The Resemblance of Fear!
A Horror Story.10 total reviews
Comment from Gershon Wolf
Hi, I was (and still am) intrigued by this poem. The idea of a dialogue conducted between Creator and Creations is, in my opinion, a refreshing change of pace, and it works well in the poem. You lost me in a couple of places, however: I didn't understand the question mark after "All Earth was now under Siege?"---since that question seemed to belong to the "Voice," presumably God. In addition, I just didn't get the insertion of the Angels singing. To me, It didn't seem coordinated with the threats coming from 'the Voice.' Perhaps I'm all wet here; perhaps I'm reading the poem wrong. Please feel very free to enlighten me. Thanks!
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2018
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Hi, I was (and still am) intrigued by this poem. The idea of a dialogue conducted between Creator and Creations is, in my opinion, a refreshing change of pace, and it works well in the poem. You lost me in a couple of places, however: I didn't understand the question mark after "All Earth was now under Siege?"---since that question seemed to belong to the "Voice," presumably God. In addition, I just didn't get the insertion of the Angels singing. To me, It didn't seem coordinated with the threats coming from 'the Voice.' Perhaps I'm all wet here; perhaps I'm reading the poem wrong. Please feel very free to enlighten me. Thanks!
Comment Written 11-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2018
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Tiger ocean the Earth being under siege is basically meant to state that humankind is ruining the planet and themselves you got the message coming from above right with the Creator now the dark and clouds represent hell and also represents negativity the coffin Lids being open also the same along with this tension the older as the Creator brings the dead back to life to to the Earth but the singing Angels represents a time of change cuz we all can change we can all stop what we're doing is wrong and correct it and that's why the singing Angels but also there was a warning of course in the end that he can reopen the coffin lives again but anyhow that's basically it thanks for your review dr. Ricky 1024
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Thanks. Got it. Best wishes, gw
Comment from Janet Foor
Excellent entry for the "What Are You Afraid Of?" contest.
Good internal rhyme and use of alliteration.
Well done and good luck in the contest.
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2018
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Excellent entry for the "What Are You Afraid Of?" contest.
Good internal rhyme and use of alliteration.
Well done and good luck in the contest.
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 11-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2018
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Thanks a million Janet
Dr. Ricky 1024
Comment from Ogden
Mystery writer, your horror poems needs some re-working.
It seems haphazard.Try to make it more coherent. Also check punctuation (and consider killing all those question marks while you're at it). Perhaps you can get some help?
The goal is to bring the quality level up to this 5-star rating.
Good luck.
Don (aka Ogden)
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2018
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Mystery writer, your horror poems needs some re-working.
It seems haphazard.Try to make it more coherent. Also check punctuation (and consider killing all those question marks while you're at it). Perhaps you can get some help?
The goal is to bring the quality level up to this 5-star rating.
Good luck.
Don (aka Ogden)
Comment Written 10-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2018
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Thanks very much for your kind review but every we should have our own particular reviewing and writing standards that make us unique and you probably don't understand that that's why you even though you gave it a 5-star review you callously ripped it apart which is quite fine also
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I'm sorry you thought my review was callous, when it actually was constructive criticism that I hoped you would put to use. I'm also sorry that you do not understand that the 5-star rating was beneficial to your FanStory record, and intended to encourage you to do better.
Comment from Jacob Matlof
This is very good. However, I am not sure how this connects to the resemblance of fear. I understand it is apocalyptic but it doesn't scare me that much. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2018
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This is very good. However, I am not sure how this connects to the resemblance of fear. I understand it is apocalyptic but it doesn't scare me that much. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2018
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Thanks so much for your kind review dr. Ricky 1024
Comment from Gulbahar Sidhu
Great poetry. Indeed, the mankind should be afraid of this scenario. The moot question is whether we are aware of this or worse still, are we bothered at all. I hope people read your poem and learn this important lesson.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2018
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Great poetry. Indeed, the mankind should be afraid of this scenario. The moot question is whether we are aware of this or worse still, are we bothered at all. I hope people read your poem and learn this important lesson.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2018
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Thanks for your kind review dr. Ricky 1024
Comment from kathleenspalding
OOooo! Proper Horror Story indeed! (I always wonder if God thinks,"You better clean up your mess because you do NOT want ME to come down there and do it!")
