2018 Bernie and Howie Stories
Viewing comments for Chapter 19 "Bernie and the Good Day"...stories and poems about the boys
40 total reviews
Comment from Cheryl I
This is an interesting story from a dog's point of view! It sounds like a pretty good life: lay around, make the mistress laugh, play ball with a friend. Probably gets fed, too. lol Nice job, I enjoyed the read. Cheryl
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
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This is an interesting story from a dog's point of view! It sounds like a pretty good life: lay around, make the mistress laugh, play ball with a friend. Probably gets fed, too. lol Nice job, I enjoyed the read. Cheryl
Comment Written 04-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
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Hi, Cheryl;
My dogs have an awesome life. The only thing I think must be tough for them is because they follow me from room to room, even if I'm only there for a moment. Then, we get back to the couch and everyone settles in -- again. Thank you for reading,
~patty~
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Hi, Cheryl;
My dogs have an awesome life. The only thing I think must be tough for them is because they follow me from room to room, even if I'm only there for a moment. Then, we get back to the couch and everyone settles in -- again. Thank you for reading,
~patty~
Comment from Cindy Warren
The dogs seem to have handled things going into boxes very well. My cats took a while to adjust, especially when THEY went into the carrier. They wouldn't come out of hiding for a week.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
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The dogs seem to have handled things going into boxes very well. My cats took a while to adjust, especially when THEY went into the carrier. They wouldn't come out of hiding for a week.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
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Hi, Cindy;
The move isn't over yet -- but the dogs are doing okay. Howie and Bernie will spend time at the vets during the big move. In the meantime, they get to watch boxes being packed, and next week, they will come to the new house with me while I let contractors in to do their thing; they are just happy to be with people. That's why I use the Vet's office for boarding, they interact with the dogs all day,
~patty~
Comment from Asem.inspirations
Good morning, Patty: I so love, love, love these Bernie ans Howie stories. This one is as excellent and exceptional as all of the other. As usual, I am wearing a g=big, satisfied smile on my face after a good morning reading. Thank you for giving us another Bernie and Howie story. I am eagerly looking forward to more of them. have a splendid day.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
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Good morning, Patty: I so love, love, love these Bernie ans Howie stories. This one is as excellent and exceptional as all of the other. As usual, I am wearing a g=big, satisfied smile on my face after a good morning reading. Thank you for giving us another Bernie and Howie story. I am eagerly looking forward to more of them. have a splendid day.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
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Hi, Tier;
Thank you for reading the first Howie and Bernie story of the year. I'm glad you enjoyed it. The boys will likely show up at least once a month for this year.
~patty~
Comment from frierajac
This is a touching story. It reminds me of my own mother's dogs when she lived in Medford, Oregon. I am too nostalgic these days about that. Anyway! a cheerful and happy read and wish I had a 6 for you.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
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This is a touching story. It reminds me of my own mother's dogs when she lived in Medford, Oregon. I am too nostalgic these days about that. Anyway! a cheerful and happy read and wish I had a 6 for you.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
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Hi there;
Thank you for the R&R. I'm glad you enjoyed this story, and I will take the 'virtual' six.
~patty~
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Let's hear it for the doggies.
Comment from Jay Squires
I loved this piece, Patty. It's not easy to "bring off" an animal story from the POV of the animal. You did it so well, right down to having "personality" differentiation between Bernie and Howie. After reading it, the reader can easily discern which dog performed which act, based on your uniqueness of characterization.
Here are a few things you might consider:
Howie had heard the books plopping into boxes before so many times. [Just a suggestion, Patty, but you might consider putting "before" at the end of the sentence: "books plopping into boxes so many times before." This IS minor, and is more a question of syntax and reader expectation. To understand what you intend its meaning to be, you almost need to have punctuation to have the reader skid to a stop before the "so many times". Read it with a pause after before, and again without the pause. See what I mean?]
... and Bernie rarely remembered anything longer than maybe a month. [This is a funny line.]
