Heaven's Just A Fix Away
Escaping life13 total reviews
Comment from mermaids
Your poetic form vividly describes the world of the addict. Your last verse gives me chills as the individual "joins the night" showing where a person ends up eventually. Excellent poetic form.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2018
  |
Your poetic form vividly describes the world of the addict. Your last verse gives me chills as the individual "joins the night" showing where a person ends up eventually. Excellent poetic form.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2018
-
I wondered if people would know what I meant with the last line. I thought some wouldn't understand that meant it was the end. Thank you for reading and for your review. I appreciate the feedback.
Comment from FlamingSpade
Well done but very sad and horrifying. I immediately checked the author's notes hoping to read further explanation. To my disappointment I did not find any. I only pray that this is an old demon not new. Many prayers.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2018
|
Well done but very sad and horrifying. I immediately checked the author's notes hoping to read further explanation. To my disappointment I did not find any. I only pray that this is an old demon not new. Many prayers.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2018
-
Sorry, I didn't know it needed any explanation. I don't have any personal experience with what I was writing about. I've just known others who struggled with their demons. Thank you for reading and for your feedback.
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello!
The visual imagery in your offering is vivid and profound.
If I may make a suggestion: read your offering aloud. I did.
If you should choose to do so, you might find that there are excess words that can be deleted to make your rendering smoother.
Favorite stanza = #3 = visual and reads very well!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2018
|
Hello!
The visual imagery in your offering is vivid and profound.
If I may make a suggestion: read your offering aloud. I did.
If you should choose to do so, you might find that there are excess words that can be deleted to make your rendering smoother.
Favorite stanza = #3 = visual and reads very well!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2018
-
I did go back and trim it slightly but there wasn't much I could do without changing the story. Thank you for reading and for your feedback.
