Comment from Writingfundimension

Excellent

Hi, Sandra
You grabbed me right off with your theme and excellent writing. I love ghost stories! Combined with time travel, in my opinion it doesn't get better than that.

I have no suggestions, only praise for the quality of your writing.

Looking forward to reading more.

Bev

 Comment Written 17-Jan-2018

---

reply by the author on 17-Jan-2018

Thank you so much, Bev, that is such a lovely thing to say about my story. I'm so pleased you liked it. Big hugs, my friend. xx Sandra xx

reply by Writingfundimension on 17-Jan-2018

You're very welcome, Sandra. Can't wait to read more! XX Bev

Comment from Sharon Haiste

Excellent

Well done. Characters remain clear and true.
A couple of suggestions:
Daveth told her she had the same colour hair as she has.' - confusing - she has the same colored hair as herself?
we hoped that someone might - 'that' is unnecessary here.
Good job.
Sharon

 Comment Written 17-Jan-2018

---

reply by the author on 17-Jan-2018

Hi Sharon, thank you so much for the lovely review and for the sentence that confused you. I shall take another look at that and also remove the unnecessary 'that' they keep sneaking in!! LOL. I'm glad you are still enjoying my story, thank you! :) Sandra xx

Comment from mbroyles2

Exceptional

You did a great job building the suspense up in this chapter.
Veronica indeed finds herself in a pickle.
Great storytelling as we are driven deeper into the story.
Really like where you are taking this.
Michael

 Comment Written 17-Jan-2018

---

reply by the author on 17-Jan-2018

Aw, Michael, thank you so much for this lovely review, your comments are so encouraging. Thank you also for the lovely 6 stars!! Big hugs, my friend. :) Sandra xx

How is the editing coming along? I'm looking forward to reading your next one. :) x

reply by mbroyles2 on 17-Jan-2018

I find myself rewriting more than I do editing. There is so much more depth I'm adding to the story. I've completely rewrote the first chapter. I'm taking my time with it because I've had agents show an interest in it. It demands a lot of work, but that's what second drafts are for. I'm also working on the outline of the second book. I'll probably start posting some chapters by the first week of February.
Michael

reply by the author on 17-Jan-2018

I did that with This Time - That Time 1, by the time I'd finished editing it, the changes I'd made were so different to the first draft that went out on FS. But that's good. If you are improving it all the time. I used Create Space to publish mine. I'm too old for a publisher to make money out of, lol. But the sales are really good and I have some lovely reviews on Amazon. I do sincerely wish you lots of luck with your book, it deserves to be snapped up by a publisher. It is a terrific book and I can't wait to get my hands on a copy. It's also the genre my husband enjoys reading. Will your next book feature Granite and co? Hope so, just loved those characters. xxxx

Comment from F. Wehr3

Excellent

Nicely done, Sandra. I enjoyed this part of the story. Looking forward to where you take this.

Although I'd racked my brains as I walked,--Brains? I know Veronica is talented, but two brains? LOL.

Take care,
Russell

 Comment Written 17-Jan-2018

---

reply by the author on 17-Jan-2018

LOL! I never thought of it like that! Thank you for that, lol. I'm glad you liked this part, Russell, thank you for the great, (fuuny) review! Popping off to make a slight correction!! :) Sandra xxx

Comment from write hand blue

Exceptional

Hi Sandra, impressive detail as we learn about the difficulties that Veronica is experiencing in her quest to help the family. She nearly put her foot in it, but managed to talk her way out of it.

I'm impressed with the consistency in your writing, especially this being a well advanced second novel. Good luck for 2018.

~Mel~ xxx

 Comment Written 17-Jan-2018

---

reply by the author on 17-Jan-2018

Thank you so much, Mel! I've learnt a lot researching this book, it's been fun. I'm glad we have transport these days, I don't think I'd be making a day-trip to London! LOL. Thank you for the lovely 6 stars, my friend, and the wonderful review. I appreciate both so much. Big hugs! Sandra xxx

reply by write hand blue on 17-Jan-2018

Before the railways started in the early 1800s transport hadn't changed much since medieval times. I find it amassing at how the Romans travelled up to 100 miles a day on horseback. And about 20 for a foot soldier. I wish you the best of weather. LOL...I'm in Sunny Spain. Heh! Heh!

