Dreams Of Freedom
Two slaves are separated. A man dreams of his love and home.34 total reviews
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
A delightfully written poem, passionate, but not vulgar. I wish you a very Merry Christmas as well as best wishes in the contest, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2017
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A delightfully written poem, passionate, but not vulgar. I wish you a very Merry Christmas as well as best wishes in the contest, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 25-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2017
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Hi Debbie and thank you very much for the kind commentary and great rating for this effort. Have a great Christmas and New Year friend. tom
Comment from Lucian Carter
Smashing imagery! I like how you start, and finish, with the bee metaphor. No mention of birds, though. You are clean enough for the contest while still catching passion. Good job.
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2017
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Smashing imagery! I like how you start, and finish, with the bee metaphor. No mention of birds, though. You are clean enough for the contest while still catching passion. Good job.
Comment Written 24-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2017
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Hey Lucian. Thanks a bundle my friend for this great review. Glad you found the effort worthy. Take care friend. tom
Comment from ameen786
I enjoyed reading your outstanding verse reflecting subtle passion in down to earth vocabulary and excellent rhyming. Thanks for sharing and happy holidays. Good luck!
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2017
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I enjoyed reading your outstanding verse reflecting subtle passion in down to earth vocabulary and excellent rhyming. Thanks for sharing and happy holidays. Good luck!
Comment Written 24-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2017
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And Happy Holidays to you and yours ameen. I am humbled and honored to receive such praise and high marks from you for this effort. I thank you so much my friend and wish you a safe and healthy passage into 2018. tom
Comment from judiverse
Excellent choice of subject matter. Two slaves being separated makes for a touching story. Excellent metaphor with the bee. The longing comes through in this story of separation. Excellent rhyme and smooth flow. Have a wonderful holiday season, and all the best in the new year. Good luck in the contest. judi
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Excellent choice of subject matter. Two slaves being separated makes for a touching story. Excellent metaphor with the bee. The longing comes through in this story of separation. Excellent rhyme and smooth flow. Have a wonderful holiday season, and all the best in the new year. Good luck in the contest. judi
Comment Written 24-Dec-2017
Comment from Heather Knight
Wow! This is beautiful, passionate and at the same time elegant. I think it is perfect for the contest.
Great poem.
Thanks for sharing and good luck.
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Wow! This is beautiful, passionate and at the same time elegant. I think it is perfect for the contest.
Great poem.
Thanks for sharing and good luck.
Comment Written 24-Dec-2017
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A vety well-written passionate poem from one lover to another to remind them of their wonderful times they shared and how he longs to be with her where he is locked up fat away.
Merry Christmas to you and your family.
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A vety well-written passionate poem from one lover to another to remind them of their wonderful times they shared and how he longs to be with her where he is locked up fat away.
Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Comment Written 24-Dec-2017
Comment from Dean Kuch
Very "sonnet-like", Anonymous Poet>.
A passionate poetic proclamation portraying pure love.
Some of my favorite lines are the following:
Your voice sings soft each night to me in dreams, ... Good alliteration and consonance of "s".
And the last stanza in its entirety:
I wish I were a bee and free to probe
The perfumed scent beneath your blue-black skin;
Enfolded in your softvermillion vermilion robe
I'd taste of every place you've ever been.
Again, some excellent examples of alliterative phasing here.
The last line is a beaut!
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2017
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Very "sonnet-like", Anonymous Poet>.
A passionate poetic proclamation portraying pure love.
Some of my favorite lines are the following:
Your voice sings soft each night to me in dreams, ... Good alliteration and consonance of "s".
And the last stanza in its entirety:
I wish I were a bee and free to probe
The perfumed scent beneath your blue-black skin;
Enfolded in your soft
I'd taste of every place you've ever been.
Again, some excellent examples of alliterative phasing here.
The last line is a beaut!
Comment Written 24-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2017
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Thank you very much for the fine review
and the sp. correction. I appreciate it.
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Anytime.
Comment from Sharon Haiste
This is a good entry for the 'Passionate Love in Black and White' writing prompt.
Well told, and nicely rhymed.
Well done and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
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This is a good entry for the 'Passionate Love in Black and White' writing prompt.
Well told, and nicely rhymed.
Well done and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
Comment Written 24-Dec-2017
Comment from dragonpoet
Very sexual and sensual metaphoric poem of love and yearning. It shows how love lets you see the inside of a person or a land.
Keep writing
Happy Holidays.
dragonpoet
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Very sexual and sensual metaphoric poem of love and yearning. It shows how love lets you see the inside of a person or a land.
Keep writing
Happy Holidays.
dragonpoet
Comment Written 24-Dec-2017
Comment from c_lucas
A poem of observations of that special someone. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read. There is very good imagery. Good luck in your contest.
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A poem of observations of that special someone. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read. There is very good imagery. Good luck in your contest.
Comment Written 24-Dec-2017
