5 Nassus. I am making assumptions about what cold dolls are, and your note says the image relates. I assume the dolls are abused children. Is there a reason you don't specify in your note? Just curious.
By way of improvement, my reading of your second line only has 6 syllables;
for 1
stolen 2
dolls 1
who 1
hide 1
You might have time to edit before the contest.
This is a great poem, strong message. I wish you the best.
MaryAnnie
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2018
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Thanks for sharing this 5-7-5 Nassus. I am making assumptions about what cold dolls are, and your note says the image relates. I assume the dolls are abused children. Is there a reason you don't specify in your note? Just curious.
By way of improvement, my reading of your second line only has 6 syllables;
for 1
stolen 2
dolls 1
who 1
hide 1
You might have time to edit before the contest.
This is a great poem, strong message. I wish you the best.
MaryAnnie
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2018
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Thanks for the intelligent and perceptive review. The slip have been corrected. Thanks for stopping by.
Comment from Cycler
Your 5-7-5 is very nice - but seems like a 5-6-5. I think I get the meaning - that it is cold for the "stolen" dolls - when the moon is so delectable and romantic while veiled on a hot summer night. Nice mood setting.
Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2018
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Your 5-7-5 is very nice - but seems like a 5-6-5. I think I get the meaning - that it is cold for the "stolen" dolls - when the moon is so delectable and romantic while veiled on a hot summer night. Nice mood setting.
Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2018
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Yes, the slip was corrected. Thanks for the intelligent and perceptive review. God bless.
Comment from UntamedAngel
Dear Nassus1957,
I like this poem a lot. It is so descriptive for such a short poem. It reminds me of a book I read once, it gives me goosebumps.
I would recommend you use Capital letters and punctuation for the poem.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2018
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Dear Nassus1957,
I like this poem a lot. It is so descriptive for such a short poem. It reminds me of a book I read once, it gives me goosebumps.
I would recommend you use Capital letters and punctuation for the poem.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2018
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Thanks for the suggestion and thanks for the very generous five stars. All the best.
Comment from Deniz22
Not exactly sure of all the meaning, but understand you are restricted (or at least think I understand) to a structure which doesn't allow too much description. Frankly, I'm not a big fan of this type of poetry, but so what? You did a good job within the formula. Best to you, Dennis
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2018
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Not exactly sure of all the meaning, but understand you are restricted (or at least think I understand) to a structure which doesn't allow too much description. Frankly, I'm not a big fan of this type of poetry, but so what? You did a good job within the formula. Best to you, Dennis
Comment Written 17-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2018
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Again, thank you for the exceptional review and thanks for the generous six stars. You have inspired me to write more. God bless. Susan
