This Time - That Time 2
Viewing comments for Chapter 28 "Joe's Disappointment"Veronica is sent back again
32 total reviews
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Nice image of Joe.
-A very good chapter, Sandra.
-Things begin well for Joe since
he successfully made chocolate,
but used his wife's ingredients up.
-We learn that Rosie's family is
from Bristol; that could be a good thing,
if they could get there!
-I hope there is nothing to worry as
far as Daveth is concerned; Joe seems
uncomfortable about it.
-Now, the questions are how is Ver. going
to manage to get to Bristol, and would it
be with or without Joe? Knowing Ver., she
will find a way.
[Glitterfy.com - *Glitter Photos*]
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2018
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-Nice image of Joe.
-A very good chapter, Sandra.
-Things begin well for Joe since
he successfully made chocolate,
but used his wife's ingredients up.
-We learn that Rosie's family is
from Bristol; that could be a good thing,
if they could get there!
-I hope there is nothing to worry as
far as Daveth is concerned; Joe seems
uncomfortable about it.
-Now, the questions are how is Ver. going
to manage to get to Bristol, and would it
be with or without Joe? Knowing Ver., she
will find a way.
[Glitterfy.com - *Glitter Photos*]
Comment Written 15-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2018
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Dear Pam, I wish I could find another way to say, thank you so much, but it always comes out the same way. But, I do, and the stars are always just a bonus to your lovely words. Now, it would be no good Veronica going to Bristol without Joe, she wouldn't be able to speak to Jacob even if she found him. So, that's out. She has a lot of sorting out to do, but, she's quite resourceful when she needs to be. :)) Sending you another hug for all the wonderful reviews you always give me. :)) Sandra xxx
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You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and comments, Sandra. Sometimes I find words aren't good enough, either, but it is all we have. The important thing is that they are sincere, my friend. Ver. is resourceful so we'll see what happens.
Comment from Joy Graham
Hello,
This is my first time reading your story. I realize I'm jumping in quite late to this story. I'm fascinated by time travel, so look forward to reading more. You hooked me quite easily :) I like your characters,,and I enjoy the dialect.
Joy xx
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2018
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Hello,
This is my first time reading your story. I realize I'm jumping in quite late to this story. I'm fascinated by time travel, so look forward to reading more. You hooked me quite easily :) I like your characters,,and I enjoy the dialect.
Joy xx
Comment Written 15-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2018
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Hi, Joy, thank you so much for jumping in like that, I'm actually working on a synopsis on the first book to familiarise new readers with the whole story. And adding another one taking me up to where I am now. I hope it will help. Thanks again, my friend. :) Sandra xxx
Comment from Ric Myworld
After being away for a couple months, I've gotten so far behind on the story. Darn it! I will never catch up on responsibilities and the things I've neglected at home, much less be able to go back and catch up on the fine stories I had grown attached. But rest assured I was away with good purpose. Thanks for sharing another fine chapter. :-)
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2018
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After being away for a couple months, I've gotten so far behind on the story. Darn it! I will never catch up on responsibilities and the things I've neglected at home, much less be able to go back and catch up on the fine stories I had grown attached. But rest assured I was away with good purpose. Thanks for sharing another fine chapter. :-)
Comment Written 15-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2018
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Thank you, Ric, life can't be all about FS, we have to live in the real world sometimes. But, we come back, the pull is greater than we realise. lol!. Thank you my friend, for reading this part, I really appreciate it. Sandra xxx
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi, Sandra;
Another great part of the saga and the wealth of information in this chapter leads me to believe Veronica is on to something - she simply needs to find a way to connect the dots.
Looking forward to more,
~patty~
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2018
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Hi, Sandra;
Another great part of the saga and the wealth of information in this chapter leads me to believe Veronica is on to something - she simply needs to find a way to connect the dots.
Looking forward to more,
~patty~
Comment Written 15-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2018
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Thank you so much, Patty. Yes, there are a few dots to join, I'm sure she will eventually get there. (I hope!) Big hugs, my friend. :) Sandra xx
Comment from apky
To think that chocolate was that hard to get - and how much of it we now have and use without a care!
Another riveting chapter that I enjoyed thoroughly. Veronica never runs out of tight spots, does she now? I can't wait to find out how she extricates herself from this one. But knowing Veronica, she hardly steps out of the war zone than she lands right in the middle of a fresh battle!
Excellent writing, great talent, Sandra.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2018
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To think that chocolate was that hard to get - and how much of it we now have and use without a care!
Another riveting chapter that I enjoyed thoroughly. Veronica never runs out of tight spots, does she now? I can't wait to find out how she extricates herself from this one. But knowing Veronica, she hardly steps out of the war zone than she lands right in the middle of a fresh battle!
Excellent writing, great talent, Sandra.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2018
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I know, how quickly things change. It's been quite an education researching for this book. Thank you so much for your lovely review, my friend. I do appreciate it. Big hugs. Sandra xxx
Comment from royowen
Veronica has been hit by a number of hurdles in her quest to help Joe, find Jacob, or at least get some information as to how to handle this situation, Bristol isva week's walk away, (I remember how quickly we drove from London to Bristol, when we were there a few years ago) not only that but if they were away, what would happen Francis. Excellent chapter Dear Sandra, you are a talented soil. Blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2018
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Veronica has been hit by a number of hurdles in her quest to help Joe, find Jacob, or at least get some information as to how to handle this situation, Bristol isva week's walk away, (I remember how quickly we drove from London to Bristol, when we were there a few years ago) not only that but if they were away, what would happen Francis. Excellent chapter Dear Sandra, you are a talented soil. Blessings, Roy
Comment Written 14-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2018
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We don't realise how lucky we are to have the transport these days to take us wherever we want. Just think, I could leave my home today and be in Australia in a fraction of the time it would take Joe to walk to Brighton. Put the kettle on, Roy, I'll be over for tea, lol! Thank you so much for your lovely review, my friend. Veronica does seem to be having a hard time of it in this story, but I think she secretly enjoys the challenge. :)) Big hugs, dear friend. Sandra xxx
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That's so true Sandra, of course it's summer here at the moment, expect you at 6 tomorrow arvo,
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~Do you have any chocolate cake??? lol. xx
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I'm not sure, I'll have a look, my wife is sleeping at the moment, but I'm sure we have. My son in law loves it.