All of his protective instincts told him he should be with her. [You really don't need the "of" here. OF and THAT are two words I'm always deleting from my writing, and it's almost always in instances like yours, here. BTW, it takes less time than you think to use the "find/replace feature on Word (if you use Word) and put "of" in the find box. Glance at every "of" that's pulled up and ask yourself if you need it. Do the same with "that". If it reads smoothly without it, then remove it. I also do the same with sit/stand/kneel and others since you don't need "down" with sit and kneel, and you don't need up with stand. I have a long list of words I check in the find/replace. The amazing thing about the process is that you start seeing them AS you create. (Just now, I found myself wondering if I needed the "that" in this sentence. I felt I did. I know it, I know it ... I'm going insane!) ]
She usually spent several hours each morning staring at the screen and then tapping on the bottom pieces. Wasn't that her job? [LOL, your doggy humor is working at full impact level! You have a lot of readers chuckling over this, I'll bet.]
increased in intensity. He forgot about the intense chase [You might want to find a synonym for one of the variants of "intense" since you used these two so close to each other. Just a suggestion, though.]
What a beautiful closing paragraph, Patty.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
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I loved this piece, Patty. It's not easy to "bring off" an animal story from the POV of the animal. You did it so well, right down to having "personality" differentiation between Bernie and Howie. After reading it, the reader can easily discern which dog performed which act, based on your uniqueness of characterization.
Here are a few things you might consider:
Howie had heard the books plopping into boxes before so many times. [Just a suggestion, Patty, but you might consider putting "before" at the end of the sentence: "books plopping into boxes so many times before." This IS minor, and is more a question of syntax and reader expectation. To understand what you intend its meaning to be, you almost need to have punctuation to have the reader skid to a stop before the "so many times". Read it with a pause after before, and again without the pause. See what I mean?]
... and Bernie rarely remembered anything longer than maybe a month. [This is a funny line.]
All of his protective instincts told him he should be with her. [You really don't need the "of" here. OF and THAT are two words I'm always deleting from my writing, and it's almost always in instances like yours, here. BTW, it takes less time than you think to use the "find/replace feature on Word (if you use Word) and put "of" in the find box. Glance at every "of" that's pulled up and ask yourself if you need it. Do the same with "that". If it reads smoothly without it, then remove it. I also do the same with sit/stand/kneel and others since you don't need "down" with sit and kneel, and you don't need up with stand. I have a long list of words I check in the find/replace. The amazing thing about the process is that you start seeing them AS you create. (Just now, I found myself wondering if I needed the "that" in this sentence. I felt I did. I know it, I know it ... I'm going insane!) ]
She usually spent several hours each morning staring at the screen and then tapping on the bottom pieces. Wasn't that her job? [LOL, your doggy humor is working at full impact level! You have a lot of readers chuckling over this, I'll bet.]
increased in intensity. He forgot about the intense chase [You might want to find a synonym for one of the variants of "intense" since you used these two so close to each other. Just a suggestion, though.]
What a beautiful closing paragraph, Patty.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
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Hi, Jay;
Thank you so much for another thorough and concise review. I took your suggestions and made the edits, and I have built in your 'search' process for 'of' and 'that.' I have worked hard on 'that,' and not so much as 'of.'
Your analysis of my Bernie and Howie story made me smile. I love writing these pieces. They usually write themselves, which is good because I'm writing about seven per month right now - three are sold to the Veterinarian society who uses them for their newsletters, and the other three are for me and my fellow FanStorians.
I truly appreciate your contributions to my writing and writing process.
~patty~
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You are most welcome, Patty. You have quite a gift, girl.
