So...so the Lights are Low
oh that feeling48 total reviews
Comment from frierajac
This is interesting because it seems to have a jazzy word sound. Some of the symbols in words or metaphors are obscure and I can't comment because they seem to be totally subjective.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2018
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This is interesting because it seems to have a jazzy word sound. Some of the symbols in words or metaphors are obscure and I can't comment because they seem to be totally subjective.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2018
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Well, thank you for reading. I did not mean to be too obscure. "The long black one, that the scarves love as well"- just my coat.
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thanks for telling me.
Comment from Sis Cat
This is an exceptional and sensual poem spoken by a man to a beloved. I sense the intimacy of his words as he speaks with refrains for emphasis:
Kinda real
ain't it, ain't it
with the lights so low
We jus' as new
as the canvas
paint it, paint it
with lights left low
The painting imagery is an effective metaphor for the creativity of love and sex:
Lay the brush
in the locket
and paint our brand new glow
Wow!
Your poem ends with a promise of romance when the lights are down low.
Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2018
|
This is an exceptional and sensual poem spoken by a man to a beloved. I sense the intimacy of his words as he speaks with refrains for emphasis:
Kinda real
ain't it, ain't it
with the lights so low
We jus' as new
as the canvas
paint it, paint it
with lights left low
The painting imagery is an effective metaphor for the creativity of love and sex:
Lay the brush
in the locket
and paint our brand new glow
Wow!
Your poem ends with a promise of romance when the lights are down low.
Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2018
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You always give me such wonderful reviews. I really appreciate them. Thank you.
Comment from royowen
I smell the sweet scent of nostalgia in your fascinatingly sensitive post my friend, the memories relived, are just a touch away. Deftly scribed on the page of affection, softly stepping on the stairway to nirvana. Well done, and excellently penned work, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2018
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I smell the sweet scent of nostalgia in your fascinatingly sensitive post my friend, the memories relived, are just a touch away. Deftly scribed on the page of affection, softly stepping on the stairway to nirvana. Well done, and excellently penned work, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 14-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2018
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That was a wonderful review, Roy. Thank you so much.
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Most welcome,
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Welcome dear friend,
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, So, So The Lights Are Low, has a quirky meter and repetition which leaves the impression of nervousness or doubt. A comfortable meeting with an air of caution.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2018
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This poem, So, So The Lights Are Low, has a quirky meter and repetition which leaves the impression of nervousness or doubt. A comfortable meeting with an air of caution.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2018
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I think you describe well the trepidation of new love.
Comment from Sharon Haiste
This is a lovely poem. And the picture that you have posted with it is breath taking.
Very nicely done. I like the rhythm and rhyming.
Thank you for sharing this lovely piece with us.
Sharon
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2018
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This is a lovely poem. And the picture that you have posted with it is breath taking.
Very nicely done. I like the rhythm and rhyming.
Thank you for sharing this lovely piece with us.
Sharon
Comment Written 14-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2018
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No, thank you, my dear.
Comment from Liberty Justice
BEAUTIFUL Photo of a lovely city. Ducks add to enchantment of picture and mood. Love the way paint is used to paint lovely landscapes, and turning the lights down low makes for a better view, perhaps, and better painting. It is, also, so romantic. REAL NICE. Check out mine, also. Liberty justice
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2018
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BEAUTIFUL Photo of a lovely city. Ducks add to enchantment of picture and mood. Love the way paint is used to paint lovely landscapes, and turning the lights down low makes for a better view, perhaps, and better painting. It is, also, so romantic. REAL NICE. Check out mine, also. Liberty justice
Comment Written 14-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2018
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Thank you. I did try to make it romantic. I shall try to read some of ur stuff. Anything in particular? My time is not limited, it is non-existent. lol
Comment from Teri7
This is a very sweet and romantic poem you have penned my friend. You used very good descriptive wording. I could tell the feelings as I saw the way you wrote the words out. Very good job! Blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2018
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This is a very sweet and romantic poem you have penned my friend. You used very good descriptive wording. I could tell the feelings as I saw the way you wrote the words out. Very good job! Blessings, Teri
Comment Written 14-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2018
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Thank you very much, Teri.
Comment from LIJ Red
An eye-catching bit of art, the lights and fowl on the water. The free verse has images that mystify me(pocket locket full of snow?) but overall the images bring the message smoothly.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2018
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An eye-catching bit of art, the lights and fowl on the water. The free verse has images that mystify me(pocket locket full of snow?) but overall the images bring the message smoothly.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2018
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Yes, an old locket I open on my walk and let it fill with snow. The brush needs a water wash, now for something new. Better?
