Reviews from

Mavis

Inadvertent humor at a funeral

19 total reviews 
Comment from Thomas Bowling
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

My first three wives are buried in my backyard. I didn't know it was illegal. Just kidding. Don't call the cops. The is not what you were expecting o find under the tree. The writing is great. Nothing to be nervous about.

 Comment Written 05-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 08-Jan-2018
    Thomas Bowling, you are too kind. :-)

    Umm, your first three wives may not agree, but I'm saying it anyway!
Comment from Ulla
Excellent
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Hi there, this is a hilarious write and you had me laughing out loud quite a few times. Your imagery is superb and I was there with you as all ran around like demented. And all because of poor Mavis passing away. I've got three cats and a dog so I can follow your plight.
Only thing I found was: 'Our goal at that point was to get her outside and away from jaws the dog.' = ... 'from the jaws of the dog.' I hope you'll come you'll post more on FS. It's really very well written. I will be looking out for your writing. I loved it. All the best. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 04-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 05-Jan-2018
    Hello and thanks. :-)

    I had originally written it as Jaws the dog, meaning a name for our psycho nut job, but a reviewer said it shouldn't be capitalized, so I made it a small letter. But I think I'm going back to nicknaming Psycho Nut Job 'Jaws' for this story.

    I had three cats and a dog as well, now 2 cats, Omar aka Waddles and Buddy. I'll have to check out your stories for animal tales. It's nice to meet you!
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Excellent
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Nothing is harsh here, I enjoyed the read, it is fantastic and well planned and organised, feelings and emotions about the pets and others behavioural sentiment on the grave occasion are realistically conveyed. DR ALCREATOR

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
    Thank you DR ALCREATOR.

    Your review is appreciated.

    :-)
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Excellent
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Entertaining story. Funny things happen everywhere if you just pay attention. Your neighbor with the chicken is a real character. I'd stay away from him if I were you. :)

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
    You know, with the weird way the conversation kept turning in a bizarre fashion, I couldn't escape fast enough, after the having his friend for dinner comment!
    Thanks for your review and the sensible warning!
Comment from Dan Diego
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Funny stuff. What a great way to return to the site. Not so great that Mavis was the cause, but you know what I mean. This is a ha-ha funny and heartfelt write about the perils of pet ownership. I really enjoyed it. I started checking for grammar, punctuation, and spelling errors, but assumed if there were none early, there would be none late. I really enjoyed it.

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
    Hi Dan, thanks very much for your nice review. I appreciate the welcome back. :-)
Comment from alexisleech
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Oh, Sue - this is fabulous! With your wonderful, classic sense of humour, you have managed to turn what must have been a horrible experience into a hilarious piece of literature. Please, please, please, give us more!

Hugs from France,

Alexis xxx

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
    Alexis, I was truly surprised to see you here! When are YOU going to write again, Miss?

    Not sure if I can whip anything out faster than every five years, but we'll see. :-)

    Thanks for your sweet review, very much appreciated!
Comment from Sharon Meda
Excellent
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Wow, what a day. Full of tragedy and comedy.
So very sorry for the loss of your friend.
Thank you for sharing the story of this crazy day with us.
Sharon

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
    Sharon, thanks so much for taking the time to read about my Mavis. She was a sweetie and deserved a bit more dignity at her passing..... but no such luck in our home!

    I appreciate your review. :-)
Comment from apky
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted


I've rarely read a zanier story than yours.
At times it ran close to a horror (Chow Chow and
Chow in the freezer for years? You've got to be joking!

On the writing side, I'd suggest you avoid mixing tenses.
You tell the story in the past tense but often sneak in the
present tense as well, which makes for awkward reading.

But I had a really good laugh, thank you.

 Comment Written 02-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 02-Jan-2018
    Apky, thanks! I changed any presrnt tense to past tense.

    I appreciate your review. :-)
Comment from giraffmang
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

That is one nutty story. It just kept getting worse. Truth is frequently stranger than fiction, it's true.

Some things I noticed as I read-

and away from Jaws the dog - you don't really need the capitalisation here.

neighbor's backyard and yelled "There's Manny - should probably have a comma after yelled.

I don't have my glasses on - maybe this should be 'didn't'.

You keep a dead hamster in the freezer for years... crazy stuff...

"The Ghost of Mr Chicken" I exclaimed! - the exclamation mark should probably be inside the speech marks.

All the best
GMG

 Comment Written 02-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 02-Jan-2018
    I made the changes, thanks for your help. :-)

    Glad you enjoyed my woeful tale!
Comment from sandramitchell
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

OMG!! That was sooooo funny, Sue, I was falling about laughing. This could only happen to you. I've so missed you on here, you are a breath of fresh air. I do so hope you will stay for good now. I'm sorry that your poor Mavis died, but if cats have a sense of humour, she would love this. Really well done, my friend. Big hugs, and a humongous welcome back! :) Sandra xxx

 Comment Written 02-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 02-Jan-2018
    Aww, thank you for the sweet review, Sandra!

    Thank you for continuing to encourage me to write again. :-)