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Thank you
Comment from mvbrooks
Strong and effective use of personification so that, if the reader wasn't told this story was about two dogs, it could be about two toddlers/five-year-olds. Clever, endearing, fun read.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
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Strong and effective use of personification so that, if the reader wasn't told this story was about two dogs, it could be about two toddlers/five-year-olds. Clever, endearing, fun read.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
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Hi there;
Thank you for the R&R of the first Bernie and Howie story of the year. These are perhaps my favorite stories to write,
~patty~
Comment from zekeziemann
Your understanding of pet dogs and their "human" emotions comes across very well in the story. I too am a dog lover and appreciate the story.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
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Your understanding of pet dogs and their "human" emotions comes across very well in the story. I too am a dog lover and appreciate the story.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
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Hi there;
Thank you for the R&R of the first Bernie and Howie story of the year. These are perhaps my favorite stories to write,
~patty~
Comment from patcelaw
Your play time with Bernie sounds like a lot of fun for him and for you as well. Lovely story. May all your dreams come true this year as you move to your new place. Patricia
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
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Your play time with Bernie sounds like a lot of fun for him and for you as well. Lovely story. May all your dreams come true this year as you move to your new place. Patricia
Comment Written 03-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
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Hi, Patricia;
Thank you for the R&R of the first Bernie and Howie story of the year. These are perhaps my favorite stories to write,
~patty~
(Thank you for your good wishes for the move and the year.)
Comment from Joy Graham
Run is one of those words recommended to avoid. "he would go running into the room" - I'm thinking you could say, "he'd scurry into the room".
I totally understand if you don't like my suggestions. You are the artist and I respect your work. Pinterest has a lot of charts for words to avoid. I found them helpful for the show don't tell theory.
- "further and further under the blankets". - I was taught that farther showed measured distance where further meant no more. So I think this should be farther and farther.
- I love the picture of your dog and love the name. It suits him :)
- "(This) Mistress promptly picked him up..." - should that be His Mistress?
- I'm slow to catch on and it wasn't until the end of the story that it registered that there are two dogs in the story. I love dog stories and enjoyed yours very much. I'm on Instagram and follow a lot of dog people. I love the antics and personalities :)
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
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Run is one of those words recommended to avoid. "he would go running into the room" - I'm thinking you could say, "he'd scurry into the room".
I totally understand if you don't like my suggestions. You are the artist and I respect your work. Pinterest has a lot of charts for words to avoid. I found them helpful for the show don't tell theory.
- "further and further under the blankets". - I was taught that farther showed measured distance where further meant no more. So I think this should be farther and farther.
- I love the picture of your dog and love the name. It suits him :)
- "(This) Mistress promptly picked him up..." - should that be His Mistress?
- I'm slow to catch on and it wasn't until the end of the story that it registered that there are two dogs in the story. I love dog stories and enjoyed yours very much. I'm on Instagram and follow a lot of dog people. I love the antics and personalities :)
Comment Written 03-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
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Hi, Joy;
Thank you so much for the R&R. I appreciated your suggestions and I've gone back and incorporated the edits into the piece. Can you tell me the name of the Chart you found on words to avoid? (Pinterest is a BIG place.)
I am glad you stopped by,
~patty~
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You could search under, "writing tips". A few will likely pop up as you scroll through that. Then when you find one to save there should be more below that picture.
If you want to follow my Pinterest account, I have a bunch saved under writing. I should be called Reen Graham. I use so many aliases I have to think about it lol! My full name is Doreen Joy Graham. Call me whatever you like. Most fanstory folks stick with Joy.
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Hi, Joy;
Thank you for letting me in on the 'Pinterest Writing stuff,' (that's what I titled my board.)
Great stuff!!
Comment from Mabaker
Lovely. You do Howie so easily. Great story of life with strange things happening. I have always believed dogs are for people cats are for places. Whenever I shifted house my cats were placed in a room with food of course for the duration of the upheaval, they get so mixed up when their routine is changed. Sincerely Anne
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
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Lovely. You do Howie so easily. Great story of life with strange things happening. I have always believed dogs are for people cats are for places. Whenever I shifted house my cats were placed in a room with food of course for the duration of the upheaval, they get so mixed up when their routine is changed. Sincerely Anne
Comment Written 03-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
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Hi, Anne;
Thank you so much for the lovely review. I have a great deal of fun writing my Howie and Bernie stories,
~patty~
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I enjoy reading them. Regards Anne