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lol! I love chocolate cake. It shows a little, too! It's off the menu here! :( xxx
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Well sneak a couple of slices to you. Heh heh.
Comment from rama devi
Another great chapter that enhances characterization, plot and delivers great diction! Excellent pacing too.
Bravo, dear. It drew me in. A few spags and suggestions:
*
'It's hopeless, isn't it,(?)' Gwendolyn suddenly wailed, her ghostly form crouched with the agony of her despair.
*Surely(,) whoever was deciding these things wasn't cruel enough to stop me f
*
The cost of chocolate ingredients, far less their availability in Joe's time, had never occurred to me when I suggested Mildred taught (TEACH) him how to make it.
suggested she TEACH it - not TAUGHT it. The tense needs to match the context.
* Every time I had travelled to the past(,) there had been some uncanny link regarding what was going on.
*
'Yeh wanted to talk to me 'n Daveth about somethin'?' he said(asked), totally changing the subject. '
* 'Joe, there is no easy way to tell you, but Gwendolyn died--'
suggest contraction there's instead of there is
*
I could see he was genuinely upset at the news,
Telling not showing. Better to describe the expression on his face so the reader can 'see' directly how he is genuinely upset.
* I said in a light-hearted way, hoping I'd get away with it.
lighthearted is one word
Lots of Love,
rd
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2018
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Another great chapter that enhances characterization, plot and delivers great diction! Excellent pacing too.
Bravo, dear. It drew me in. A few spags and suggestions:
*
'It's hopeless, isn't it,(?)' Gwendolyn suddenly wailed, her ghostly form crouched with the agony of her despair.
*Surely(,) whoever was deciding these things wasn't cruel enough to stop me f
*
The cost of chocolate ingredients, far less their availability in Joe's time, had never occurred to me when I suggested Mildred taught (TEACH) him how to make it.
suggested she TEACH it - not TAUGHT it. The tense needs to match the context.
* Every time I had travelled to the past(,) there had been some uncanny link regarding what was going on.
*
'Yeh wanted to talk to me 'n Daveth about somethin'?' he said(asked), totally changing the subject. '
* 'Joe, there is no easy way to tell you, but Gwendolyn died--'
suggest contraction there's instead of there is
*
I could see he was genuinely upset at the news,
Telling not showing. Better to describe the expression on his face so the reader can 'see' directly how he is genuinely upset.
* I said in a light-hearted way, hoping I'd get away with it.
lighthearted is one word
Lots of Love,
rd
Comment Written 14-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2018
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Thank you so much, Rama, for another of your wonderful reviews. I will copy and paste this to my MS copy, it's easier to sort the changes out. The 'light-hearted' is hyphenated in UK English, but not in US English. So many silly differences between our language! lol. I'm so pleased you enjoyed this part, my friend. I really appreciate all your help. Big hugs. xxx Sandra x
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Oh good - glad to learn something new about those pesky differences between UK and US English, as I have a number of UK clients to please! Thanks, dear. Big hugs,
rd
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
As always this is very well written with no mistakes that I noted. Again you left us wanting more and so many unanswered questions in our minds
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2018
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As always this is very well written with no mistakes that I noted. Again you left us wanting more and so many unanswered questions in our minds
Comment Written 14-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2018
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Thank you, dear friend. I'm so pleased you still enjoy it. The next part is very.... no, you don't want to know, do you? lol. Big hugs, Sandra xxxx
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Joe can come to my house and make chocolate. LOL Once again, I enjoyed reading your post. You are doing a great job writing this and keep developing the characters.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2018
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Joe can come to my house and make chocolate. LOL Once again, I enjoyed reading your post. You are doing a great job writing this and keep developing the characters.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2018
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Sorry, Barbara, he all mine! LOL. Thank you so much, my friend, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Big hugs, Sandra. xxx (I'm waiting for yours now. )) xxx
Comment from wordsfromsue
What a good chapter! How sweet, pun intended, that his family liked the chocolate.
You really do have a way of making the words, no matter who's speaking, flow and sound natural.
Two possible corrections, not sure about either, but tossing them out there:
the cost of chocolate ingredients, far less (here we'd say much less) their availability in Joe's time, had never occurred to me when I suggested Mildred taught (should this be teach? Not sure.) him how to make it. I didn't even know if chocolate had been invented yet, so I asked him if it had.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2018
|
What a good chapter! How sweet, pun intended, that his family liked the chocolate.
You really do have a way of making the words, no matter who's speaking, flow and sound natural.
Two possible corrections, not sure about either, but tossing them out there:
the cost of chocolate ingredients, far less (here we'd say much less) their availability in Joe's time, had never occurred to me when I suggested Mildred taught (should this be teach? Not sure.) him how to make it. I didn't even know if chocolate had been invented yet, so I asked him if it had.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2018
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Thank you so much for your lovely review, dear Sue, and a special hug for the shiny six stars! We say 'far less' but it can be either , but I do think you're right about the taught/teach, I'll change that. Thank you for telling me, my friend. Big hugs! Sandra xxx
