This Darkened Room-Sonnet
I lost my wife of many years in June39 total reviews
Comment from Hitcher
This is a beautiful, well crafted and emotionally charged sonnet. I'm sure most of us here on site will be able to relate to your words and the burden of loss they carry in some way.
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This is a beautiful, well crafted and emotionally charged sonnet. I'm sure most of us here on site will be able to relate to your words and the burden of loss they carry in some way.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2017
Comment from lyenochka
Thank you so much for sharing this loving sonnet with us! We know the grieving always continues but that you were able to so beautifully write this sonnet is simply amazing.
There are two places where the contraction, 'it's' is used and both times it should have been the possessive form, "its latest bride" and "its troubled head."
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Thank you so much for sharing this loving sonnet with us! We know the grieving always continues but that you were able to so beautifully write this sonnet is simply amazing.
There are two places where the contraction, 'it's' is used and both times it should have been the possessive form, "its latest bride" and "its troubled head."
Comment Written 20-Dec-2017
Comment from estory
it's a very poignant theme for a sonnet, a little unusual to write a mourning poem in this form. but the Shakespearean rhyme scheme and iambic pentameter kind of steps through this in a stately gate, which suits the theme here, and you have a great natural, honest voice that brings your emotions into the piece. We can almost see that casket in the dark room. Always a vivid image. Reminds me of my mother's funeral. The division of death rends through life, leaves us torn, berift. estory
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it's a very poignant theme for a sonnet, a little unusual to write a mourning poem in this form. but the Shakespearean rhyme scheme and iambic pentameter kind of steps through this in a stately gate, which suits the theme here, and you have a great natural, honest voice that brings your emotions into the piece. We can almost see that casket in the dark room. Always a vivid image. Reminds me of my mother's funeral. The division of death rends through life, leaves us torn, berift. estory
Comment Written 20-Dec-2017
Comment from Sugarray77
I tribute to a solid marriage that is lauded for its real moments, real difficulties, real laughter. The important things will be missed when one spouse has to go first. It's always hardest being the one left behind.
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I tribute to a solid marriage that is lauded for its real moments, real difficulties, real laughter. The important things will be missed when one spouse has to go first. It's always hardest being the one left behind.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2017
Comment from Dean Kuch
I'm very sorry for your loss, Jay, even though it's been several years since your beloved wife has crossed over.
Sure, it's true that time heals all wounds, as it's often been said.
But the scars left behind by those wounds forever remain.
Lovely Shakespearean sonnet.
The iambic pentameter is well composed, the a,b,a,b rhyme scheme that is a common staple of such sonnets is very well done.
Exceptional...
~Dean
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I'm very sorry for your loss, Jay, even though it's been several years since your beloved wife has crossed over.
Sure, it's true that time heals all wounds, as it's often been said.
But the scars left behind by those wounds forever remain.
Lovely Shakespearean sonnet.
The iambic pentameter is well composed, the a,b,a,b rhyme scheme that is a common staple of such sonnets is very well done.
Exceptional...
~Dean
Comment Written 20-Dec-2017
Comment from Neonewman
Absolutely stunning sonnet my friend. I am sorry for your loss as the void must be incredibly difficult to bare. Thank you for sharing your talent.
God bless
Steve
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Absolutely stunning sonnet my friend. I am sorry for your loss as the void must be incredibly difficult to bare. Thank you for sharing your talent.
God bless
Steve
Comment Written 20-Dec-2017
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I am so sorry for your loss and no matter how many years go by and how we try and cope we never forget and grief never really subsides, it is always there, I hope you can celebrate Christmas, your poem is meloncholy but is also a tribute to how much you shared, love Dolly x
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I am so sorry for your loss and no matter how many years go by and how we try and cope we never forget and grief never really subsides, it is always there, I hope you can celebrate Christmas, your poem is meloncholy but is also a tribute to how much you shared, love Dolly x
Comment Written 20-Dec-2017
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
I liked this sonnet, octave has a good introduction of worries and sestet has effect and the conclusive lines have resolution, memories in the room make a way to living; I like. DR ALCREATOR
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I liked this sonnet, octave has a good introduction of worries and sestet has effect and the conclusive lines have resolution, memories in the room make a way to living; I like. DR ALCREATOR
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2017
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
I think that we all hope to be reunited with our loved ones after we die. In the meantime when one passes first, good memories and the hope of seeing them again in the after-life, keeps the remaining partner going.
Your poem is very well written and presented, Jaybird1. Excellent abab rhyming and a nice flow. Your poem paints a picture of a couple who shared a lifetime of memories, and who will be together again in the near future.
A pleasure to read. Well done.
Merry Christmas and all the best for the holiday season. ~~ Connie
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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I think that we all hope to be reunited with our loved ones after we die. In the meantime when one passes first, good memories and the hope of seeing them again in the after-life, keeps the remaining partner going.
Your poem is very well written and presented, Jaybird1. Excellent abab rhyming and a nice flow. Your poem paints a picture of a couple who shared a lifetime of memories, and who will be together again in the near future.
A pleasure to read. Well done.
Merry Christmas and all the best for the holiday season. ~~ Connie
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2017
