Word Games
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Ocean Dreams"poetry
6 total reviews
Comment from Asem.inspirations
Good morning, dear friend, estory: You are such an exceptional writer. Your work always take me with it to the places and scenery you described. I totally understand your love for these sites and areas. There is nothing on this earth like the ocean and some of the other things you continuously describe. The way you describe them there is nothing like it, either. Even your author notes are so poetic. I'm sorry that I didn't save a six for you but I have been reading what was seventy posts. Please have a marvelous day.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2018
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Good morning, dear friend, estory: You are such an exceptional writer. Your work always take me with it to the places and scenery you described. I totally understand your love for these sites and areas. There is nothing on this earth like the ocean and some of the other things you continuously describe. The way you describe them there is nothing like it, either. Even your author notes are so poetic. I'm sorry that I didn't save a six for you but I have been reading what was seventy posts. Please have a marvelous day.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2018
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Thanks so much for the excellent review and all your marvelous comments supporting this poem. I am so glad you enjoyed it. Since you come from the coast, I think you appreciate it. This is one of my favorites from my first book of poetry, Word Games, and it was fun to write. The sea is a metaphor for so many things; death, separation, the subconscious, birth, transformation. The real trick is to keep the imagery subtle, buried under the surface, and key the music of the language to the theme, something I learned from Seamus Heaney estory
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Of the ocean, rhythms and music endow force in the spirit, touch the soul and call and love of the ocean make to think the poet to go for the water and not to come back, well said, well done. DR ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2018
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Of the ocean, rhythms and music endow force in the spirit, touch the soul and call and love of the ocean make to think the poet to go for the water and not to come back, well said, well done. DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 16-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2018
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Thank you so much for your excellent review and for all your wonderful comments supporting this poem and your continued enjoyment of my work. I appreciate it estory
Comment from rama devi
Excelent exploration - dreamlike and coming in waves ebbing and flowing with the short lines and separate parts - the form itself is rolling waves!
Fine imagery.
Fine phonetics too!
Enjoyed both aspects in these lines most:
Long fathoms
Down, pearl
And coral beds
Love this word:
Scrimshawed bone
Love the closing line and the metaphor leading up to it:
Inland, I follow turtle tracks
Down from a hilltop
Into the water.
One day, I will not come back.
The poem accomplishes what your notes describe. Written with finesse, and each word carefully weighed. The layering is exquisite.
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2018
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Excelent exploration - dreamlike and coming in waves ebbing and flowing with the short lines and separate parts - the form itself is rolling waves!
Fine imagery.
Fine phonetics too!
Enjoyed both aspects in these lines most:
Long fathoms
Down, pearl
And coral beds
Love this word:
Scrimshawed bone
Love the closing line and the metaphor leading up to it:
Inland, I follow turtle tracks
Down from a hilltop
Into the water.
One day, I will not come back.
The poem accomplishes what your notes describe. Written with finesse, and each word carefully weighed. The layering is exquisite.
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 16-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2018
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Thanks again for this stellar six star review, I do appreciate all the support and I am so glad that you are enjoying my work so much, it makes all the hard work seem worth while. I do take a lot of care in crafting my poems, I kind of write as a sculptor sculpts; gradually the music and the images emerge layer by layer through all the rewrites. estory
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You're one of the best crafters on site, my friend. It's a pleasure to notice those nuances done with care. :-)))
Comment from James H. Oldfield
I love the line 'Always, I return to the sea'. In fact, much as your current title is perfectly good, I'd be tempted to suggest using it, such a wonderful encapsulation of your message.
Excellent work, I really enjoyed this.
Take care.
-James
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2018
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I love the line 'Always, I return to the sea'. In fact, much as your current title is perfectly good, I'd be tempted to suggest using it, such a wonderful encapsulation of your message.
Excellent work, I really enjoyed this.
Take care.
-James
Comment Written 16-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2018
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Thanks so much for the excellent review and all the wonderful comments supporting this poem. I am glad you enjoyed it, this one was fun to write, and I think those often come out as the best of your repertoire. estory
Comment from bmethner
Beautifully penned poem of the lure of the ocean. I too am captivated by is call. Your word choice melted into dreamy imagery for the reader. I felt the calm movement of the seas. The short direct lines sunk deeply into my soul. I enjoyed reading it.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2018
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Beautifully penned poem of the lure of the ocean. I too am captivated by is call. Your word choice melted into dreamy imagery for the reader. I felt the calm movement of the seas. The short direct lines sunk deeply into my soul. I enjoyed reading it.
Comment Written 16-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2018
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Thanks so much for the excellent review and for all the wonderful comments supporting this poem. I am glad you enjoyed it and found it so uplifting. All the hard work seems worth while when you make connections with readers estory
Comment from Writingfundimension
Hi, thought I'd return the favor and review your poem.
Since I'm a fan of free verse, I enjoyed it, particularly the rich imagery as follows:
'Always I return to the sea.
Salt and water,
Thick as blood,
deep as the mind.'
I'm glad I stopped by.
WFD
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2018
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Hi, thought I'd return the favor and review your poem.
Since I'm a fan of free verse, I enjoyed it, particularly the rich imagery as follows:
'Always I return to the sea.
Salt and water,
Thick as blood,
deep as the mind.'
I'm glad I stopped by.
WFD
Comment Written 16-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2018
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Thanks so much for the excellent review and all your wonderful comments supporting this poem. I am so glad you enjoyed it. That last stanza was one of my favorites as well, I think it speaks to the subconscious underlying the conscious, that love of the peace and serenity of the sea and its gentle rhythm that probably comes from memories of our mother's breathing while still in the womb. estory
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I think your theory is sound.
You're very welcome!
Bev
