Shower
You can rinse off what's on the outside.5 total reviews
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A mix of emotions in your write, your joy at taking a shower and ridding yourself of the sand and the chaos that your saw and the sadness and regret that you felt when you realise you are one of the lucky ones. The scenes you have seen will be vivid and have robbed you of your innocence, such is war with it's horror. The terrible things that man does to man. But I like your light heartedness because you have to keep your humour so that you cope. I have seen something of the hard side of life having been in the police. I could never compare it to a soldiers life, though I have attended a murder scene and these incidents make you grow up fast. The war against terrorism is the worst of all as the enemy can be invisible. You are one of life's survivors and I am honoured to read your story and look forward to reading more of them, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2017
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A mix of emotions in your write, your joy at taking a shower and ridding yourself of the sand and the chaos that your saw and the sadness and regret that you felt when you realise you are one of the lucky ones. The scenes you have seen will be vivid and have robbed you of your innocence, such is war with it's horror. The terrible things that man does to man. But I like your light heartedness because you have to keep your humour so that you cope. I have seen something of the hard side of life having been in the police. I could never compare it to a soldiers life, though I have attended a murder scene and these incidents make you grow up fast. The war against terrorism is the worst of all as the enemy can be invisible. You are one of life's survivors and I am honoured to read your story and look forward to reading more of them, love Dolly x
Comment Written 15-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2017
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Very grateful for your insight, kind words, and fine rating. Keep up the good work with your own writing.
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This meets the contest requirements beautifully. I thought your opening quite clever as you develop yourself as the lead character by letting us know how you think and what inspires you. I found no SPAG so it reads smoothly. The one thing that struck me most was the continuous thread of the importance of gratitude in your life. Perhaps that is why you are a happy and well adjusted person to this very day. Well done! All the best in the judging and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2017
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This meets the contest requirements beautifully. I thought your opening quite clever as you develop yourself as the lead character by letting us know how you think and what inspires you. I found no SPAG so it reads smoothly. The one thing that struck me most was the continuous thread of the importance of gratitude in your life. Perhaps that is why you are a happy and well adjusted person to this very day. Well done! All the best in the judging and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 15-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2017
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Many thanks for your kind words and fine rating. Hope you have success in your own works.
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
'The whole scene was unsettling. Bodies and body parts lifeless on the sand. Others charred black and unrecognisable.' This chilling write had some dark humour to offset the horror and my goodness war and violence are terrible, unspeakable things. Yet some like you have to suffer them and I am disgusted we supposedly civilised humans are still fighting, and it is only getting worse, so how civilised are we, really? A very deep and emotional write and I really hope it does well in the competition. kindest regards Meia xx
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2017
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'The whole scene was unsettling. Bodies and body parts lifeless on the sand. Others charred black and unrecognisable.' This chilling write had some dark humour to offset the horror and my goodness war and violence are terrible, unspeakable things. Yet some like you have to suffer them and I am disgusted we supposedly civilised humans are still fighting, and it is only getting worse, so how civilised are we, really? A very deep and emotional write and I really hope it does well in the competition. kindest regards Meia xx
Comment Written 15-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2017
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Your thoughts and understanding indicate my writing effort wasn't fruitless. Much success with your own writing.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
If not everything, something near around could be rinsed off if one so wish, no research has to be made;
I liked this story of personal decision and trial.
I enjoyed the catch in the beginning, curious ending, free flow of thoughts and plain taletelling.
DR ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2017
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If not everything, something near around could be rinsed off if one so wish, no research has to be made;
I liked this story of personal decision and trial.
I enjoyed the catch in the beginning, curious ending, free flow of thoughts and plain taletelling.
DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 14-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2017
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Thank you for your appreciation. Good luck in your own writings.
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is a good entry for the Share Your Story writing prompt.
This is an interesting story, well written.
Good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2017
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I think this is a good entry for the Share Your Story writing prompt.
This is an interesting story, well written.
Good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
Comment Written 14-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2017
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Glad you liked it. Thank you for the 5 stars.