Excellent and understandable poem. Just a couple typos-
working in a complicated pf 'Inner Worlds!' - not sure what the "pf" means, or did you want to delete it?
"Who said that?: - quotation marks instead of colon at end
"Laughing!(insert space)so...
Maybe go through it and see if you want some of the question marks to be periods.
That's it. Great job!
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2018
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OOooo! Proper Horror Story indeed! (I always wonder if God thinks,"You better clean up your mess because you do NOT want ME to come down there and do it!")
Excellent and understandable poem. Just a couple typos-
working in a complicated pf 'Inner Worlds!' - not sure what the "pf" means, or did you want to delete it?
"Who said that?: - quotation marks instead of colon at end
"Laughing!(insert space)so...
Maybe go through it and see if you want some of the question marks to be periods.
That's it. Great job!
Comment Written 10-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2018
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Thanks Kathleen I did catch the couple little minor issues there with the grammar doctor Ricky 1024 and thanks for your review
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You're welcome.
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is a good entry for the 'What Are You Afraid Of' writing prompt.
Well written, well said. The story telling matches the scary picture.
Well done and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2018
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I think this is a good entry for the 'What Are You Afraid Of' writing prompt.
Well written, well said. The story telling matches the scary picture.
Well done and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
Comment Written 10-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2018
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And thanks Sharon wish me luck talk to Ricky 1024
Comment from Joy Graham
Dear Mystery Poet,
This is a good contest entry. I like the picture because zombies scare me. They never stop no matter what you do to them lol!
You have a lot of quotation marks in strange places. I wonder if you should remove them?
Best wishes in this contest.
Sincerely Joy xx
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2018
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Dear Mystery Poet,
This is a good contest entry. I like the picture because zombies scare me. They never stop no matter what you do to them lol!
You have a lot of quotation marks in strange places. I wonder if you should remove them?
Best wishes in this contest.
Sincerely Joy xx
Comment Written 10-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2018
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Status are mystery writer special ways that I write just friend request Ricky 10:24 and then you'll learn what I mean I'll friend request you miss Joy on thanks for stopping by the house of suffering in zombies are good for nothing you know but they are smart because they only eat brains and that will make them smarter so they can walk around what do you think?
Dr Ricky 1024.Later today
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You're not supposed to sign your name in a blind contest. We aren't allowed to know the entrants identity until after the contest is over.
Comment from Rasmine
Hello, :)
I have some suggestions:
"Then, the sky opened wide and all the Angels Above (both small 'a's' unless you mean it to be a proper noun) began to sing?"
"The Madness and Sadness has now turned into Happiness and Gladness (all capitals are small letters unless you mean proper nouns)!"
I wish you luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2018
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Hello, :)
I have some suggestions:
"Then, the sky opened wide and all the Angels Above (both small 'a's' unless you mean it to be a proper noun) began to sing?"
"The Madness and Sadness has now turned into Happiness and Gladness (all capitals are small letters unless you mean proper nouns)!"
I wish you luck in the contest.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2018
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I always capitalize religious words like God angels I believe that's important just like you'd want your surname katwise or your first name capitalize also capitalize beginning of sentences and use Asterix and other forms of up pronunciation depending on their worthiness and how important they are to me which is just my own particular style but thanks for mentioning that talk to Ricky 1024
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Shhhhh! You aren't suppose to tell me you are you! :P
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Well said, well done, inner world came out open above sky to the ground per wish of Creator, voice, fear resemble from coffin's skull came; thanks for sharing this; wish you good luck for the contest. Keep writing. DR ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2018
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Well said, well done, inner world came out open above sky to the ground per wish of Creator, voice, fear resemble from coffin's skull came; thanks for sharing this; wish you good luck for the contest. Keep writing. DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 10-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2018
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Thought you'd like this Al Creator since I use the Creator in it thanks for your time and review dr. Ricky 1024