Mel... xx

reply by the author on 17-Jan-2018

Thanks!! It's freezing here in England. What part of Spain are you in? I lived in the province of Almeria for 11 years. It's much too hot for me in the summer, I used to stay indoors trying to keep cool! I wouldn't mind a touch of it now, though. xxx

reply by write hand blue on 17-Jan-2018

We're in Benidorm, we've had two properties further south but we found it too quiet. Yes it's too hot in summer. We rent by the month now, off season of course. Less hassle and cost effective. Severe gales in Jersey just now, we've just bought a converted barn (we live in a barn lol.) my son is watching it for us, fortunately.
Trying to keep cool, that reminds me of many years ago when we were in Sydney, I came home from work and found my other half sat in front of the open deep freeze. lol... xx

Comment from rwilliam

Excellent

Love the picture you picked one of my favorite movies! ;-)

Wonderful chapter. I love his accent. You write it well and it keeps me in his time period. That is very helpful.

I'm so curious to know how this will all work out...

Off to read another chapter. *big smile*

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2018

---

reply by the author on 17-Jan-2018

He is rather nice, isn't he? I thought he made a rather dashing Joe. Perhaps when Hollywood comes knocking they'll choose him for the part!! LOL! Thank you, my friend, for yet another lovely review. Big hugs. Sandra xxx

Comment from alexisleech

Exceptional

Poor Veronica. It seems she no sooner works out a possible solution, the rug is pulled out from under her. I think it's time she gets some good news! Another wonderful chapter, Sandra, and one that makes me eager to read on.

Hugs from France,

Alexis xxx

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2018

---

reply by the author on 16-Jan-2018

Hi Alexis, thank you so very much for the lovely review and for all those very shiny golden stars!!! You are so kind, my friend. Big hugs.. Sandra xxxxx

Comment from Margaret Snowdon

Excellent

Most enjoyable, Sandra - and intriguing - looking forward to reading more.

She's only ere 'cause of me havin' a job already - just to bring to your attention, Sandra, that you've dropped haitches in some places but not carried it through.
She's (')ere 'cause of me (')avin'

'He be fetchin' Elowen 'ome.' - and here:
''E be fetchin' Elowen 'ome.'

He should be back ... dunno what's keepin' 'im.' -
''E should...

'Mmm, yeah, she has. I wonder what's takin' 'im so long.'
'Mmm, yeah, she 'as.


Blessings,
Margaret

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2018

---

reply by the author on 16-Jan-2018

Hi Margaret, thank you so much for this lovely review, and the help. You do a lot of this type of dialect, do you think mine is a bit too much? I've dropped the 'h' in lots of their words, but when it come to words like-- having-- where I drop the 'g' and spell it -- 'avin' even though I hear it pronounced like that a lot, it looks awful in the written word. Is there a line that you shouldn't cross or the whole looks like an idiot wrote it? I know it can only be one or the other, so will go and remove the 'h' I'd left in, (without meaning too,) I really appreciate your input, and I'll always follow your recommendations. Thanks again, my friend. I hope you continue to improve in health and strength. :) Sandra. xxx

reply by Margaret Snowdon on 16-Jan-2018

Thank you, Sandra - still going through more tests - another MRI on Friday and am to attend a stroke rehab centre.

I don't think you are overdoing the dropping of haitches, but of course, you need to carry it through once you start - readers soon get use to it - I find it quite easy to follow - love your story. hugs, Margaret

reply by the author on 16-Jan-2018

Good luck with the MRI, I hope the results are positive, which going by your poetry, they will be.

Thank you for the thumbs up on my story, too, and I'll make sure I drop the 'h' all the time. I say the sentence aloud before I write it and it really does need to be dropped. Thank you, Margaret. Lots of love. Sandra xxx

Comment from l.raven

Excellent

Hi Sandra, I understand you need to go to Bristol to find Joe's family....and then some...but lets face it...What About The Chocolate????...first things first...let Veronica borrow your car...you know her...you can trust her...now it sounds like we need to make this trip...but what will happen to Veronica if she leaves her safe zone???...hmmm...this is a great chapter my wonderful friend...so very well thought of...and very well written...and love the handsome guy in the picture...sigh....love you soooooooo much...Linda xxoo

please say hi to Ian for me...love xxoo

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2018

---

reply by the author on 16-Jan-2018

LOL, now look here, Linda, keep your eyes of Joe, he's mine! After I've granted him a divorce, I'll bring him back to the future, my time this time, lol, and he can make all the chocolate he wants and give it all to me!! I might send you a small square. :))
I'm afraid Veronica will have more pressing things to attend to in the next two parts, so it might not be possible for her to go speeding off in my car to find Jacob. Don't you worry yourself about the chocolate, there are plans being thought out as I write. :)) Loads of 'smiles' in this one! LOL. Big hugs, dear friend, and lots of love. Sandra xxx

I hope things are getting a little better for you and all your family. How is your mother getting on without your dad now? I hope she's alright, it's a hard time and you've all had a rough time of it lately. More hugs winging their way across the ocean. xxxx

reply by l.raven on 16-Jan-2018

LOL...I'll trade...you know the show...Let's make a deal...one chocolate square for four hours of Joe...and I don't mean coffee...LOL...smiling big you...Jacob is most likely living two blocks over...and no one knows...that's how it always works...biggerest hugs back at ya...and so much love...Linda xxoo

Mom is ok...her mind was slowing down before Pop died...my niece called me yesterday...she said my mother woke her up at 6:00am...she is was bleeding in her mouth...my niece told her it wasn't blood...she as using cherry cough drops...and mom told her...oh you may be right...it's truly said...I talked to my mom too...and she said so was missing my dad more everyday...I know how she feels...his memories just keep coming into my head...and my heart just aches...it's truly just one day at a time...sigh...and more hugs flying back across the ocean...xxoo

reply by the author on 16-Jan-2018

I thought you all would, but your mum would miss him even more, they were together a long time, just like my parents (64 years wed) and she missed him so much. They are together now, and I miss them both. Taking it one day at a time is good, my friend.

Okay, I'll make a deal, you give me 2 chocolate squares and I'll give you half and hour with Joe!! LOL! xxx

reply by l.raven on 16-Jan-2018

LMBO....how about two squares...for 2 hours...and Ill even drive him home...LOL...xxoo

Comment from rspoet

Exceptional

Hello Sandra,

Ah, for the simple things like cocoa and butter,
at this time (1846), chocolate as we know it did not exist.
Looks like Joe needs a partner, a financial one with deep pockets.

Aren't there any railroads in England?
It's easy to forget about transportation, though.
Maybe Jowell could "beam" Veronica there,
or she could come back to the present, drive to the mission church in Bristol,
and then go back into the past. ( that should take three chapters)

Or we can wait to see how Sandra is going to handle this problem.
I like this chapter, as it deals with some of the unexpected realities
of the past.
Now Joe even knows about ghosts.
If the chocolate business doesn't work out,
he should write a novel about meeting Veronica, the time traveler from the future.
Well done
RS

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2018

---

reply by the author on 16-Jan-2018

LOL! That's a brilliant idea, and if he wanted some help writing the book, I can put my name forward to help him!! I can just picture the fun I could have with that. LOL. Thank you so very much, Robert. So now I have to write a book about Mildred with her POV, and then Joe with his! From researching transport in Cornwall in the 1850s I found out that the railway was in England, but only in a few places, there was a train line between Exeter and Bristol but for Joe, it would still be a long walk and then he'd have to find the money for the fare, so the idea wouldn't have even entered his head. We don't realise how lucky we are. You have given me some food for thought, though. Thank you for this brilliant review, my friend, and all those beautiful stars! Sandra xx